Hypocrisy Thy Name is RedSatinDoll : Y'All Voted My Icon 3rd Place at Otherworldlyrics icontest 165!

[red_satin_doll]

So while I was bitching and moaning about how hard it is for me to vote in icontests because of all the great work I just can't decide and don't you feeeeeel myyyyyy paiiiiiiinnnn...

this happened:

I mean - REALLY? Are you sure there wasn't a miscount? Because I am happy as all get out but also perplexed because there were so many WONDERFUL entries to chose from.

I'm just - REALLY?

Thank you to everyone who voted for my icon!  I'm honored (and astonished and happy and giggly and perplexed) because there's some fantastic entries here. (Who did #5? I NEED TO KNOW THIS!)

But all the credit has to go to my Beta-Muse wickedbish who pretty much held my hand (as always) when I threw 41 icons at him because I couldn't chose. He picked this one partly because he thought it captured Buffy's overprotectiveness of Dawn. It wasn't my personal favorite and I probably - scratch that, I definitely wouldn't have submitted it without his advice.  And I came damn near ignoring his advice and sending other icons except

1) I remembered my own experiences as a beta for writer friends when they seek my advice and then don't take it when it doesn't; not that they have to take my advice, but when that turns into a pattern? Frustration sets in: "Ok, so why are you asking my advice if you're not gonna take it?" It felt awful disrespectful of what he offers and for free. And,

2) The last time, I won third place with an icon I wouldn't have submitted except for his advice.

So, this icon maker has learned her lesson: I'm an awful judge of my own stuff. This is why I go to Ryan. So, I need to stfu and TRUST that he knows his shit.

CONGRATULATIONS to the other winners spikesredqueen & xclaire_delunex!  Really lovely, simple, powerful icons this round.

BTW - my other submissions were #6 & #10. I'll share the other ones I made but didn't submit tomorrow ETA:i as soon as I can get the darn post finished.  t was a fun challenge!

And don't ask me what I voted for btw because I honestly DO NOT remember, I was so torn in so many directions. I will admit that I voted for #5 - I am CRAZY IN LOVE with that icon, whoever made it. I also especially liked 7, and 12-14, so I could have voted for any of them.

Comments

I have so many feelings about Joyce

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

she's "the baby" and b) because try as she might, Buffy isn't a Mom and still sees Dawn as a child she has to take care of

Part of the reason I'm often confused about the monks spell and wondered if it had an element of "overprotectiveness" built into it is the way everyone, not just Buffy, responds to Dawn. In fact, Buffy is almost the last person to commit to the idea. At the beginning of S5 her relationship with Dawn is incredibly - normal, actually; lots of sibling rivalry and annoyance; Buffy is jealous of Joyce's affection towards Dawn. "Why can't I be lil' pumpkin belly?"

and I'm sure you're correct about Buffy's personality as a child; she was probably a more independent personality straight out of the womb. then there's the need to protect her from Glory, nailed home by Joyce's "dying request" in Listening to Fear. Buffy makes a promise to a lady; Spike likewise makes a promise to a lady to protect Dawn from Glory AND from Giles.

then in Bargaining everyone is coddling her because she's now a de facto orphan so everyone naturally feels sorry for her and wants to make her feel better, and perhaps make themselves feel better at the same time: mother and sister dead, "real" father (Hank) nowhere to be found, "metaphorical father figure" (Giles) fairly well absorbed in his own grief and guilt (would Buffy have felt the need to sacrifice herself so keenly if Giles hadn't insisted that the ONLY other option was Dawn's death?)

Even Tara with her pancakes contributes to Dawn being overcoddled. (Have a pancake, ease my pain?) And like a normal teenager she wants attention and love, but rebels against it at the same time and tests the limits of her caretakers' boundaries.

if Joyce had even an inkling of the danger Buffy was in nightly she'd have torn down heaven and earth to make sure her little girl was safe

I think Joyce is very contradictory, which is why I find her fascinating, especially for such an underused character (considering her importance to Buffy and later to Dawn.) The same woman who whacks Spike with an axe in School Hard then says at the end of the episode that she "knows" Buffy can take care of herself. What the what now? Buffy was almost killed except for Joyce. This is also the same woman who let Buffy alone to walk an obviously much-older man (Angel) to the door in the episode of the same name. I guess that's a sign that she "trusts" Buffy - I can't imagine my mother doing the same. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

I really think that Buffy's (and later Dawn's) tendency to "denial" and willful blindness on certain issues comes from Joyce, I honestly do. She is a loving mother, and she wants to do the "right thing" but some of her parenting techniques esp in the early seasons seems to come straight out of an advice book on "parenting techniques"; and sometimes I do believe she turns the other way when she wants to. Buffy's accusation in Becoming has some weight - didn't she ever see the bloodstains? Why didn't she say anything then? And she shuts Buffy down when Buffy tries to talk to her in Ted after Buffy "killed" him. There are things she simply does not want to deal with, and often I think she'd really rather not know.

Giles says in The Harvest that people have an incredible capacity to deny what they'd rather not believe, and that very much applies to Joyce. The idea that denial is induced by the Hellmouth itself - I don't know if that becomes canon later in the series or is just fanon?

OTOH, she CAN be fiercely protective, and Buffy and Dawn get that from her as well. (It obviously doesn't come from Hank!) And when she comes from a genuine "heart place" she can be very eloquent and connect to Buffy in remarkable ways - Prophecy Girl, for instance. It's something else the Summers Women share.

But yes, absolutely yes to all the rest of it. Particularly puppies. I really want a puppy.

*looks around* Um, I don't have a puppy right now - how about a kitty?