red_satin_doll: (Smile)
1) Thanking: My personal Miss Psycho Pep Squad [livejournal.com profile] velvetwhip. For reasons. For everything.


Everyone who has helped me learn how to improve my art skillz: [livejournal.com profile] chasingdemons and [livejournal.com profile] comlodge, [livejournal.com profile] spikesredqueen, [livejournal.com profile] rua1412, [livejournal.com profile] eilowyn, and [livejournal.com profile] kwritten for introducing me to ipiccy in the first place. (If I've forgotten anyone please forgive me.) Ok, I did some thankin' yesterday but it bears repeating. The sheer GENEROSITY of folks in this fandom is overwhelming. My real life has been all kinds of suckitude; being here on LJ, diving into making art (aka keeping myself distracted) has been my bliss.Comlodge, [livejournal.com profile] debris4spike, and Chasingdemons all checked out ipiccy to make comparisons with gimp/PS and give me their reactions.

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2) Pimpage happens here: My homegirl [livejournal.com profile] eilowyn made me an incredible gift: a Buffy Summers fanmix, with musical tracks by Coldplay, Florence Welch, Imogene Heap, Regina Spektor, Metric and more;  with incredible "album cover" art. I'm listening to it right now for the umpteenth time - Rilo Kiley's heartbreaker "A Better Son/Daughter" as a matter of fact. Perfect song for Buffy - keep fighting, keep smiling, keep hauling that load even if it kills you (and it certainly will). The entire mix is everything Buffy is - brave, frightened, loving, determined, uncertain, strong  -  everything all of us are: human. (Speaking of, "Human" by the Cinematics puts me in mind of Spike, actually, but that may be partly because of the lead male vocals. "I've been breaking my back with the weight of your heart." Break my heart now, why don'cha?) I'm not sure what I did to deserve such a wonderful gif but I'm grateful - and already addicted to it.


**

[livejournal.com profile] clockwork_hart1's "Conclusive Etymology of a Summers" is a lovely and tender portrait of Buffy's relationship with language beyond my ability to do justice with my own words: her wit, her stubborness, her intelligence, her hope; her silence in response to the fears that grip her heart.  This story completely owns my heart, so here's a piece of mine: my first fanfiction poster.


Etymology version 1 (Lucy's favorite)



I am so happy with how this came out. SO happy and proud. As in, close-to-tears-happy. I didn't plan it in advance, it snuck up me while I was working on something else, and just came together with hardly any effort. That's the way it always seems to be. I'm wrestling with fear, self-doubt and sense of failure in my RL, but - I can do this now. I can do this.


[livejournal.com profile] pickamix generously offered suggestions for a more slender font style, which I tried to replicate here;  I love both variations.


Go read Lucy's fic, it's beyond wonderful. Then check out her multi-fandom icons and her other fics, including the delightful Buffyverse/Whoverse crossovers: the sensual "Teaching the Stars how to Set Themselves on Fire" (Dawn/Amy Pond); two Buffy/River Song fics, the funny/sexy "Straight on 'til Morning" and the answer to my request for "more, please" with it's prequel: "Greet Me with Nights and Summer"; Buffy/River Song plus wise, wry Dawn, slightly-befuddled Faith, a shout-out to Tara, badass women with swords and an apocalypse-y setting.  What more could I desire?

**
[livejournal.com profile] kikimay's fics and fanvideo: The epilogue to her post-series Fuffy fic Eros which is incredibly sweet and has a lovely Buffy/Giles scene. Fluffy Fuffy can be hard to get right, but if you've been reading along, Kiki makes sure it's well-earned. Our beloved Slayers deserve a little happiness, oui? (the entire story is rated NC-17 but this chapter is safely teen and up.) Her second fan video, "Bad Habit" takes on a serious subject: the ways that the Buffyverse women punish themselves and "self-mutilate" either literally or symbolically. It's been a while since I've seen a truly meta buffy fanvid that engaged larger social and psychological issues. She says she has plans to make a third video, inspired by "Conclusive Etymology of a Summers". I approve of this plan.

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[livejournal.com profile] beer_good_foamy's latest btvs S6 fic, "Building Character" (thank you [livejournal.com profile] kikimay!) that rewrites S6 and Buffy's resurrection in a way that is probably more realistic - and subtly horrifying, or at least extremely ambiguous - than canon. It also builds on a series-wide subtext that becomes text in S5 - the "constructed" or created individual, the "doll" (shades of the Buffybot, April and Dawn). The gang tries to put Buffy together again, however much they think they "know" her, how much is unknown and left blank?
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Don't forget to vote at [livejournal.com profile] slayerstillness Challenge 27, Hair Porn; deadline is midnight tonight, the 8th, in your time zone.  And check out the beautiful [livejournal.com profile] btvsats20in20 entries for two Season 5 episodes by [livejournal.com profile] starry_night[livejournal.com profile] starry_night (Intervention) and [livejournal.com profile] iconsoleander (The Body). Deadline for Round 2 entries is tomorrow, and I'll be able to start my entry post as soon as I get this post up. (The word "gulp" comes to mind.)

**

3) Finally, Wishing [livejournal.com profile] spuffy_luvr a belated Happy Birthday (July 1st.)  She hasn't been active in fandom since last fall, as far as I can tell, so I am also remiss in not dropping her a line because I miss her presence, the conversations and rants about: Spuffy canon vs fanon, fandom, politics, pretty much anything and everything - she brings intelligent, wit, and an independent, iconoclastic, no-nonsense attitude to everything in her sights. And the fic: she's known for her long Spuffy works but excels also at funny, sexy, tender Spuffy ficlets in which both partners in the 'ship are treated with affection and respect. The "it could have been canon" series she wrote for [livejournal.com profile] sb_fag_ends in October is all kinds of wonderful, and includes meta as well as fic. "No Earthly Remains" is something of a departure, focusing on Willow, Faith and Buffy post-Chosen; it stands next to [livejournal.com profile] kwritten's "You're Here, Too?" (Buffy, Anya, Willow) as one of my favorite fics dealing with the friendships of btvs' women, and Buffy's trauma and grief after the fall of Sunnyhell.

ETA: "Conciusive Etymology" poster Nominee for Best Banner in Wicked Awards Round 11:   buffy2

A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend: It goes without saying but just in case: "Don't even think about stealing or defacing my artwork or ye will be plagued by boils and all manner of afflictions".  The Miss Psycho Pep Squad icon is totally snaggable however. Have a nice day!

red_satin_doll: (BTVS Buffy/Faith)
Thank you to the moderators at [livejournal.com profile] slayerstillness for giving me my very first award for an icon in Challenge #18 "Faith Lehane" ! Kudos to all the winners in this round : [livejournal.com profile] iconsoleander, [livejournal.com profile] spikesredqueen and [livejournal.com profile] delta_dawn_rose - but all the submissions were creative and wonderful, so please go check them out if you haven't had the chance already.

And to make it even sweeter, [livejournal.com profile] comlodge made the gorgeous banners:

Mods Choice: "I love the idea of this one – very creatively done. And I love how the lighting draws your focus right to her face."

The irony is that that had nothing to do with me; the shot was already beautiful. My favorite icons of those I've made, like this one, are generally the simplest. All I had to do was carefully bump up brightness, contrast and saturation; pick the right font, and add the frame. There's the irony of course in that it's the one submission I sent in which we're actually looking at Faith in Buffy's body, so the face we see is Sarah's, not Eliza's - but it's still the character of Faith, in what may be the turning point of her entire arc.  (And is one of the most superb performances I've ever seen on television - can we take a moment to celebrate Sarah's intensity in that episode?)

Here are all five of my entries; the numbers beside them are the numbers assigned in the challenge voting (not in numerical order).

26) 13)  19)

25)     8)
As per usual for me lately, I began this batch making icons that were fun, risque. or innocuous, (#8, 25) and then moved into darker territory. If I were to do it again I'd leave off 8 & 25, although 25 amuses me.

I think #26 was the best of the five I submitted, especially in terms of lighting and composition.  Photobucket's "Covered by Your Grace" font has a somewhat "handwritten" look to it and often works well when the overall mood is one of intimacy, introspection, melancholy, sadness, etc. For the same reasons I like the "torn paper frame" of 26 & 13; it emphasizes for me a sense of things "bleeding in (or bleeding out)" of each other, of something incomplete,unstable, fissuring or merging; of things damaged but not entirely broken, and the strange beauty of imperfection.

Which is what the episodes "This Years Girl" and "Who are You" are about.

I've been fascinated by the parallels between Buffy, Faith and Buffy, Spike ever since I first saw [livejournal.com profile] bradcpu's classic fan video on the subject, "Creep" (See the bottom of this post for more links.)

Ten years ago [livejournal.com profile] the_royal_anna called Buffy and Spike in S6 "the most mesmerizing illustration" of the concept of "identity hiijack", but This Years Girl / Who are You essentially "foreshadow" nearly the entirety of S6 in two episodes. It's the definitive moment when Faith "hands off" her role as Buffy's primary dark mirror to Spike, so that she can move to AtS and continue her arc away from BtVS. There's the twin images of Faith and Buffy digging themselves out of their own graves, the sense of "victimization" each must overcome; mental instability and the damage that being "a killer" does to the soul; the direction of Buffy and Spike's relationship and the dark, tormented sexuality, so different from the light-hearted satirical version of Something Blue; the lie behind the dichotomies of "good/bad, dark/light" enforced by those in power (as represented by the WC).

Even the key role Tara plays in both as the outsider, as "the heart"  and "the one who sees" (literally and figuratively as a "seer" and as one who bears witness) is highlighted in both WAY and DT and deserves a separate essay of it's own.

It's also an episode that calls both backwards and forwards: to Faith's words "If you kill me, you become me - and you're not ready for that" in S3's "Enemies", and forward to Spike's "I know you felt me...when I was inside you."  When Faith steals Buffy's body she literally "gets inside" Buffy in ways even Spike can't begin to imagine. (No one else comes close except when Willow goes inside Buffy's head in The Weight of the World".)

I tried using a portion of the line from Enemies; "You become me" works beautifully when talking about Who are You; but I don't think it really comes across the way I'd intended it to visually.


1) 2) 3)  4 ) 5)  6) 7)

The sentence from Seeing Red actually works much better and is more powerful; but I used it with trepidation. I worried that using it would be too traumatic for some folks - looking up the actual dialogue on the Buffyworld transcript was hard enough for me as it was, but I got the wording wrong on my first effort, #14 below (I've watched that episode once and one time only, thank you very much.) Cutting the sentence in half, rather than using the entire line in a single icon, seemed to help "abstract" it slightly, remove it just enough from it's original context that it was easier for me to work with it here.


9) 10) 11) 12)   14)

The relationships are steeped in violence, misunderstanding, dysfunction and self-hatred - and yet, unbelievably, they manage to rise above it all and come to a state of grace with each other in Season 7. Buffy handing the Scythe to Faith in Chosen isn't as romantic, dramatic or as celebrated as her spiritual handfasting with Spike; but in the context of their history it represent a sea change in their relationship: a level of genuine forgiveness, trust and faith (pun intended) exists between them that never has before. Getting to that point was a long, hard-fought road:


15) 16)  17)

The other line of Spike's dialogue I borrowed is from "The Gift": "I made a promise to a lady."  He's talking to Doc on top of Glory's tower about his promise to Buffy to protect Dawn "until the end of the world"; I often associate that line with Buffy's own promise to Joyce in Listening to Fear. But here I applied it to another "promise", albeit unspoken: Faith's wordless response to Buffy's "Don't - be afraid to lead them" in Empty Places. I was inspired by [livejournal.com profile] blackfrancine's 2010 comment on the nature Buffy and Faith's expressions of love:


I think Buffy's way of nurturing (ie of loving) is to protect. To play mama bear to the helpless cubs of Sunnydale. So of course the Slayer's primary love language is to perform acts of service. Her whole life (and death) is about service. And it makes sense that it becomes her main way of understanding and expressing love (or maybe service always IS her love language--even before she is called. I could see this being a feature that binds Slayers--that they understand love through service. Because I'd argue that this is how Faith expresses love as well). So, through her slaying duties, Buffy (and maybe all slayers) expresses her love for their fellow man. [emphasis mine]

In S3, Faith is bound to the Mayor, her surrogate father-figure, by her assignments for him. When Buffy reluctantly advises Faith to lead the Potentials, it's entirely clear to me from Faith's demeanor that she listens and accepts her (symbolic) "grandsire's" words with all due seriousness. Handing off leadership to Faith is mostly an act of necessity and seems like a small thing, but in the context of their relationship it's absolutely seismic. Faith doesn't say a word but her intention is clear in her demeanor, her silence, in the fact that she is truly listening - something the two of them stopped doing with one another years ago. She made a "promise to a lady" and it's one she'll keep to the best of her ability.

I wanted to send #16 above because it was the only icon I'd made that had a close-up of Eliza's face, but I felt that it didn't "tell the story" in this context as well as image of Faith and Buffy together on the porch (15, 19).




This award is a particular honor for me because the quality of the icons submitted to past [livejournal.com profile] slayerstillness challenges, technically and aesthetically, is consistently very high and represents some of the best examples of icons as works of art currently in this fandom. The editing suite I have in Photobucket is very simple and limited so I can't do the gorgeous effects and layering I see there. I wasn't as pleased as I was with the batch I made for the last [livejournal.com profile] otherworldlyric icon challenge. I focused on Buffy and Faith rather than Faith exclusively. Plus I made these so last minute I didn't have time to ask [livejournal.com profile] wickedbish for his advice as a beta. I honestly didn't think I had a shot at winning anything - and you'd be surprised how that takes the edge of anticipation off!

You know the cliche that if you want something you're supposed to visualize having or achieving it first in order to "manifest it in your life"? Well sometimes there is something to be said for thinking the opposite, or trying to practice "non-attachment" one way or the other, then being completely surprised and delighted when it does happen to come your way.
(Maybe I need to look into Buddism as a practice? *ponders*)

Here's the remaining icons from that set that I didn't submit, in no particular order of anything whatsoever. As always, snag 'em if you love 'em but please give proper credit to the artist. 'tis the polite thing to do.

18) 20) 21) 22)

23) 24)27) 28)
And here are some links to some of my favorite Buffy and Faith, or Fuffy, fanfics and fanvids for your enjoyment - just the tip of the proverbial iceberg:
VIDEOS:
"Creep" by [livejournal.com profile] bradcpu (downloadable zipped Xvid and WMV formats) is THE classic Buffy, Faith, Spike meta-video.
"Your Power is Rooted in Darkness" by Afterthebattle (YouTube) focuses on the Buffy & Faith parallels with Spike as a supporting player.
"We Must Be Killers" by jess9191 (YouTube) The first great fanvid of the year? It's already on my list for next January's Buffyverse Top 5.
"Who Are You, Really?: Episodic" by xxIrisHalox  (YouTube) My favorite fanvid take on "Who Are You?" pairs brilliantly with my favorite WAY fanfic:

FICS:
"Who Am I? (The Warm Champagne Remix)" (DW) by [livejournal.com profile] snowpuppies. (Buffy, Faith, Spike; Faith/Spike, implied Buffy/Faith) Superb, as always. Put this on your list for the next round of fanfic awards, please.
"Zen and the Art of Stake Maintenance" and "Of History" (AO3) by m_phoenix. Delicately haunting Season 7 AU and post-series Fuffy angst, respectively, both Buffy-POV. "Zen" fits canon astonishingly well; "Of History" is a masterclass in how to write in 2nd-person POV, as well as how to tackle adult sexuality and consent issues sensitively. (Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] oni_9's rec on the most recent edition of the [livejournal.com profile] su_herald.)

Finally, after all that angst, some fun and adventure are in order: try "The Girls In Question" fic series on AO3 by the wife-wife team of TigerDragon. The post-series installments "Reentry", "Investigations" and "Women, Fire, And Other Dangerous Things" read like a genuine "Season 8" - funny, exciting, a little angsty  - if it had been written as female-centric Fuffy, with Dawn, Willow, fascinating OC multi-ethnic Slayers, and female villains who are a VERY dark mirror of Buffy and Faith, for the ride.
red_satin_doll: (Chosen One - purple)
Posting my top 5 fanvid recs list in this round of TBT5 ended up being more challenging than I thought it would be! For one thing, [livejournal.com profile] endeni and [livejournal.com profile] petzipellepingo both rec'd two vids I had on my list ( here and here respectively); just yesterday I wished that more people would post non-fic rec lists. I gotta be careful what I wish for!

Also, my post honestly took me half the day to complete; I'd probably be a lot faster if I actually wrote out a list beforehand, maybe? (Like that'll happen.)  If I'd been faster and included all the ones I'd intended to I might have been able to put up another 5 vids; I may be able to find a couple more because the mods are strict on the 5 recs per post rule, and there's a couple of vids I hate to leave off, including Kayennatic's elegant and mournful Buffy character study, "O 'Death" .

Anyway only about four people, myself included have put up rec lists so far  - [livejournal.com profile] velvetwhip has 5 favorite Willow fics - so there's plenty of room for participation. The more the merrier, come join the party!
red_satin_doll: (Chosen One - purple)
So here's the sequence of events (and there will be a pop quiz later, so pay attention please):

1) [livejournal.com profile] clockwork_hart1 asked for fic requests in order to occupy herself whilst in the hospital. I asked for a Buffy & Tara friendship fic. She responded with "Talk to Me (That's What Friends Are For)" . In case you missed my pimpage the other day it's a "missing scene" that takes the dross of one of the mind-bogglingly worst episodes in the series, "As You Were" and spins pure gold from it. Buffy goes to Tara after the credits roll and offer each other compassion, kindness, and gentle understanding, punctuated by tears and laughter. The story also makes explicit a point that, like every other connection between them, is underplayed and overlooked: Both Tara and Buffy have, at some point in the series, believed themselves to literally be "demons", to be "wrong" at their very being and been scarred by that belief. (And [livejournal.com profile] clockwork_hart1 wrote this while recovering in the hospital, people. R-E-S-P-E-C-T!)

2) [livejournal.com profile] comlodge read the story and created a gorgeous Buffy and Tara friendship banner for it. There's something in the delicate coloring that emphasizes the emotional fragility of the characters, even as the text from the Burt Bacharach/Carol Sager song assures us of the strength of their bond. She used one of the screencaps from that last scene in Dead Things of Buffy and Tara in Buffy's living room. (You know that scene, right? The one that smashes my heart into tiny pieces no matter how many times I watch it, and is one of the reasons Dead Things was the very first ep I had to watch when I finally got internet in my new apartment?) [livejournal.com profile] comlodge is known and loved mostly for her Spike fanart but every time she turns her attention to other characters in the 'verse she knocks it out of the park.

ETA: And she did another Buffy & Tara banner just before that I only just now saw - same scene, but the moment where Buffy's head is in Tara's lap, sobbing "Please don't forgive me." Very different tonal feel from one banner to the other; both of them equally gorgeous. It's not who she's sleeping with that is, at heart, the issue here IMO; it's her shame and guilt regarding her own behavior. (And has anyone else noticed that Joyce's photograph is next to Tara in that scene btw?) Imagine that she's sleeping with Xander; or random strangers off the street and the scene plays exactly the same way.

MORE, PLEASE. I have to say that all these "presents" and creativity, one idea leading to another, a work in one medium inspiring another and who knows what either one will inspire in turn? This is one of the finest aspects of fandom - of this fandom in particular.  Also of interest to me if nobody else: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] clockwork_hart1 I have been a beta for the first time ever in Buffyverse fandom. That's a present (to me) in and of itself.

SO NOW I'M GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER REQUEST: A BUFFY and TARA FANVID. Something that emphasizes the parallels between them. Or one that focuses on Tara's role in the Buffyverse outside of W/T: sister, friend, mother-figure; the stranger who truly "sees" (Who are You); the bridge between Buffy's symbolic sisters (Willow and Tara) and her literal sister (Dawn), who replaces Faith as the "harbinger of Dawn" (Restless); the girls marked out as "different, demonic" and carry that shame within themselves; and so forth. I can provide the meta ideas, if need be.

Anyone want to take me up on it? 

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