I'LL BE A VERY BUSY BEAVER THE NEXT TWO WEEKS, BUT IN THE MEANTIME - A FLUFFY STORY

[red_satin_doll]

Tomorrow my sweetie and I are going to NYC - she wants to see the 100th Armory Show on the Westside; stay two nights at the Pod 39 Hotel; then we'll hopefully go to Chinatown, and then Friday spend the day at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. including the Elizabeth Sackler Gallery of Feminist Art on the 4th floor featuring Judy Chicago's installation The Dinner Party (1982) which I've always wanted to see. (Never mind the concept of a separate gallery for "feminist" art as opposed to the presumably "regular" art. Baby steps, baby steps, bitty blah.)  I wll have many things to report, hopefully.

Then when I come back we are packing and (supposedly) moving back into the old apartment; the renovation is nearly done!  We saw it the other day - my sweetie's bedroom has been totally redone, new walls, flooring, windows, new moldings everywhere, paint and light fixtures, etc. they even took up two layers of ugly old linoleum and black glue in the kitchen to expose the original wood flooring. Beautiful job.

Which also means we'll finally be getting away from the people below us in the apartment we're in now and its worth anything just for that because SWEET MOTHER OF MOSES THESE PEOPLE DO NOT SHUT UP EVER. *ugh*

Ergo, if I don't get back to you anytime immediately or post a lot the next couple of weeks, you know why. I'll try to keep up with the macros, icons and suchlike - that shouldn't be hard, I've got 600 or so buffyverse icons sitting in my Photobucket. No lie.

In the meantime, eilowyn said not long ago that she loved "fluffy stories" about my sweetie and I; which of course meant I stopped telling them. ("But - we're not fluffy people, we argue a lot!" my brain protested.) Just like when someone paid for me to have a free account and velvetwhip said she looked forward to a "tsunami of polls" and I said "Me too!"  And then have done maybe two since then. Or when my mom asked "What do you want for Christmas?" and I said "I don't know." EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I absolutely shut down. (My sweetie gets the same damn answer to the same question btw. My brain hasn't changed in 40-plus years.)

But last week we were in one of those big-box retail stores, the kind we drag ourselves into because we really need something and even then only upon pain of death, and I told her I felt a little light-headed. I think y'all know I have epilepsy and it's pretty well controlled on medication but those sorts of stores are not good for me: too brightly light, buzzing light fixtures, too much noise, too much sensory overload, etc.

So I said to my sweetie "Keep talking."

"Oh NO, don't you go letting your mind wander off!" (Having a seizure feels at first like you're going into a spell or trance, like a daydream.)

"That's why I need you to keep talking, because it helps ground me and keep focused on where I am. We talk, you annoy the hell out of me, I want to strangle you, it keeps me grounded. See how that works?"

She laughed.

And all I could think right was how much I love this woman, and how lucky was (am) to have her in my life after all these years.

Which is a good thing, because an hour or so later we wanted to strangle each other again.

Love isn't ribbons and bows, kids.

Comments

[clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com]

Yep, it was just the one - it scared the shit out of me. I remember sitting down in stunned silence for half an hour afterwards before calling my Mum trying to explain what had happened. I'm pretty sure it was a freak side-effect to my migraines (mine are caused by a problem in the pituitary gland, and are similar to siezures and I used to have to take epilepsy pills for them).

And I don't think anyone really has it easy in relationships, no matter how happy they seem. If the fighting still allows you to work things out and feel happy and loved it can't be too bad. Life's never so pleasant anyway.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure it was a freak side-effect to my migraines (mine are caused by a problem in the pituitary gland, and are similar to siezures and I used to have to take epilepsy pills for them).

Oh that makes a great deal of sense. And I can imagine how difficult it must have been to describe - I have a great deal of trouble still; and when I first began having them at age 11 it took my mother several tries to find a doctor who didn't say "there's nothing wrong with your child" and then find one who gave the right medication.

I'm just glad you didn't get seriously hurt. I've fallen, hit my head, bitten my tongue (the edge, you can't actually bite it off).

Oh, fun fact! the meds I take (dilantin) was first developed as an anti-depressant and the anti-spasmodic (anti-seizure) effect was discovered only by accident. Given that I have been fighting depression for years it obviously doesn't work too good for that.

Given that it was given to Richard Nixon for depression - didn't work to good for him, either apparently.

And I don't think anyone really has it easy in relationships, no matter how happy they seem.

IDK, I used to think that, but I've since met couples who seem genuinely content in their relationship. I do think it's possible - not perfection, but just contentment with themselves and each other. Then I've also met folks who seem happy on the surface and do such a good job of acting until it all falls apart.

I remember the other night we were fighting like anything - she will regularly say "we should break up!" (we've never done so) - and then an hour later kissing each other good night like we hadn't argued at all. That's pretty much us, in a nutshell.

[clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com]

I was fairly bruised on the whole left side of my body - it hurt to wear a bra for week and I looked like I'd been in a bar fight, but nothing serious.

I've taken everything for migraines - epilepsy pills, anti-psychosis and anti-depressants and none of them worked. And given that the anti-depressants didn't help my depression either, that was a double fail. No depression meds have ever helped me either.

And I'm not saying that people can't be content, but I certainly don't think anything is half as easy as people like to think (or make out). And your relationship sounds like me and my friends - but without the making out...mostly - me and my best friend are fairly vitrolic and sometimes I think we out-right hate each other. The funny thing is the rest of our friendship group are split down the middle about the fact that some thing one day we'll kill each other and the rest (very vocally) think we're going to fall into bed - which is a little creepy, but there you go.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Oh ouch - I've been very very sore all over my body after a seizure after falling down. One time I had a seizure at my office desk, my body slammed forward into the desk and the desk cut my forehead, then the chair rolled backward at the same time and dropped me on the floor.

And my coworkers got to see it. Fun.

That was also the first time I lost bladder control during a seizure. NOT FUN.

And your relationship sounds like me and my friends - but without the making out.

Oh honey PLEASE - my sweetie's been in menopause for years. Zero libido + hip replacements and back pain = I can remember the last time we "made out". Lesbian bed death for realz.