![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
red_satin_dollFirstly: Thank you everyone who sent me the wonderful birthday wishes last week in the form of messages or as gifts in your journal. It really meant a lot to me, and made turning 46 a lot more fun than I'd anticipated. It was a lovely, low-key day: my sweetie took me out to the new Thai restaurant in the area we'd recently heard about; and she bought me a tin of one of my favorite teas from Harney and Sons, "Bankok" (green tea with lemongrass, ginger, vanilla and coconut flavors.) A cup of that before bed is now my nightly ritual.
If you posted birthday wishes or a gift on your journal and I have not thanked you yet, it means one thing: LJ is SCREWING UP notifications and I don't know about it. (I've gotten a grand total of one notification in the last 30 days.) I thought it was just me until I just happened to see that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
velvetwhip posted a complaint about it on her LJ, just happened to find a lovely birthday message and graphic that she posted for me; and then just happened to see comlodge make a remark about having trouble posting a gift banner (which is utterly gorgeous) she'd made for me, and I'm thinking, "What? What is this gift we speak of?" Then today I just happened to see kikimay's birthday graphic for me with a cap of Buffy receiving her umbrella in The Prom which gives me so many feelings, as well as several other times she name-checked me, and that's not counting the times other folks like eilowyn or kwritten have name-checked me, etc.
Folks, I'm all for "happenstance" and "serendipity" - but not on a social networking site. Not when people are making me gifts and wishing me happy birthday, or giving me free PR by referencing my posts. I want to know about this stuff because to NOT stop by and say "THANK YOU" is just plain damn rude, IMO. That said, I know that children are starving in Africa - starving all over the world in fact - and I'm sitting her whining like a priviledged American white gal. (Which I happen to be, but nevermind.)
Ifkerkevik_2014 hadn't PM'd me about a completely charming and sexy Tara/Faith drabble he wrote for me, I never would have known about it. Sweet, sexy, taking-command Tara is pure catnip to me - and being the gentle guide for a suddenly-shy and insecure Faith? OH YES PLEASE. It's easy to forget that Tara possessed a core of strength and confidence even if we rarely saw it before S6. Remember, she is the one who pursued Willow - NOT the other way around. I was a just-out lesbian in the '90's, just before the show came on tv and I know how much courage that would have taken at that time (and probably still does.)
SO - if you've mentioned me or have made a prezzie for me, or just something you think I might like to see, please don't be shy about PM'ing me until this notification nonsense gets straightened out.
SECONDLY:comlodge told me that the aforementioned Buffy tribute banner she made for my birthday was inspired by my recent "happy birthday Buffy" post and that in itself is the best present. If I can make someone else see Buffy and her world through my eyes even a little, not by shouting or arguing or arm-twisting, but simply by loving her and sharing what she means to me, then that makes me incredibly happy. comlodge's banner reflects what so much of what I love about Buffy - the girl, the woman, the warrior; daughter, sister, friend and lover. Her's is an incredible journey.
Speaking of incredible journeys:kwritten posted an insanely gorgeous Buffy, Anya, Willow, Dawn/Faith fic, "Oh, You're Here Too?" set immediately post-Chosen. Anya offers Buffy friendship and solace after the battle. Not AU. She wrote it for a prompt from kikimay but it reflects so much about how I see Buffy in that immediate period about 1000X better than I could hope to. It's a short story but it takes the reader on a complete journey that feels novelistic, in a series of short scenes: from Buffy's trauma and dissociation, the fatigue and inability to process everything after the battle in the Hellmouth, to a place that feels "warm, (un)finished, (in)complete" as Buffy contemplates the "the unknown future" before her, in the company of beloved friends and family.
If you posted birthday wishes or a gift on your journal and I have not thanked you yet, it means one thing: LJ is SCREWING UP notifications and I don't know about it. (I've gotten a grand total of one notification in the last 30 days.) I thought it was just me until I just happened to see that
velvetwhip posted a complaint about it on her LJ, just happened to find a lovely birthday message and graphic that she posted for me; and then just happened to see comlodge make a remark about having trouble posting a gift banner (which is utterly gorgeous) she'd made for me, and I'm thinking, "What? What is this gift we speak of?" Then today I just happened to see kikimay's birthday graphic for me with a cap of Buffy receiving her umbrella in The Prom which gives me so many feelings, as well as several other times she name-checked me, and that's not counting the times other folks like eilowyn or kwritten have name-checked me, etc. Folks, I'm all for "happenstance" and "serendipity" - but not on a social networking site. Not when people are making me gifts and wishing me happy birthday, or giving me free PR by referencing my posts. I want to know about this stuff because to NOT stop by and say "THANK YOU" is just plain damn rude, IMO. That said, I know that children are starving in Africa - starving all over the world in fact - and I'm sitting her whining like a priviledged American white gal. (Which I happen to be, but nevermind.)
If
kerkevik_2014 hadn't PM'd me about a completely charming and sexy Tara/Faith drabble he wrote for me, I never would have known about it. Sweet, sexy, taking-command Tara is pure catnip to me - and being the gentle guide for a suddenly-shy and insecure Faith? OH YES PLEASE. It's easy to forget that Tara possessed a core of strength and confidence even if we rarely saw it before S6. Remember, she is the one who pursued Willow - NOT the other way around. I was a just-out lesbian in the '90's, just before the show came on tv and I know how much courage that would have taken at that time (and probably still does.)SO - if you've mentioned me or have made a prezzie for me, or just something you think I might like to see, please don't be shy about PM'ing me until this notification nonsense gets straightened out.
SECONDLY:
comlodge told me that the aforementioned Buffy tribute banner she made for my birthday was inspired by my recent "happy birthday Buffy" post and that in itself is the best present. If I can make someone else see Buffy and her world through my eyes even a little, not by shouting or arguing or arm-twisting, but simply by loving her and sharing what she means to me, then that makes me incredibly happy. comlodge's banner reflects what so much of what I love about Buffy - the girl, the woman, the warrior; daughter, sister, friend and lover. Her's is an incredible journey.Speaking of incredible journeys:
kwritten posted an insanely gorgeous Buffy, Anya, Willow, Dawn/Faith fic, "Oh, You're Here Too?" set immediately post-Chosen. Anya offers Buffy friendship and solace after the battle. Not AU. She wrote it for a prompt from kikimay but it reflects so much about how I see Buffy in that immediate period about 1000X better than I could hope to. It's a short story but it takes the reader on a complete journey that feels novelistic, in a series of short scenes: from Buffy's trauma and dissociation, the fatigue and inability to process everything after the battle in the Hellmouth, to a place that feels "warm, (un)finished, (in)complete" as Buffy contemplates the "the unknown future" before her, in the company of beloved friends and family.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:16 pm (UTC)Don't forget it's part of a set of three; do read the others.
http://open-on-sunday.livejournal.com/2913192.html
Must get back on the horsey; been letting myself get far too easily distracted by mere RL howwiblenesses lately.
Ray.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:32 pm (UTC)And I will read the others I haven't forgotten! Nor have I forgotten that I've promised to post Tara icons sometime soon; I made some from OAFA that I like conceptually but can't get the image and text to work to my liking. *le sigh*
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:20 pm (UTC)Gabrielle
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:30 pm (UTC)And when someone sends other people my way? No one might say to me "I saw the link on so and so's post" but it's a big deal to me anyway. It's free PR, for which I'm eternally grateful (and I know how hard it is to "generate traffic" from trying to help my sweetie with her blog and ebay auctions etc); and it's another gauge of things I've posted that other people enjoy seeing and reading, in addition to the convo threads. So that helps me tremendously here.
ANYHOOO....I do hope things clear up soon. (When are the Olympics over? *lol*)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:36 pm (UTC)Gabrielle
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 01:25 am (UTC)Which I used to do religiously and how I found your post. Thank you for the reminder though because I NEED to get back into the habit. esp since I have several new friends. (maybe spend ten less minutes making icons...*lol*)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 01:24 am (UTC)oh yes please! How am I supposed to get any sleep now with the anticipation?
BTW- are you psychic or something? b'cause I almost mentioned you in this post but then forgot to (or I was going on too long or something) but I definitely had you in mind when I was writing this. those questions you asked me a while back re: how do I like buffy to be portrayed etc are constantly on my mind when I pimp other people's stuff or write about Buffy myself. It's like, I don't know how to answer the question as an answer, so I'm trying to answer in a "roundabout" way by demonstrating and sharing.
does that make sense?
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 02:54 am (UTC)Anyway, try not to let this affect your sleep. I work VERY slow. And there's a possibility it won't work out and will have to go to the manip graveyard. But I've got it roughed in, and I think it will come together just fine.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 06:42 pm (UTC)That's really sweet that you have me in mind! (My plan for world domination on Buffy's behalf is progressing right on schedule *evil cackle*)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 01:16 am (UTC)Have you seen kikimay's first fan vid
YESYESYESSSSSS! I left a comment earlier. I would never have thought of that song for Buffy but kiki's vid made it feel like a perfect choice.
I thought and the snip of Angelus and Buffy just broke my heart.
Oh yes and the clip from Amends and Buffy begging Angel not to commit suicide ("What about me?" OMG SO ironic in light of The Gift), and of course The Prom (which seems to be getting a lot of appreciation lately in these parts, yes *wink*)
I definitely hope she does more.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 08:45 pm (UTC)The very best. :D
no subject
Date: 2014-02-21 11:20 pm (UTC)Thanks for sharing links!
*squish*
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 01:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 08:08 am (UTC)Sorry about the notifications - but it sounds like your bday was splendid.
idk about anything you may have missed - but I finally wrote my Spike+Dawn meta and also a new Dawn fic series (which should be finished soon) which is really, really dark and ofc - LESBIANS. so. you know. :)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 06:40 pm (UTC)Pimping is what I do! (oh wait, that doesn't sound quite right...*lol*)
And I saw you posted the meta! Plus, I meant to rec the third installment of the blurring the lines series (did I? I honestly can't remember now. My brain = sieve.)
Did I ever send you btw the one and only Dawn and Spike icon I ever made, from Bargaining? I did it as a gift to you before the apartment fire with a batch of Bargaining icons and never got around to posting them. (Nowhere near as lovely as your icons, sadly)
LESBIANS
Dark, chocolately lesbian goodness, yum!
Btw - it pleases me to no end that there are folks out there still using the word "lesbian". I stopped a few years back thinking, oh, I'm past labels it's old-fashioned blah blah blah, so uncool...and then something comes up in the news about stupid attempts to oppress sexual minorities and I'm back to, oh fuck it, I AM a LESBIAN. Deal with it, morons.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-23 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 04:12 pm (UTC)It sounds like you were spoilt ... but that's no excuse for me.
Hope you did have a happy birthday ... the start of a special year.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2014-02-23 07:56 pm (UTC)Its been a very nice start - actually, all of January was really lovely, so it's been like I've been celebrating my birthday for over a month already.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 05:00 pm (UTC)(As for the notifications not working, have you tried searching for your username? That might uncover more mentions that you've missed)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-22 11:31 pm (UTC)BTW - I really don't pay attention to my DW like, at all. So did you do another Big Damn Love Fest and I missed it, or have you just been busy this year and it didn't happen?
(As for the notifications not working, have you tried searching for your username? That might uncover more mentions that you've missed)
I didn't even know I could do that - YOU ARE THE BEST, THANK YOU!
no subject
Date: 2014-02-23 09:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-23 04:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-02-25 05:55 pm (UTC)But I have thought about having the fest on LJ as well, since Buffyverse folks on LJ seem terribly hostile towards change, and in my experience often refuse to even consider participating on other platforms - I've seen people complain about how there isn't any [insert pairing here] fic written anymore, and then when I've recced stories on AO3, they've have told me that they only read fic on LJ. And I just don't see the point of it. Where fandom goes, I go.
(or at least try to go - my dalliance with Tumblr lasted bit over a year before I grew bored :D)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-25 11:07 pm (UTC)I did set up the DW account because Snowpuppies recommended it. I find for myself, it doesn't work so well with my ADD and distractability to try to manage two accounts, then have two sets of comments to answer, to groups of "readership/audience" to try and build and so forth. And cross-posting from DW to LJ was never as easy as it was supposed to be but I guess I didn't take the time to master it. (I'm not lazy and impatient, nope, not me.)
I've seen people complain about how there isn't any [insert pairing here] fic written anymore, and then when I've recced stories on AO3, they've have told me that they only read fic on LJ. And I just don't see the point of it.
People are strange. (Keep in mind I came into fandom via moulin rouge on ff.net and various sites ten+ years ago, so I guess I'm familiar with the idea that not everything is in one place. ff.net was the ONLY place to go for mr fic, then you needed another site for general discussion etc.)
no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 12:37 am (UTC)So so late to the party but wishing you the happiest all the same!
And, yes, Tara was a wonderful character ... and probably the single best (as in nearly totally saintly) character on the show.
no subject
Date: 2014-02-24 06:33 pm (UTC)And I do love Tara - although that didn't personally happen for me until S6, as I've said before; and then I started reevaluating her esp in terms of how she fits Buffy's narrative arc and not just as willow's other half. I really wish Joss had been willing to reconsider his end goal in terms of that character because she was evolving into a fabulous woman. (Which meant of course she HAD to die. *sigh*)
(as in nearly totally saintly)
Have you read
Clockwork also wrote another fix, Shadows and Light, exploring Tara's thoughts while Glory is torturing her in Tough Love,
http://clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com/13845.html
after we had a conversation about how Tara's sacrifice on behalf of the Summers sisters in that episode is so terribly overlooked, at least in the parts of fandom I'm familiar with, esp in comparison to Spike's in Intervention. And I think that the perception that Tara is just a "good person" (and female) contributes to that: women are supposed to sacrifice themselves to protect loved ones, esp children, and the assumption is that Tara is just INHERENTLY good so no one questions what she was thinking, or assumes that there may have been a moment when she would have been tempted to give up Dawn just to free herself of the crushing pain.
And that I think is a huge, huge mistake. Buffy GETS what Tara did even though there's no "sexy wounds", no kisses of gratitude; all she can do is hug Tara in the hospital and try to stop Willow from killing herself.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-10 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-03-10 09:02 pm (UTC)I'm just happy you're here! BTW - was that your post on tumblr as kit...I can't spell your other penname, reminding everyone that it was Kendra, NOT Buffy, who named, Mr Pointy, and how Kendra gets so overlooked? I saw it on su_herald and damn you were spot on.
I can see why she isn't considered as important as Faith, though - because poor Kendra didn't even make it through the entirety of a single season. (S2 was shitty towards women of color. Can I say that?)
no subject
Date: 2014-03-10 09:22 pm (UTC)Happy to be here! And yes, that was indeed my post, the tags regarding Kendra anyway. I literally just scrolled through buffyworld.com (where they crosspost the herald) and went "huhwhut?" a little. But hey, it made me think "let's see what
Thanks, btw! You're right, Kendra really go the very shortest end of the stick. And sure you can say that - the entire series was shitty towards people of color, let's be real. I would've loved to see more of Kendra, though OTOH I love Faith too. :<
Damn now I'm getting fanart ideas.no subject
Date: 2014-03-10 09:43 pm (UTC)Oh and I NEED to put up the post I did of the Slayer icons for the otherworldlyrics contest (the one I didn't win anything *lol*) I did an entire project on "Dead slayers" - Nikki, Xin Rong and Buffy. I didn't get to Kendra in time for the contest and I was emotionally wrung out anyway - as in, this is first time I've done icons or any fandom art project and been nearly in tears.
*jots note on to-do list*
I've had a theory that Faith is a "stand in" WOC in S3 - like, it was too much for them to handle taking on race and gender at one go (and I'm sure they got flack over Kendra's accent, her revealing clothes and heavy makeup etc - which makes NOOOOO sense for a girl who has supposedly been so sheltered and so ignorant of her own sexuality.) I think - and this is very fanwanky - that Faith has some of the qualities that we (Joss) stereotypically associate with blacks (and working class whites): comes from the other side of the tracks, poor family, neglected or abused; very sexually self-aware and flaunts her body; even relatively generous lips.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-10 10:20 pm (UTC)You did win, though, I saw that! Congratulations. :D And that project sounds awesome, though dear god, don't overwork yourself. :<
Yeah, I've read about that before. Possibly from you. And YES the clothes and makeup of Kendra made zero sense. Kendra is so odd to me because there's all those headbangers, but OTOH she's also kind of a bookworm and shy around boys. ... I think I said that on that tumblr post.
Faith kinda starts out as a stereotype too, and her portrayal has its own problems. Most glaringly how sexually open = bad in women, apparently. :| Sighsigh.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-10 11:49 pm (UTC)http://otherworldlyric.livejournal.com
I admit I was a little disappointed I didn't win because I was really pleased with that set - but maybe it was off-putting.
winners list - http://otherworldlyric.livejournal.com/222880.html
Most glaringly how sexually open = bad in women, apparently.
*headdesk*
Well the series starts out with a "bad girl" (Darla) attacking a boy, and vampire attacks are frequently used as a metaphor for sex (or addiction or - whatever the writers want it to represent in the given moment); followed by our meeting "good girl" Buffy Summers. I think I've talked about the very Victorian/regressive sensibility regarding female sexuality on the show. At best it's a joke (poor Anya in S4); at worst it precedes sudden violent death.
Don't forget that Faith is preceeded by poor Sheila in School Hard - similar clothing and open sexuality, similar "wrong side of the tracks" (lower class) upbringing. I made icons to ease my pain. I may have already shown these off?:
no subject
Date: 2014-03-11 12:55 am (UTC)I think I've talked about the very Victorian/regressive sensibility regarding female sexuality on the show.
Yeah, I think we talked about that before. And Sheila! I hadn't seen those icons yet, no. But they are fabulous.
At least Faith did get a more multidimensional portrayal after all. Though we also have Cordelia, who is openly sexual from day one, but comes from a well-to-do family and develops from like... a mild antagonist to a hero. Of course, her sexuality does not manifest as brazenly as Faith's or Sheila's, is more couched in genteel flirt etiquette, like "pretend you're stupid" and "laugh at everything he says". And curiously enough she seems to get less flirtatious as she grows. Though, well, that might also have to do with a more limited social life.
... look, here you have me going again. :p
no subject
Date: 2014-03-12 12:19 am (UTC)Here's some of the other ones I didn't submit:
And Xin Rong - oh I almost cried by the time I was doing her set because I couldn't get any of the images right, at least to my liking. The scene is shot entirely with a red filter so it made getting a good image very hard (for me); and I felt like I was complicit in her utter obliteration. I had to get away from the computer at that point:
The scene where she tells Spike "Tell my mother...I am sorry" (not "my Watcher", not "my family", but specifically "My mother") broke my heart and gives lie to all his storytelling - he doesn't know as much as he wants buffy to think he does, or as much as he believes he does. It's a bit of truth and a lot of bullshit.
no subject
Date: 2014-03-12 12:29 am (UTC)Yeah I had to get away from the computer for a while (see previous reply) because I got too worked up emotionally - or maybe just the right amount of worked up? I should be upset by this; if I cry over the death(s) of Buffy (and Tara), I should cry over the deaths of Kendra, Nikki, and Xin Rong, or something is very wrong with me.
But that line had a lot of meaning for me in this context - as a reminder "WHO died? (A young girl drafted utterly alone into the fight)" ; "Who DIED (so that we might live)?" and "...and made YOU King?" (the death of a slayer is as feather in the cap of the vamp who kills her. The Master, Luke, Spike etc specifically seek out the Slayers (although their reasons differ), not the other way around.
There's also an implied meaning in "made you king"- the death of one girl means another will be called. So yeah, complicated - and maybe a bit too serious for an icon challenge?
And curiously enough she seems to get less flirtatious as she grows. Though, well, that might also have to do with a more limited social life.
Or with the fact that she becomes more central to the story, a hero rather than the "mean girl" we're supposed to laugh at? (After she gets fucking impaled, I couldn't laugh at her anymore. That was just gross - she wasn't even getting punished for her own sexuality but for XANDER and Willlow's? GROSS.) Once she starts to become the hero, I guess that means toning down the sex?
And then she has sex with the boy she's pretty much raised while possessed and has a mystical pregnancy and...people wonder why I haven't watched AtS. Oy.