I heard Lobo's 1972 hit "Baby, I'd Love you to Want Me" the other day for the first time in years, and something about the lyrics struck me as fitting Buffy/Spike so well, particularly from Spike's point of view:

When I saw you standing there
I about fell off my chair
When you moved your mouth to speak
I felt the blood go to my feet

Now it took time for me to know
What you tried so not to show
Something in my soul just cries
I see the want in your blue eyes

Chorus :
Baby, I'd love you
to want me
The way that I want you
The way that it should be
Baby, you'd love me to want you
The way that I want to
If you'd only let it be

And that's Spike, all right, down to a T I think Although he'd never admit to listening to Lobo or any early '70's easy listen MOR pop music, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd had a stash of the stuff hidden somewhere, like Xander and his country music, for the moments when he was drowning his sorrows over Dru or Buffy in whiskey and blood. (Hey, vampire, remember?)

And I know some fans will disagree with me, but there's something of his self-delusion here as well "If you'd only let it be" is a theme that seems to run throughout the entire series, in terms of Buffy's men: I know you better than you know yourself.  It's a sense of ownership and entitlement expressed by Angel, Riley, Giles, the WC, even Xander to a degree and, yes, Spike; all of which can be read as a metaphor for patriarchal institutions and attitudes in our culture, and each male character is affected to some degree or another.  (And, FYI - patriarchy hurts men as well as women.)  

But it's the second verse that really killed me:

You told yourself years ago
You'd never let your feelings show
The obligation that you made
For the title that they gave

I can write a thousand meta essays but there's Buffy's story and central conflict, distilled down to four lines.