She's Come Undone....
May. 30th, 2014 01:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
red_satin_dollETA:
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kikimay's beautifully and eloquently captures in words what I was hoping to say with this image (comment added with her kind permission):"These two scenes are so meaningful. I connect them both to depression in a way. The Becoming scene seems to me the metaphorical beginning of it, the discovery of that side of your mind, and After Life is just the jumping point. And in both images Buffy seems so innocent, in the first one she's just a kid and in the second one she's dressed in white. But, even in the narrative, in both moments there's something that breaks Buffy....It's innocence shattered."
kwritten introduced me to ipiccy and clockwork_hart1 told me how to create a collage in that program, and I added the rainbow effect there, set to "darken". I wasn't satisfied with the presence of the seam between the images, or my inability to contour the images manually. I brought the image back to Photobucket, used the blemish tool to try to make the seam go away, then used the draw tool to literally "paint" over the remaining seam in a shade of blue to match what was in the image. The font is "Princess Sofia", I liked the old-fashioned "fairy tale" quality of it, (Although Humpty Dumpty is a nursey rhyme, not a fairy tale, but you get the idea.)comlodge taught me to make liberal use of the blending tool. I think I have gone from "hardly ever touch it" to "full out needs an intervention for her own sake and the safety of others" blending tool addict.
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Date: 2014-05-30 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-30 07:49 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2014-05-30 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-30 07:34 pm (UTC)Gabrielle
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Date: 2014-05-30 07:41 pm (UTC)I made other variations of this in sepia, pastel, more realistic etc but this ended up being my favorite. I love the colors too.
Signing up for these icon challenges and the 20in20 has pushed me to try new techniques and get better. I'm dying to try some of the things I'm learning to do on Willow & vamp willow imagery.
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Date: 2014-05-30 07:44 pm (UTC)Gabrielle
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Date: 2014-05-30 07:47 pm (UTC)I did a couple of Willow icons for the last round of btvs_hush (Becoming) and they were fun to play with but I already know I can do something so much more interesting now.
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Date: 2014-05-30 08:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-30 10:20 pm (UTC)Full disclosure: I don't think I've ever heard that song before. Maybe I've heard of that band. (Um, I listen to Matt Kearney and Mumford Brothers on itunes, so maybe I've heard them and don't know it?) I'll have to look up the lyrics, thanks!
mostly because it's how Buffy manages to keep on keeping on even though she's so broken up.
That's our hero. People who want a perfect prim and proper cardboard cutout heroine? The Hallmark card store is thataway...
If you ever wanted to make a Buffy(verse) vid to Marina and the Diamonds' "I am not a robot" or
"Numb" I would not object.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_oMD6-6q5Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylLpplWSrNk
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Date: 2014-05-31 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-31 11:21 am (UTC)Have you ever posted your "Buffy playlist"? because I would find that interesting. (Probably some songs we could pick out vidding ideas for.)
Ooh, it just occured to me this image could be the album cover. Do you remember albums or was that before your time? Loved looking at the cover art, reading the lyrics, etc. CD's don't give the same sort of pleasure, there's some lovely art but it's so damn tiny by comparison. (Think of Sarah Maclaghan's Surfacing, for instance - gorgeous imagery, it should have been album-size art to be appreciated.)
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Date: 2014-05-30 08:22 pm (UTC)These two scenes are so meaningful. I connect them both to depression in a way. The Becoming scene seems to me the metaphorical beginning of it, the discover of that side of your mind, and Afterlife is just the jumping point. And in both images Buffy seems so innocent, in the first one she's really just a kid and in the second one she's dressed in white. But, even in the narrative, in both moments there's something that breaks Buffy and you captured it so well. The coloring is almost violent and Buffy has the same defeated expression. Plus the fairytale-like font is perfect. It's innocence shattered. So beautiful.
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Date: 2014-05-30 08:32 pm (UTC)I am occasionally callous and strange...
It's innocence shattered. So beautiful.
May I add this entire paragraph to the post and quote you? because THIS is exactly what I was going for. Your words are perfect. Brava.
I almost did one where she's looking at herself in the mirror in both episodes, but it's these two images - her expression of SHAME - that resonates with me the most.
I connect them both to depression in a way. The Becoming scene seems to me the metaphorical beginning of it, the discover of that side of your mind
Exactly. And we see it briefly in Welcome to the Hellmouth ("Go ahead, prepare me!") There's never a time it wasn't there; it's the subtext of the entire show, not just season 6. Buffy's story is largely about surviving and overcoming trauma, putting one foot in front of the other every day.
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Date: 2014-05-30 08:57 pm (UTC)Also yes: SHAME. It's that, it's not defeat (Or not only) she's ashamed of what she had become, which is also a perfect explanation for her inability to just speak up and tell people about her difficulties. She feels that she's responsable, I think, which is also very accurate.
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Date: 2014-05-30 10:35 pm (UTC)she's ashamed of what she had become, which is also a perfect explanation for her inability to just speak up and tell people about her difficulties. She feels that she's responsable, I think, which is also very accurate.
I wrote just a little bit about that previously: http://red-satin-doll.livejournal.com/36397.html It's a different feeling to guilt - feeling bad about who and what you are, inherently. The badness is inside of you. All the characters on the show have that to some degree actually, continually trying to be themselves and hide themselves at the same time. Wanting to be loved and accepted, terrified of being found out as unworthy or unloveable. It ties them all together but also separates them from one another.
I think Buffy bears the extra burden of being the protagonist and The Hero, so she's the caretaker of the entire world; and like a lot of caretakers she doesn't feel she can ask for help. Willow gets to go to England, Faith goes to prison; Buffy has to leave town and erase herself symbolically (Anne) or literally (the Gift) in order to "get a break" and not even death is permanent in her case.
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Date: 2014-05-30 10:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-30 10:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-31 03:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-31 11:36 am (UTC)I have been wanting to put these two images together in a fanart or a picspam forever because for me they are two of the most important images in the series. The little girl in both of them is one and the same.
I'm really happy with how this came out although I have a lot of improving to do to. Miles to go, and all that jazz.
Friday May 30, 2014
Date: 2014-05-31 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-31 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-31 11:47 am (UTC)I really want to get better, that's my goal. I'm finally realizing that practicing constantly AND letting it out to be seen is part of that process.
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Date: 2014-06-01 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-06-01 08:30 pm (UTC)And hugs for Buffy are always of the good here in my corner of fandom - many, many hugs!