THANK YOU FOR ALL THE BIRTHDAY GIFTS! AND IF I HAVEN'T ALREADY THANKED YOU - I CAN BLAME LIVEJOURNAL

[red_satin_doll]

Firstly: Thank you everyone who sent me the wonderful birthday wishes last week in the form of messages or as gifts in your journal. It really meant a lot to me, and made turning 46 a lot more fun than I'd anticipated. It was a lovely, low-key day: my sweetie took me out to the new Thai restaurant in the area we'd recently heard about; and she bought me a tin of one of my favorite teas from Harney and Sons, "Bankok" (green tea with lemongrass, ginger, vanilla and coconut flavors.) A cup of that before bed is now my nightly ritual.

If you posted birthday wishes or a gift on your journal and I have not thanked you yet, it means one thing: LJ is SCREWING UP notifications and I don't know about it. (I've gotten a grand total of one notification in the last 30 days.) I thought it was just me until I just happened to see that velvetwhip posted a complaint about it on her LJ, just happened to find a lovely birthday message and graphic that she posted for me; and then just happened to see comlodge make a remark about having trouble posting a gift banner (which is utterly gorgeous) she'd made for me, and I'm thinking, "What? What is this gift we speak of?" Then today I just happened to see kikimay's birthday graphic for me with a cap of Buffy receiving her umbrella in The Prom which gives me so many feelings, as well as several other times she name-checked me, and that's not counting the times other folks like eilowyn or kwritten have name-checked me, etc.

Folks, I'm all for "happenstance" and "serendipity" - but not on a social networking site. Not when people are making me gifts and wishing me happy birthday, or giving me free PR by referencing my posts. I want to know about this stuff because to NOT stop by and say "THANK YOU" is just plain damn rude, IMO. That said, I know that children are starving in Africa - starving all over the world in fact - and I'm sitting her whining like a priviledged American white gal. (Which I happen to be, but nevermind.)

If kerkevik_2014 hadn't PM'd me about a completely charming and sexy Tara/Faith drabble he wrote for me, I never would have known about it. Sweet, sexy, taking-command Tara is pure catnip to me - and being the gentle guide for a suddenly-shy and insecure Faith? OH YES PLEASE.  It's easy to forget that Tara possessed a core of strength and confidence even if we rarely saw it before S6. Remember, she is the one who pursued Willow - NOT the other way around. I was a just-out lesbian in the '90's, just before the show came on tv and I know how much courage that would have taken at that time (and probably still does.)

SO - if you've mentioned me or have made a prezzie for me, or just something you think I might like to see, please don't be shy about PM'ing me until this notification nonsense gets straightened out.

SECONDLY: comlodge told me that the aforementioned Buffy tribute banner she made for my birthday was inspired by my recent "happy birthday Buffy" post and that in itself is the best present. If I can make someone else see Buffy and her world through my eyes even a little, not by shouting or arguing or arm-twisting, but simply by loving her and sharing what she means to me, then that makes me incredibly happy. comlodge's banner reflects what so much of what I love about Buffy - the girl, the woman, the warrior; daughter, sister, friend and lover. Her's is an incredible journey.

Speaking of incredible journeys: kwritten posted an insanely gorgeous Buffy, Anya, Willow, Dawn/Faith fic, "Oh, You're Here Too?" set immediately post-Chosen. Anya offers Buffy friendship and solace after the battle. Not AU. She wrote it for a prompt from kikimay but it reflects so much about how I see Buffy in that immediate period about 1000X better than I could hope to. It's a short story but it takes the reader on a complete journey that feels novelistic, in a series of short scenes: from Buffy's trauma and dissociation, the fatigue and inability to process everything after the battle in the Hellmouth, to a place that feels "warm, (un)finished, (in)complete" as Buffy contemplates the "the unknown future" before her, in the company of beloved friends and family.

Comments

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

FANART! FANART! WE WANT FANART!

Oh and I NEED to put up the post I did of the Slayer icons for the otherworldlyrics contest (the one I didn't win anything *lol*) I did an entire project on "Dead slayers" - Nikki, Xin Rong and Buffy. I didn't get to Kendra in time for the contest and I was emotionally wrung out anyway - as in, this is first time I've done icons or any fandom art project and been nearly in tears.

*jots note on to-do list*

I've had a theory that Faith is a "stand in" WOC in S3 - like, it was too much for them to handle taking on race and gender at one go (and I'm sure they got flack over Kendra's accent, her revealing clothes and heavy makeup etc - which makes NOOOOO sense for a girl who has supposedly been so sheltered and so ignorant of her own sexuality.) I think - and this is very fanwanky - that Faith has some of the qualities that we (Joss) stereotypically associate with blacks (and working class whites): comes from the other side of the tracks, poor family, neglected or abused; very sexually self-aware and flaunts her body; even relatively generous lips.

[lanoyee.livejournal.com]

I'll see what I can do! :)

You did win, though, I saw that! Congratulations. :D And that project sounds awesome, though dear god, don't overwork yourself. :<

Yeah, I've read about that before. Possibly from you. And YES the clothes and makeup of Kendra made zero sense. Kendra is so odd to me because there's all those headbangers, but OTOH she's also kind of a bookworm and shy around boys. ... I think I said that on that tumblr post.

Faith kinda starts out as a stereotype too, and her portrayal has its own problems. Most glaringly how sexually open = bad in women, apparently. :| Sighsigh.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Oh I meant challenge 162 - I entered Buffy in Prophecy Girl and Nikki in FFL icons. I couldn't get the Xin Rong one to my liking.
http://otherworldlyric.livejournal.com

I admit I was a little disappointed I didn't win because I was really pleased with that set - but maybe it was off-putting.

winners list - http://otherworldlyric.livejournal.com/222880.html

Most glaringly how sexually open = bad in women, apparently.

*headdesk*

Well the series starts out with a "bad girl" (Darla) attacking a boy, and vampire attacks are frequently used as a metaphor for sex (or addiction or - whatever the writers want it to represent in the given moment); followed by our meeting "good girl" Buffy Summers. I think I've talked about the very Victorian/regressive sensibility regarding female sexuality on the show. At best it's a joke (poor Anya in S4); at worst it precedes sudden violent death.

Don't forget that Faith is preceeded by poor Sheila in School Hard - similar clothing and open sexuality, similar "wrong side of the tracks" (lower class) upbringing. I made icons to ease my pain. I may have already shown these off?:

[lanoyee.livejournal.com]

Ohhh, those icons are way poignant. Ouch. When it comes to Slayers, that particular line is like funny for a second and then I DIDN'T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY and then you just need to laugh-cry.

I think I've talked about the very Victorian/regressive sensibility regarding female sexuality on the show.

Yeah, I think we talked about that before. And Sheila! I hadn't seen those icons yet, no. But they are fabulous.

At least Faith did get a more multidimensional portrayal after all. Though we also have Cordelia, who is openly sexual from day one, but comes from a well-to-do family and develops from like... a mild antagonist to a hero. Of course, her sexuality does not manifest as brazenly as Faith's or Sheila's, is more couched in genteel flirt etiquette, like "pretend you're stupid" and "laugh at everything he says". And curiously enough she seems to get less flirtatious as she grows. Though, well, that might also have to do with a more limited social life.

... look, here you have me going again. :p

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

This Kendra one wasn't for the challenge, but I made it afterward - somehow it didn't need text


Here's some of the other ones I didn't submit:






And Xin Rong - oh I almost cried by the time I was doing her set because I couldn't get any of the images right, at least to my liking. The scene is shot entirely with a red filter so it made getting a good image very hard (for me); and I felt like I was complicit in her utter obliteration. I had to get away from the computer at that point:



The scene where she tells Spike "Tell my mother...I am sorry" (not "my Watcher", not "my family", but specifically "My mother") broke my heart and gives lie to all his storytelling - he doesn't know as much as he wants buffy to think he does, or as much as he believes he does. It's a bit of truth and a lot of bullshit.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

that particular line is like funny for a second and then I DIDN'T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY and then you just need to laugh-cry.

Yeah I had to get away from the computer for a while (see previous reply) because I got too worked up emotionally - or maybe just the right amount of worked up? I should be upset by this; if I cry over the death(s) of Buffy (and Tara), I should cry over the deaths of Kendra, Nikki, and Xin Rong, or something is very wrong with me.

But that line had a lot of meaning for me in this context - as a reminder "WHO died? (A young girl drafted utterly alone into the fight)" ; "Who DIED (so that we might live)?" and "...and made YOU King?" (the death of a slayer is as feather in the cap of the vamp who kills her. The Master, Luke, Spike etc specifically seek out the Slayers (although their reasons differ), not the other way around.

There's also an implied meaning in "made you king"- the death of one girl means another will be called. So yeah, complicated - and maybe a bit too serious for an icon challenge?

And curiously enough she seems to get less flirtatious as she grows. Though, well, that might also have to do with a more limited social life.

Or with the fact that she becomes more central to the story, a hero rather than the "mean girl" we're supposed to laugh at? (After she gets fucking impaled, I couldn't laugh at her anymore. That was just gross - she wasn't even getting punished for her own sexuality but for XANDER and Willlow's? GROSS.) Once she starts to become the hero, I guess that means toning down the sex?

And then she has sex with the boy she's pretty much raised while possessed and has a mystical pregnancy and...people wonder why I haven't watched AtS. Oy.