She's Come Undone....

[red_satin_doll]

ETA: kikimay's beautifully and eloquently captures in words what I was hoping to say with this image (comment added with her kind permission):

"These two scenes are so meaningful. I connect them both to depression in a way. The Becoming scene seems to me the metaphorical beginning of it, the discovery of that side of your mind, and After Life is just the jumping point. And in both images Buffy seems so innocent, in the first one she's just a kid and in the second one she's dressed in white. But, even in the narrative, in both moments there's something that breaks Buffy....It's innocence shattered."






kwritten introduced me to ipiccy and clockwork_hart1 told me how to create a collage in that program, and I added the rainbow effect there, set to "darken". I wasn't satisfied with the presence of the seam between the images, or my inability to contour the images manually. I brought the image back to Photobucket, used the blemish tool to try to make the seam go away, then used the draw tool to literally "paint" over the remaining seam in a shade of blue to match what was in the image.  The font is "Princess Sofia", I liked the old-fashioned "fairy tale" quality of it, (Although Humpty Dumpty is a nursey rhyme, not a fairy tale, but you get the idea.)

comlodge taught me to make liberal use of the blending tool.  I think I have gone from "hardly ever touch it" to "full out needs an intervention for her own sake and the safety of others" blending tool addict.

Comments

[kikimay]

You can quote my comment, of course. I'm glad that I found words fitting your art.

Also yes: SHAME. It's that, it's not defeat (Or not only) she's ashamed of what she had become, which is also a perfect explanation for her inability to just speak up and tell people about her difficulties. She feels that she's responsable, I think, which is also very accurate.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Comment added, and thank you! Your words are a very fitting companion (as you yourself are.)

she's ashamed of what she had become, which is also a perfect explanation for her inability to just speak up and tell people about her difficulties. She feels that she's responsable, I think, which is also very accurate.

I wrote just a little bit about that previously: http://red-satin-doll.livejournal.com/36397.html It's a different feeling to guilt - feeling bad about who and what you are, inherently. The badness is inside of you. All the characters on the show have that to some degree actually, continually trying to be themselves and hide themselves at the same time. Wanting to be loved and accepted, terrified of being found out as unworthy or unloveable. It ties them all together but also separates them from one another.

I think Buffy bears the extra burden of being the protagonist and The Hero, so she's the caretaker of the entire world; and like a lot of caretakers she doesn't feel she can ask for help. Willow gets to go to England, Faith goes to prison; Buffy has to leave town and erase herself symbolically (Anne) or literally (the Gift) in order to "get a break" and not even death is permanent in her case.