red_satin_doll

The only theme for Round 5 of

btvsats20in20 is "Rainbow" and we were given a lot of latitude in terms of how were were allowed to interpret it. As much as I love rich jewel-toned colors I went rather muted with these (in contrast to my Round 4 entries.) There was no real organizing principle beyond that. I enjoyed working in a wide range of styles and trying my hand at new techniques, from simple crops to complicated blends.

1	2	3	4	5

6	7	8	9	10

11	12	13	14	15

16	17	18	19	20

*********************************

As I am running behind with this post (apologies to

starry_night and the other artists who got their work in on time), alts and extras will be posted separately. (And I have many, trust.)

(FYI: The two Willow icons are my favorites of the Willow/Vamp Willow icons I made. I should have made these all Buffy for continuity but I loved #1 & 4 just too damn much not to include them here. I wish I had really planned this better from the get-go and included more Buffyverse women.)

But first a word from our sponsor: voting in Round 4 of btvsats20in20 closes tomorrow October 9th so vote now if you haven't and tell your friends - bang the drum for gorgeous icons at a great, fun community. They deserve to be seen and appreciated.

Two recent Buffy/Tara fics by

kwritten reminded me that I'd yet to post the alts and extras from my Tara claim for Round 3 of

btvsats20in20.

"Her Bark is Worse Than Her Bite" : AU S6/S7 (Buffy/Tara, Dawn) to fill my prompt "thunder/courage" and request for a flawed, human Tara. The monotonous weight as well as the comforts of "domesticity" and "women's work", of school, slaying, housework, of incomes and emotions stretched thin. Buffy tries to be there for Tara and Dawn and hold her family together in a fragile moment. "You hung the moon in the sky just for her."

"Finding a Balance" : AU S4, (Buffy/Tara, mentions of ensemble) Buffy tries to hold herself together in college, alone, when her friends go off to far-flung corners, and meets the person who can give her what she needs. And a girl with large brown eyes and soft blonde hair sits down next to her with a crooked smile and a latte, “I think you’re freaking everyone out.” This isn't intended as a prologue to Kelsey's "blurring the lines" series, but it fits that series beautifully but for one small change in previous BtL canon. Just the "rewrite" of Hush is achingly gorgeous, as is this entire story.

This is the fic that finally pushed me from "Buffy & Tara are my One True Friendship I don't really ship them but I'll take what I can get all the way into "Buffy and Tara are my OTP I want to live in this world right now". And also, fix-it fics? I think I get it now, really get it; even if the things you and I want to fix are entirely different to one another. A 'verse where Buffy has a reliable source of support and love instead of fragile male egos to shore up even as her own self-esteem slowly crumbles? Riley who? Total fantasy. Of course it's seductive - and I want to live in it, if it's as beautiful, poetic, gossamer and densely layered as Kelsey's fics. Who doesn't want that for themselves?

Kelsey posted this around the time the marvelous

velvetwhip wrote "The Things You Find in Vending Machines" for me (S4 Buffy, Tara, gen); very different stories to Finding a Balance but both wonderfully true to the complexities of Buffy and Tara's personalities, and to Season 4's particular blend of humor and darkness. But I promised some artwork, and artwork you shall have:

01-02 Click for full-sized

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Teasers for more posters and icons under the cut:

03-04 Click for full-sized

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This isn't the full set of alts but it's most of the posters/banners. But these images were the focus of my category set: Tara as the One Who Gives Comfort, specifically to other women: Buffy, Anya and Willow. However I worried when I was done with my entries that I was falling into the trap I deplore, turning Tara into a stereotypical, all-knowing all-giving saint, the epitome of our cultural ideas about "femininity". Which is why I often ask for fic that depict Tara in a different light - flawed and fully human; the girl as capable of putting the lives at others at risk to protect herself (Family) as sacrificing her own life for the sake of a loved one (Tough Love). It's not that she doesn't have her failings on the show but they're downplayed; and in terms of receiving comfort from others, I have to turn to fan authors because the imagery is decidedly lacking. In

kwritten's stories, I get to have it both ways: Tara as one who gives and receives; and Buffy/Tara + Dawn OTF is pure comfort food for me right now.

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05-06 Click for full size

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07-09
These OTOH are already full-size, pretty much.

10-15

When I made these for Round 3 I was so thrilled because prior to, the best icons I'd been able to get from that scene in Dead Things were these (2013):

That scene and that image in particular is so dark, in ways that aren't apparent watching the show; and not deeply, intensely dark in the way that some early seasons episodes are, ("Amends") where you can bump up the exposure and still get a nice image; but muted and flat. The only way I could figure out how to get something workable at that point, with my beginner knowledge of ipiccy, was to mask the image around the girls out (something else I was trying to teach myself that round.) Then add grunge effects to in effect go with the images flaws rather than try to fight against them.

Now? I am still marveling at the journey taken ~~and not just seeing all the flaws and how much further to go~~ ooh look, pretties!

16-21

When I look at these the phrase "it's always sudden" takes on another layer of meaning: suddenly and unexpectedly finding a friend, a source of comfort and experience. Then I remember the sound of gunshots and breaking glass a year down the road. It's always sudden.

22-28

29-33
The Tough Love icons in chronological order as they were made. I used a photograph my sweetie took this past year for the background layer on #33 and my final Fear entry; I wanted to emphasize the strength and nobility, the sculptural timelessness and monumental quality of Amber's face.

34-38

39-44

I'd orignally planned the Dead Things icon for my Category set, so I decided to use grunge effects in the other four icons for continuity and the meta reasoning that I was creating "artifacts" of lesbians and lesbian life, of the sort I'd never seen in decades of watching old movies, combing through dusty libraries, and collecting vintage photosgraphs in antique stores. (#42) Except that idea sort of fell apart with these Willow/Tara images from the Body where I wanted to indulge in the soft glowing light between them, the way their skin looked like silk or carved of ivory. I fell a little in love with them all over again making these. I even considered making this scene the entire focus of my Category set and that might have worked better than what I settled on; there are certainly enough screencaps of Amber in that scene that I could have made it work. But I was too attached to the Buffy & Tara icons I'd already made.

Then I moved the Dead Things icon to Full Body theme instead of Category. My ways are inscrutable.

45-48

I really wanted to include that lovely image of Tara comforting Anya in my Category set; she is beyond lovely in it. But that icon was really so much darker than the other ones I used from The Body, so it works on its own but as part of the set not so much I think. Yes, that is the photograph of the trees in my backyard in #46 - again.

49-50
This is the last time I will ever attempt to use that photo of my landlord's rose as a layer in anything. Probably. (Maybe.) These don't quite work as I'd hoped but I do like the resemblance to the incised metal printing plates that you still might find in antique stores now and again.

You do know the drill, don't you? All snaggable, feedback is lovely, don't plagarize, hotlink or put on fanpop or other sites without my permission; want to change, edit, improve or play with any of these just check with me and show me what you've done.

But first a gentle reminders to icon fans: Sign ups for Round 4 of

btvsats20in20 are happening here and now ...but don't forget that sign ups are open the ENTIRE round.

Last round the winner was...me. I pushed myself to learn some new-to-me techniques, most importantly vector masks (aka cutting around objects - and it should NOT be this hard someday I will download gimp I swear) to create some icons and banners/posters I'm really proud of *point to Dead Things icon*. And because of what I learned, I finally had the courage to create artwork this week for

velvetwhip's beautiful, tragic Mr Gordo fic "Soft and Pink and Very Sad".

When I think of the story, the phrase that comes to mind is "silent scream." Who would have imagined that sadness, confusion, despair, abject helplessness and rage could all be expressed so vividly in the person of Buffy's beloved stuffed pig?

Click on the banner below for a direct link to Gabrielle's marvelous story.

gabriellea46c96d2-0747-46d3-89e6-ff79d52472b3_zpsbdd22225

The idea came to me a couple of months ago but I didn't know how to execute it. I always wanted to have the ghost image of Buffy from that final shot of The Gift merging with Mr Gordo in the lower-right corner. I had originally planned to have a faded image of a younger Buffy holding Mr Gordo or at least looking down, on the left of the picture' but it turns out Buffy either never held him onscreen or I couldn't find the cap. And at any rate, it didn't feel right to have her image there - her absence, not her presence, is the central thing to Gabrielle's story and to poor Mr Gordo. The ghost image of her headstone and most of the textures used (a furry plush texture, the blood spatter texture with color inverted over Buffy's face, plus noise and grunge filters alternating with softening and bloom filters) came about because I was trying to hide the edges of the Mr Gordo image I'd cut. Now I'm satisfied that you can't see the "seams" but working on it that was all I could see.

Gabrielle felt it captured the "chaos" of Mr Gordo's world after Buffy's death and most importantly she was pleased with it. Now I can say I am, too. I don't see the flaws anymore when I look at this; I only remember her story and Mr Gordo's plight: "His soft pink heart hurts and he wishes she were here to make it better."

The biggest mistake I made was forgetting that her LJ is narrow and downsizing it before I sent it to her, or doing it in a vertical format.

pickamix kindly downsized it for Gabrielle's LJ. Thank you very much to everyone who has already commented on the piece there. Constructive criticism is warmly accepted.

And if you haven't read Gabrielle's story for goodness' sake what are you waiting for? But do bring tissues; you'll need them.

...dashing off something fun and lighthearted always helps. Besides, it's time I came out of the closet, don't you think? I've added version #1 below to my Welcome Post but I also like the slightly paler "vintage" version (#2) and a bright rainbow one with and without (#3) the torn paper frame, as well as the original. I can never decide between colorways but you know that about me by now, don't you?

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(A sneaky-peek of what awaits you after the cut, Gentle Reader)

(01)

Click the images below for the full-size treats and enjoy:

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cec7ce08-0c36-40ab-9c50-b21d490f5026_zps644c7fbb

(02-03)

Which version do you prefer?

Let's face it: for me as a Buffy fan, shipping her with Spike - or Angel, Xander, Giles, Faith, Willow - hell, Clem for that matter - can be a freakin' joyless slog at times, something to be done privately with lips kept zipped. I can only read so many "bad Buffy, bad girl, for not duly appreciating my favorite character! No biscuit for you, bad girl!" before I begin to feel as though I've been lacerated up and down my entire spine and my shoulders ache from cringing so often. I have enough of that sort of thing in my real life relationships. Fandom is supposed to be fun, isn't it, or why participate? Ergo, Buffy/Tara shipping: all the warm hugs and pillowy comfort I could desire.

**********

Not that I don't ship Tara will Willow. If you think I nearly cried when I made the two W/T icons for this round of

btvsats20in20, you'd be correct. If you think I'm tearing up right now thinking about them, you'd also be right. Working on the icons from The Body reminded me why I loved them when I watched the show two years ago, why they still felt incredibly revolutionary to me over ten years after the show ended, why they matter to this middle-aged lesbian and to so many other people, young and old, gay, straight, and otherwise. This round increased my desire to "reclaim" them for myself and do a future Willow/Tara claim. Speaking of which -

***********

VOTING ENDS TOMORROW, JUNE 22nd for ROUND 3 of

btvsats20in20. (See what I did there?) There have been approximately 23 participating voters, some of whom are the 9 participating artists. That's a very very tiny voting populace in a fandom of thousands of people. Even if you don't like voting (which I admittedly don't) or disagree with the concept of awards for arts, do stop by and give the participating artists feedback. If you're snagging an icon, let the artist know. That's the best gift and reward of all for any artist: to know their work is not only appreciated but used and loved. So says I.

***********

I also said I wouldn't post my alts and extras from this round, including banners, until after the votes were tabulated. (Believe me I have no illusions about winning anything this round, 'cause that ain't happenin', and that's ok. ) However, I never promised not to post the Willow/Tara banner that actually was the inspiration for my Category set this round. I made this well over a year ago before I knew anything of ipiccy or vector masks, textures and layers, kits and kings and various things.

And Tara - oh, Tara. In addition to a W/T claim, there's Tara in S4, in S5, S6; by herself and in combination with Buffy, Dawn, Willow, Anya. Tara as a true "comfortador" in ways Xander can't even begin to dream of; Tara as fierce Mama Bear, Tara as witch and seer; as a bridge, with Dawn, between Manus and Spiritus, demonstrating that the two can be united even when Buffy and Willow are mistakenly locked in the extreme ends of the spectrum.

***********

Now for goodness sake, Gentle Reader, go and vote. Or stop to look and appreciate the fine art in the galleries, however you like. But do stop in...whilst I mop up my tears and make myself presentable for company.

My original claim for this round of

btvsats20in20 was Tara in S4, but

starry_night kindly allowed me to expand that.

Teasers

10 Themes
Full Body	Minimalism	Heartbreak	Yellow	Matching Background

Fear	Grunge	Favourite	Touch	Mod’s Choice

5 Category \|MAGNIFYING GLASS
Cat 1	Cat 2	Cat 3	Cat 4	Cat 5

5 Artist's Choice
AC 1	AC 2	AC 3	AC 4	AC 5

Alts and extras will follow in a separate post and oh boy do I have alts.

Comments - including honest critiques - welcome. (You can't be harder on these than I am.) If you're wondering what I was aiming for with the Fear icon, my inspiration was

clockwork_hart1's Tough Love Tara-POV fic "Shadows and Light".

My mom is coming for a week long visit tomorrow so if I do not reply to comments, that's why.

starry_night if you need to disqualify my entries, I understand and that's ok. I'm really not fussed about that. I learned a lot, and quality time spent with Tara Maclay is NEVER time wasted.

I would love to make more Tara icons, and more Willow/Tara icons. Oh goodness I could go on forever. But I've realized two things: 1) 20in20 isn't a good fit for me. 15 would be more like it. I have alternate versions but I run out of steam and then realize I have to come up with five more new ones. Ugh.

2) that my days of icon making are numbered. My new bifocals make it so much harder than before, slower; and I find myself thinking in terms of banners and large artworks as a consequence. The icons for Full Body, Touch, Cat 1 and Cat3 all started life as larger artworks. Which I will show off in another post because....

3) I FINALLY made artwork from the final scene in Dead Things that I'm happy with. (Thanks, ipiccy!)

Such as, posted your Spike icons for Round 3 of

btvsats20in20 like

rua1412 did and made the rest of us (read: me) look like slackers, put together your entries for

slayerstillness,

otherworldlyric and/or

btvs_hush; posted the lasted chaper of your newest masterpiece in fanfiction (such as

velvetwhip's Blindfold; completed various and sundry errands while making it all look easy or just been generally useful and constructive in your use of time.....instead of putzing around making Buffy Summers fanart out of cloudscapes you shot out of the car window in Vermont....

Trailing Clouds of Glory Series 1-9 - Click on all images for fuill-size versions

3aee7f48-9daa-4128-91eb-afb56e6ccff0_zps069ff020

# 1

ICON30893af0-a162-44f0-abb9-b7b3030806d7_zpsa18bf6af

# 1.5 - the icon version

...then clearly you are not me. Congratulations for your wise and sensible choices!

Yes of course I have variations; I can't decide what I like best. Are you mad? I can't even decide what I want to do for Round 3 of

btvsats20in20 and am this close to putting it up a poll.(I could have used the icon above as my starting point - and then decided that I really wanted it for me, right NOW.)

I've been wanting to put together this image of Buffy from the Gift with a cloudscape ever since I worked on "Scroll Fragment 1" a couple of weeks ago, and started really playing with layers, textures and filtes. I did the layers and major grunge or bloom textures in ipiccy, then finished off with my signature, text, San Carmen filter (see #2), frames and minor adjustments etc in Photobucket.

Trailing Clouds of Glory Series - Click on all images for full-size versions.

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# 2

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# 3

I love the way the clouds look like a classical wreath or tiara around her head. Willow gets the title "goddess" in canon but Buffy's my queen (

kikimay will understand) and I loved the feeling in these images of Buffy as a benvolent sky goddess - perhaps a more upbeat interpretation of the events of "The Gift". (The irony of my use of the word "glory" in the title did not escape my notice.) Granted, a goddess who will come down and get medieval on your ass if you cross Mama.

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# 4

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# 5

Her expression is the epitome of what we call a "Mona Lisa smile" - caught halfway between a smile and a frown (it could go either way when I played with the image, depending on the level of contrast), tinged with irony, poignancy and a certain resignation.

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# 6

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# 7-9

Click on images for full-sized versions.
ETA: A couple more variations at my Scrapbook here (f'riends only) .

And yes I really did take the cloudscape out the car window - whilst my sweetie was driving - on macro/food setting. Proof-positive that my Nikon digital camera is absolutely idiot-proof.

signedcloudscapevtbrightenedinpb_zpse26a4923

Click image for full-size (it's reallly pretty! If I do say so myself. This reminds me of a cloud study by Constable or Corot, which only prooves what great artists they were.) Cropped and sharpened ever-so-slightly in Photobucket or ipiccy. I can't remember which.

On the upside, I completed a job application to a big box retailer today. Cheese on a cracker but those online personality tests are insane.

Now to figure out what to do for the 20in20. (Amends? Sleeper? Tara? Willow/Tara? Joyce? The Summers women? *ponders*)

I wanted to get these out to y'all earlier in the week but sucky life circumstances drained the life out of me for a few days. I'm very grateful for the love and supportive I've gotten this week from my friends here who have offered virtual arms and shoulders to cry on, and let me rant about things various, be it my personal distress so I don't curl up in a fetal position in the corner, or why I prefer Barney Stinson's honest deceptions to Ted Mosby's self-absorbed, pretentious, pseudo-sensitive crap but could never articulate it before.

The lesson, kids, is that none of us is really, truly alone, that it takes courage to say "I hurt" aloud and trust someone to hear that because it's so hard to do. That I have wonderful friends so even if my life is in pieces, I'm not a "bad" person to be so loved. And - upside! - I'm using some downtime to learn new-to-me digital editing skilz. Because I WILL get good enough to make meta-picspams that don't embarrass me, and pretty prezzies for my friends.

*****

*** Voting for Round 1 of btvsats20in20 is open until midnight June 16th, if you haven't had the chance to vote already for Themes, Category (B/W), and Artist's Choice. Looking at the results so far is proof positive that I'm a pretty poor judge of my own stuff. Or other people's I guess because there are some really fantastic icons by folks who happen to not be me that are NOT getting the love they deserve. So says I. I'm not telling you to vote for my stuff, of course, or what stuff by other people to vote for. Really. That would be wrong. But if you chose to catch my mental wavelength and read my mind, then there's just nothing I can do about that, is there?

*** Challenge 26 at slayerstillness is "The Same But Different". starry_night kindly responded to suggestions from teragramm and myself for a challenge that allows multiple icons of the same image. "For this challenge there will also be a slight change to the rules in that I would like you to submit a full set of five (5) icons. Voting will also be different in that you will be voting for your favourite sets, as well as individual icons...For this challenge only (for now…) you can submit up to TWO (2) sets of five icons." The deadline is midnight Saturday June 21st at our own time zones.

*** otherworldlyric Challenge 175 is set to the song "Stay with Me" by Hoobastank, deadline midnight Friday June 20th. I've never heard of the band or the song but the lyrics are simple and lovely and I started making an icon or two or....about 10 or so at this point, and at least three different crops of the same cap. Hmmm... As Willow says to Kennedy in "Get it Done", it's how I work. Ten years ago I made Moulin Rouge icons just for myself - i didn't know about LJ, about icontests or any such thing, so I was just having fun and making multiple variations of any one icon came naturally to me. It's much harder for me participating in challenges and trying to force myself to make fewer icons. So far? It hasn't worked. 5-9x the number I need is pretty much average. (Yes, I did the math.)

If I could have, my entries in Round 1 of btvsats20in20 would have been almost entirely variants of The Chain icon. Speaking of which... my alts/extras for this round. (Did I mention voting ends June 16th?)

Here be teasers:

I know I've mentioned it before but it doesn't hurt to repeat: all credit to kwritten credit for introducing me to ipiccy and to clockwork_hart1 for giving me instructions in how to make a collage in that program. I'm not trying to affect anyone's votes btw, and some folks don't want to be bothered with the blah-de-blah (if I weren't me I'd tell me to STFU) so I've grouped the icons first, directors commentary track afterwards - your choice to read it or not.

Here be Icons:

(01-04)

(05-08)

(09-11)

(12-14)

(15-17)

(18-20)

(21-23)

(24-27)

(28-30)

( 31-35)

(36-38)

(39-42)

(43-45)

And here be Artist's Commentary Track:

#01 -08 This set was such fun and my favorites of all my entries. Making them was like discovering the key to a door I'd never been able to unlock before. #1-3 are basically the same icon, with the addition of the Photo Collage effect from ipiccy. IThe exact arrangement, number/size of the photos, size and color of frames, the color of background and color within the frames all had to be chosen separately. Then I took #2 back to PB and used the Splash function to remove all the color and repaint some of the squares. (#3) Great practice in hand-eye co-ordination, especially redrawing the blood on her cheek while leaving the rest of the square grey.

For both #4 and my Comics entry I had to go back to the original icon #1, and readjust the arrangement and number of photos within the image each time, chose the color within the frames and the background colors separately. #4 has smaller "photos" and thus less background showing; I also learned something very important - don't bisect key facial features (nose and lips) right down the center.

For my final Comics entry I recolored and reshuffled everything, then added a separate light leak effect, something I see in icons all the time and have wondered how it was done. (Every week now I find myself looking at an icon and saying "I know how that was done!" And every day I look at an icon and say "How the heck was that done?") Photo Collage is a tricky effect; it's easy to overdo, but it doesn't mesh well with very realistic photographs because it has a very cartoon-like "drawn" or fake quality. With an icon from a comic book illustration, it's a perfect marriage.

#09-11 My first successful attempts at "blending" - really collage; I didn't know how to blend images seamlessly. And by "successful" I mean, "nominally better than a sharp stick in the eye".The effect reminded me those graphic movie magazines I grew up with in the 1970's but really not satisfied with the quality of it. I tried using a light effect from ipiccy to cover up the dividing line. It didn't work, but it looks like a prompt for a nifty "Cave Buffy and newly resurrected Buffy are thrown into an alternative universe together" fic. Anyone want to take that up?

Cave Buffy sort of skirts the edges of my claim (not really-real Buffy) but when I rewatched Beer Bad the second time after watching season 6, the visual parallels with Bargaining were one of those "once you see it you can't unsee it" things. Exhibit A in my "Beer Bad is aweseom and fandom doesn't give it respect" argument.

#12-17 First time with textures. #12 is the color version of my Cat #4 (black/white) entry and I think it works better with color. Poor Cat #4 - the only one of my entries not to draw any comment when I posted them and no surprise, it's my least favorite too. 14 is a combination of provided texture plus shine (rays of light) effect, which is where the yellow color comes from. These aren't pretty but they remind me of the artwork of William Blake and his friend and contemporary Henry Fuseli. Also, I apparently love to combine textures with the Shine effect because they both show up in three of my entries, separately or together. Should I be worried?

#17 was just sharpen, sharpen, lighten, blend the pixels, push the contrast, sharpen, blend one more time. I didn't realize how soft-focus the original cap is until I started playing with it. (If you are unaware of my feelings regarding Normal Again and Sarah's amazing performance in it, you must be new here. Welcome! Have a cookie!

#18-23 More provided texture plus shine effect, then pushing the color. I don't remember how I got those bands of purple in the Primeval icons (another applied texture maybe? I have no idea) and I couldn't have planned the way it goes directly into her eyeballs and curves around her chin. Happy accidents. These icons have a particular immediacy for me because I have epilepsy and a seizure is essentially an electrical surge in my brain that temporarily shorts everything out; I have no control over my own body. "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" And that's what I wanted to evoke visually - the sense of things gone haywire, the horror of losing control of one's own body.

#24-27 These icons from Amends and The Wish show how well some of the early season caps can be lightened without pixelating. I'm still surprised by how much detail I got - the pores on the skin, the makeup around her eye, the lines on her scar. The sadness on Wishverse!Buffy's face isn't noticeable in the original cap, which is very dark, but comes through when it's lightened ands took me by surprise. It's perfect - the lonely, wounded girl behind the tough exterior. She's not "Buffy as Faith" as some fans have said; Faith is full of piss and fire and would have emptied Giles' decanter and stolen another bottle for good measure. This girl, she's General Buffy, foreshadowed, but still very much Buffy. I really took the guideline "must show detail" to heart for the XCU - I was going to get every pore on her face if it killed me.

The softness and sheen of her hair and skin in the Amends icons is incredibly lovely in these and belies the horror of the moment. I turned the orientation of the cap to show off her expression better. She almost looks as if she is running very fast and shouting in alarm something in the distance, instead of lying in bed being killed/devoured by Angel in his dream. The man clings to her as his salvation, his second chance to be a good man; the demon would gleefully suck her dry. (Be careful what you wish for...)

#28-30 As with the Amends icon, I love the contrast of the warmth of this imagine and the context of the scene: "That's my guy." All these effects were done in ipiccy. I wanted the look of a drawing for 31-32 but I didn't like the Pencil Drawing effect in ipiccy, so I used the lines of one of the Light effects and removed the color. A lot of icon making for me is about trying to go around the back door to get what I want.

The First wearing Buffy's face is the (non-corporeal) manifestation of Buffy's fear of becoming a demon, inhuman, from "Nightmares" in S1 through S6, as well as soulless Spike's desires that she "try on my world for size". The fantastic, bitter irony of the formerly soulless vampire demon who once wanted her to be his companion, his lover, alone in the dark, needs the real Buffy - needs her humanity - more than ever to help him escape the darkness and evil he'd encouraged her to embrace. (Be careful what you wish for....)

#31-35 "La Belle Dame Sans Merci" series - the title of Keat's ballad is perfect for Faith's dream image of Buffy in TYG; the font is Princess Sophia in PB. I spent more time, and threw away more attempts, on this set than any other for the round. Beautiful images but the caps are so damn dark, and unlike the early season caps they don't emerge nicely when you brighten them, they just pixilate. I finally realized that when I downsize an image in ipiccy I get slightly better results in ipiccy than in PB because ipiccy seems to retain the quality of the image a bit better, but I still had to downsize and adjust in increments.

Tons of blending work - I bow low to the wisdom of comlodge's sage advice - especially on Sarah's nose, as well as on the background. Dear god, chasing that last little pixel at the tip of her nostril nearly drove me insane. I am well on my way to becoming the foremost expert on Sarah's nose - second to only her ENT doctor. (And look, Ma, I finally signed one of my icons! *lol*)

#36-42 From Nightmares - another reason you need to watch Season 1 if you haven't already. The seeds for the entire series are planted in S1, and Nightmares might just be the skeleton key to the psychology of Buffy Summers. (And it pays dividends down the line for Willow Rosenberg fans as well.) I hated losing that brick wall. Kicking myself for not paying better attention to the guidelines of that catagory. The NS+mono I entered with the shine effect has been getting almost the most votes of any of my entries but dear goodness me I loved the lines and texture of that brick wall. No special effects needed except brighten, sharpen and contrast. The "flames" of color revealed themselves. I painted in the silhouette with black to cover lighter pixels dotting her face and clothes.

#43-45 What's a brick wall without a little graffiti, even in the Hellmouth? Especially in the Hellmouth? Buffy the Ad Exec Slayer - there has GOT to be a btvs-Mad Men crossover somewhere. The phrase "She Comes" is the result of me mis-remembering Lord Byron's poem "She Walks in Beauty" but for this context I prefer my version - it could be hopeful (Make way for the Queen!) or sinister (Run for your lives!).

ETA:

bangel_4e notified me that my original entries for NS+Mono and Artists Choice 1 were not qualified so I've switched them out. Let me know what you think.

My first-ever 20in20 entries for Round 1 of

btvsats20in20 were inspired by the Jo Chen's Cover art for "The Chain"; so I decided to claim Buffy Summers as my subject (no surprise) but with a twist: the "not really-real" versions that populate the Buffyverse: impersonators, dopplegangers, alt universe versions; Buffy reimagined in her own and in other people's dreams.

All icons made by me in ipiccy and Photobucket. Many thanks to

bangel_4e and

spikesredqueen for their patient and tireless hand-holding.

Teasers

10 Themes
Strong	Favorite Moment	NS+Monochrome	Comics	Blending

Earth Tones	Provided Texture	Ex.Close Crop	Smile	Focused

5 Category \|BLACK AND WHITE
Cat 1	Cat 2	Cat 3	Cat 4	Cat 5

5 Artist's Choice
AC 1	AC 2	AC 3	AC 4	AC 5

Alts and extras to be posted separately.

WANT? TAKE, HAVE, ENJOY! - But give proper credit always!
DO NOT alter, claim as your own or repost to other websites without my permission.
If you snag an icon, letting me know is always appreciated. Feedback feeds the savage fan artist.

What it says on the tin: voting is up now for 10 terrific entries in the latest

btvs_hush challenge 273 (Becoming). The deadline for voting is Sunday the 25th, 8pm EST (North America); but if you're reading this right post you might as well go ahead and take another minute to vote right now because if you're anything like me you'll tell yourself you'll do it later, get totally distracted with ten different ~~fanfics (shiny!)~~ work projects and the deadline will slip right by before you know it.

Unless you're organized and have a terrific memory ergo, not like me in any way whatsoever. Lucky you.

While I'm here I might as well take the opportunity to trot out the icons I made for

btvs_hush challenge # 257 last August. My timing was spectacularly horrible. True story: I entered three icons for Challenge C, "blades" on August 14th because it seemed like a really fun idea; who doesn't love the Buffyverse women cracking out weapons of destruction? (Or maybe that's just me.)

Then August 19th my sweetie's bedroom went up in flames. Neither one of us died (the good news).

WInners were announced on September 1st: delicately beautiful icons by

xclaire_delunex and

rua1412 of horrible moments in Tough Love.

I wasn't really disappointed. Just tired, stressed out, living for two weeks in a tent in our front yard (that I pitched myself I will have you know), bandaging my sweetie's burned hand and foot, trying hard not to have flashbacks or at least not be too upset by them, and dealing with incredible back and leg pain because I retraumatized an injury that had not yet healed from the prior November and totally wasting that epidural I had in March which hurt like hell all by itself....

Add to all that the embarrasment of trying to answer (or dodge) everyone's queries about the fire, and the knowledge that I nearly killed my ladylove. She nearly died because of me, because of a stupid freak spark that turned the mattress into a firebomb. That knowledge is something I will live with for the rest of my life. She was frightened, hysterical, trying to fight an unbeatable fire when the sensible thing to do would be run away; I was begging her to leave the bedroom and had to drag her out with an assist from my landlord just as the firetrucks arrived. She nearly died and I did that. I'm sorry about the property damage, Mr Landlord, I truly am; but your walls and floorboards pale in comparison to her life. To anyone's life. That's on me.

I DO NOT MISS THE YEAR 2013 A.D.

But enough of that....Now I look at these entries and think, meh, I wouldn't have voted for me either. Especially now that I'm trying to improve my icon and image making skilz and can barely stand to look at some things I did even a few months ago. Or even a week ago. Now that I've had a chance to use the sharpening tool in http://ipiccy.com I'm embarrassed by the fuzziness and lack of clarity of #1 & 3.

I still kind of fancy #2 though; I'd seen icons of Willow with her "bag of knives" in Glory's apartment many times, but I wanted to focus just on the knives themselves, and increased brightness and saturation to give it an incongruously bright and cheerful Technicolor or cartoon effect. Some alternate efforts I didn't enter, including images from Spiral, which I think I love more than fandom does generally, the hokiness of the Knights Who Say Key notwithstanding; Anne icons and my first effort at Joyce in School Hard which is pretty horrible. But, hey, shiny red ax! Bright blue window!

I wasn't thinkng at the time about the parallels/echoes between Joyce protecting Buffy in School Hard, and Buffy protecting Dawn in Spiral; it's just one of those things that's there, whether I'm conscious of it or not, and lies at the base of why I love those Summers women. Fighting, protecting, to the point death and beyond - I get that.

*As always - want? Take, have - with proper credit please! And also, letting me know is not necessary but totally cool*

Congratulations to the winners of

slayerstillness challenge #23 "Simplicity, it works for me":

shameless666,

rua1412,

kwritten,

teragramm,

tempertemper, and

debris4spike! There were 35 wonderful entries this round, which did not make voting any easier. Both the submission and the voting threads have been unlocked by

starry_night, and I don't know about you but I think it's fun to look at those after the fact. (It's entirely possible I need to reconsider my concept of "fun", but never mind that.) And my apologies for taking so long to post this; it's not that I'd forgotten, it's that it takes me a week to put up a single post. Yes, I am that disorganized.

I want to give

tempertemper's lovely Angel icon a special shout-out because I didn't vote for it but nearly did. That was an agonizing decision not to because because only five slots to fill/would have if I'd voted a day later or five minutes earlier or if the moon had been in Capricorn. You know the drill. When the quality is so good across the board and there are so many choices, which means pretty much on a regular basis with these icontests, the notion of "best" is to a degree a moot point vs just make a damn choice already because someone else is waiting to get on the damn 'puter.

Whoever said "no regrets" obviously never voted in an icontest.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH to

starry_night for very graciously and patiently answering all my questions as always, on top of all the work she does to run these challenges. After a few weeks' absence from icon making or icontests, I was apparently in uber-pest mode. The only things I didn't ask were "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" and "Can I have a soda?" I'm pretty sure she would have handled those questions with grace and aplomb as well.

Deadline for the next round is Friday May 16th, midnight your time zone.

My submissions: It probably wasn't hard to tell which were mine. 1) Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, and a little more Buffy for good measure - check 2) Use of frames esp the "torn paper" frame and/or the "vintage photo" San Carmen effect in PB - check 3) extreme contrast and rich saturation, chiaroscuro, or muted tonalities - check, 4) "illustrative" effects to create the appearance of drawings, paintings, woodcuts, vintage book cover art, etc - check

The prompt was "simplicity" - no heavy textures. I interpreted the San Carmen effect in #1 & 4 as a "light" texture but in hindsight I probably should have asked. #2 looks like I did something fancy but it's really just pushing saturation, color temperature and contrast to extremes to get an effect that reminded me slightly of something from children's book covers from a few decades ago.

The only entry here for which there are no variations after the cut is #4 - it is the one and only. It's not often I am that satisfied in one attempt, and all that one needed was push the brightness and contrast, then add San Carmen effect. Done. Sarah's face is so beautiful as-is. The other day

kikimay and I were talking about how lovely Buffy during that period of the series, before Joyce's death and the tremendous pressures of protecting Dawn from a Hellgod AND from Giles, keeping her promise to her mother and saving the world, steals the laughter from her life and the light from her eyes.

The other icons I made but didn't submit; I really had a lot of fun making these and playing with variations and effects. With the Anne icons from Buffy's guilt-plagued nightmare, particularly 2 and 11-22, I was initially trying to capture the way grief can often feel - I'm suffering and yet the world goes on; there is beauty everywhere but I can't feel it; the sun is still shining and the birds are still singing. How is that possible? For 11-13 and 21 I borrowed from "Ken's" dialogue in the episode "What is Hell but the absence of Hope?" 14-15 use Spike's comment in Smashed "Poor little lost girl". I thought the phrase suited Buffy beautifully here but when I used it in it's entirety all I could hear was Spike's sniggering tone and felt like I was likewise mocking her; removing the word "poor" solved that. For 16 & 22 the cliche phrase from old travel postcards takes on very different meaning in this context.

10)

11)

12)

13)

14)

15)

16)

17)

18)

19)

20)

21)

22)

Look at #3, and 23-25 carefully; you can just see Buffy's (Sarah's?) teeth bared, lips curled back in a hiss as she (or the demon who has taken her form) rasps her accusations to Willow and Tara ("Did you pat it's head before you slit it's throat?") in one of the most nightmarish scenes of that season. I tried very hard to get rid of that "reverse shadow" of her mouth but wasn't able to; and then decided I rather liked it. #27 does not have a text overlay; that's just what happened when I pushed the color saturation to an extreme.

23)

24)

25)

26)

27)

28)

29)

30)

Congratulations to rua1412 and kwritten for their winning icons in otherworldlyric challenge #171 ("Origins")! Two of the three winners were my personal vote-getters and I'm not saying which. (Unless you ask nicely and offer bribes.)

The deadline for the current otherworldlyric challenge #172 "Watching Me Fall" is Friday, May9th - which is tonight in my part of the world. With apologies for the very late reminder. But the folks who work best under tight deadlines will relish the challenge (right?)

Many thanks as always to my awesome beta-Muse, wickedbish for his sharp eye, gentle guidance and record-time response with my OWL entries. He picked out the top three of the lot and there was no quibble on my end. My entries:

1) 2) 3)

And here's some of the icons I made for the challenge but didn't submit. #4 probably would have been my fourth choice to submit. 5 and 8 don't have text; I never got to that point and decided they didn't need it.

4) 5) 6) 7) 8)

9) 10) 11) 12) 13) 14)

15) 16) 17) 18) 19)

Things I have learned in this round:

1) That there's not a lot of Tough Love icons out there.

2) That making TL icons was in some ways more painful or difficult for me emotionally than making Bargaining or After Life icons. Which is probably why there are not a lot of TL icons out there...."Oh Tara, baby..." *sobs*

3)...OTOH it's still easier to make TL icons of Willow than Villains icons. I. JUST. CAN'T.

4) The easiest way to do icons of Willow and WIllow/Tara? Do what I do with Buffy and focus on what I love in the characters - which is to say, focus on their capacity to love. (Which is not to be confused with "being nice and ladylike" or "getting it right".)

5) I thought about using the lyric "inquisitive mind" with an early seasons cap of Willow but am not familiar enough with S1-3 to think of something off the top of my head. Which I already knew. But it's harder to do caps of seasons you're not as passionate or knowledgeable about. (Ok, so I already knew that too. Moving on....)

6) I love the set of Aly's mouth in the cap I used for #1, her pale face and dark eyes, even the strange monkey-fur collar that implies "base" impulses, the hunter...she has an utterly fierce beauty here.

7) I have more screencaps of Willow than I remembered.

8) For all my capacity for snark and irony, I seem to have an internal "sensor" when I'm working on icons that tells me from time to time in no uncertain terms "That really isn't funny. Don't go there." Hence #14 & 15 - I was trying to deconstruct the lyrics of the song and the additional phrases popped into my head; Buffy is "made to live", "made to serve" as a Slayer. Then I made 15 and felt like I was making fun of her and that felt gross under the circumstances.

9) So I decided that the phrase more accurately fitted the Buffybot who is, as lanoyee has pointed out to me, a metaphor for the Slayers themselves, "manufactured" at the whim of the Shadowmen and the WC, used up and then discarded for a newer model (#19)....Which really isn't funny. At all. No matter how you slice it.

10) In fact the more I think about the Buffybot, the more disturbing the entire situation becomes. Including the fact that "she" looks to be in pain, by whatever metric you want to measure that for a robot, in the cap from Intervention. (3, 16-18)

11) But as it happens anyway, the rules of otherworldlyric specifically state that you can ONLY use words that are contained within the song. Which meant 14-18 were a no-go as entries, but made for some interesting contemplation. It also meant that #3 didn't have quite the same impact/irony as I'd intended. (The plain and rather shitty looking font in #3 didn't help matters; HOW did I let that pass that way? What was I thinking?)

12) Wrapping text around an object is possible in Photobucket is only truly possible by making a new text box for every letter and manipulating each one of them individually - position/spacing, angle, size, etc. (#2, 9-10). Wrangling 18 individual text boxes at 100 or 200 pixels square is a bitch. Not really worth the work. That said....

13) If you are going to do something so foolish as to wrangle 18 individual letters ~~around Buffy's bloodied hands~~ within an image, it's easier to do it in a single continuous line or flow, even if one of the words needs to be read backwords than place some words left to right at the top, then start again with the rest of lyric from left to right at the bottom. (#19, Kendra icon) Trust me on this one.

14) Sometimes fancy effects in pixlr-whathaveyou or piccy-yaddayadda (11, 16, 17) aren't really superior to "Brighten", "Contrast" and "Saturation" in Photobucket (everything else) in terms of final results. It's the user, not the tool, that matters. BUT - they're a helluva lot of fun to play with.

15) Every once in a while, I care less about "legibility of text" than I think I do. See # 7 - I was going to remake it with a different font, then realized it didn't bother me the way it was.

16) I do wish however that I'd save images before putting the text in more often because I do wish I had a version of #7 without.

17) Something I actually learned working on Spuffy icons recently is the importance of a point of physical contact to connect two characters in an icon whether or not they are looking at one another. I made #6 before #4-5, but the image is stronger emotionally and compositionally with WIllow's arm and hand visible in the frame, curling around Tara, clutching her jacket.

And FINALLY the most important thing I learned this round:

18) NONATTACHMENT! Do not, under any circumstances, think for even one fraction of a second, "Well, mine aren't the greatest, but I could possibly win something because...." THIS WAY LIES MADNESS AND BADNESS - or at least a momentary sense of irrational disappointment! ~~SYSTEMS ABORT!~~ DETACH! FIND THE ZEN!

Just trust me on this one.

kwritten and

lynnenne's deconstruction of "Bad to the Bone" re:

otherworldlyric challenge 170 inspired me to give it another try (their comments/poetry here and here.)

I tried. Oh I did try. But this simply doesn't "translate" in icon size. (This is my favorite version let's forget about the rejects, shall we?):

And that was the best of the lot. So my newest Fox and the Vineyard excuse is: There are some things that just can't be said in an icon and needs a bigger canvas.

Do I need an excuse for more fic recs, all wrapped in shiny birthday wishes? Oh of course I do...there's that vacuum cleaner in the corner that is calling my name and THAT JUST WON'T DO. So, without further ado:

spike_1790 : Master fic list here. Mostly m/m slash especially Spike/Xander and Spike/Angel but also Spike/Andrew, Spike/Jonathan and even one Spike/Riley. (Why aren't there more fics about that pairing circa S5? Riley making secret trips to Spike's crypt for a little - "guy talk"? About Buffy. Riiiiiight. And I can offer you zero % financing and low monthly payments on this gorgeous bridge in Brooklyn....) "Daises", a character study of Dawn between The Gift and Bargaining won Best Drabble in the 2013 Absence of Light Awards: "Only one thing made her feel guilt. A single theft amongst many."
"Drowning, Not Waving" (Willow, Spike, Buffy, Dawn) spins silk from the sow's ear "Wrecked" and Willow's magic addiction plotline via five drabbles from various perspectives: "Of course she hadn’t intended it to be this way- just a thrill, right? Just a little bit of danger in a boring life. Something to make the pain go away. She hadn’t counted on feeling this connection, this… electricity."
"Dust You Are And to Dust You Shall Return" was originally intended as Spike/Xander and ended with no named characters, which probably increases it's power as an original work: "Our lives may have depended on it. Someone's probably did. We couldn't hear."

*********************

desoto_hia873's "All Set Down" is an AU-variation on The Gift, which is one of my fandom drugs. I rec'd it back in February, but it rewards re-discovery and re-reading; it also breaks one of my "rules" when it comes to fanfic: Don't "cut and paste" slabs of dialogue from the show/movie/etc and basically reproduce the scene that already exists...unless you're doing what desoto does: weaving scenes from the show with original scenes, changing each canon sequence slightly until the changes build into something entirely new and I'm glued to my seat trying to guess what will happen next. Then still glued in place even after I know how it's going to unfold.

Told from Giles' POV, it highlights the pragmatism he wears like a mask to hide his emotions, at terrible cost: "There will be no well-wishers meeting him there, no fond farewells from the children he grew to love and failed to protect. They can no more bear to see him than he can to look at himself." There's no way to read this, or to watch The Gift, and not recall Passion: the way the broken bodies of the two people he's loved most, Jenny and Buffy, are both laid out before him. And it's hard for me to read this and not be aware of the fact that one of Buffy's most important relationships is relatively underexplored in fics compared to "shippy" fics. There's far more Buffy/Giles, as far as I can see, than Buffy & GIles.

It also shines a light on Dawn''s courage; as

bone_dry1013 once said to me in reference to her, "Summers blood must be the blood of champions." Forget the silly deus ex machina; "All Set Down" emphasizes the true importance of "Summers' blood". "She straightens, lifts her chin, squares her shoulders, and rivets him in place with her stare.....there is no waver in her voice."

Desoto's master fic list here, various drabbles here.

Over the past year I've seen some sincere and well-intended comments in fandom re: how Buffy copes with depression in S6 that I've wanted to respond to but frankly have been at a loss. (What, me, at a loss for words? Yep. You can stop laughing now.) Because I try to do the usual mental somersaults "Don't take it personally they're not talking about me bitty blah..." and then end up walking away because the friendship is more important, right? (Right?)A.K.A, I'm a coward. I do take it personally, however hard I try not to. Depression is so terribly difficult to describe to others because I can barely begin to wrap my own mind around it. If I don't understand it, how I can expect anyone who hasn't experienced it to be able to do so? It's a highly-stigmatized subject: don't ask, don't tell. Mental illness receives less respect and real science in terms of care and treatment than, say, athletes foot or erectile dysfunction. Season 5 touches on the disparities of treatment in terms of socio-economic factors, as well the huge divide between the care Joyce receives for a "physical ailment" vs that of Glory's victims, including Tara.

Fortunately, there are other people in this fandom and outside of it who are braver, smarter and more eloquent than I am, especially when it comes to this very personal and difficult subject. When I'm at a loss all I need do is create a link and say "This". The biggest library in the whole damn world is right at my fingertips, assuming I can remember where anything is located:

"Buffy and Trauma, Part 1: Where I'm Coming From" by

eilowyn : "This series of meta posts, which begins with this one, originally was supposed to be one giant mega meta. I would view Buffy’s trauma and depression academically, put forth a thesis, support it with evidence, and conclude it succinctly. Meta doesn’t come easy for me, but academic writing does. However, the more I thought about Buffy’s situation and my situation, the more this giant mega post became smaller, separate posts. I had so much to say, and the only way I could say it all is if I told this story of my depression and Buffy’s trauma and depression in pieces. This is the first piece, in which I candidly discuss my depression, and how I came to win the fight against it."

I'm grateful that she chose to write it the way she did, because an entirely academic essay wouldn't be nearly as meaningful to me. Her actual, lived experience offers me something that clinical descriptions or analysis can't: recognition and a sense of relief that it's not just me after all - hey, I may be going crazy but at least I'm not going crazy alone, right? (Right?) Buffy Summers is not just an intellectual construct to me; she touches my heart and appeals to my mind equally, as does this essay. The greatest gifts I received the moment I walked with her into Sunnydale High School - from Buffy herself, the 'verse and its fandom - are hope, relief, and comfort from people who identify with Buffy's struggles as I do, and write openly and courageously about their personal experiences with a highly misunderstood and stigmatized condition. I admire

eilowyn's courage and hope that I can make it my own, and pass her precious gifts along to someone else.

******

"But it wasn’t just intelligence that marked Buffy as something different. In a world rigged to make us feel alone and insignificant, Buffy gave us hope. It made us feel as though we were a part of something bigger than ourselves, that we belonged....Even now, so many years after the end of the show, there are still new fans finding their way into Sunnydale. Buffy doesn’t care that they’re late to the game. She’s’ been waiting for them – and she accepts all of them exactly as they are." - Letter from Amber Benson in The Making of A Slayer

******

"Depression, Part 2" is the latest update from Allie Brosh on Hyperbole and a Half : "The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always wanted to not give a fuck about anything. I viewed feelings as a weakness — annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn't have to feel them anymore. But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there's a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck. Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don't feel very different."

Nearly every word Allie writes describes my own experience of depression with frightening, precise accuracy: the numbing fog, the hopelessness, the inability to feel not only positive feelings (joy, love) but even negative ones - to be able to have a good cleansing cry or scream, when the tears just won't come anymore (and what's the point anyway, right? Right?) But then her drawings - bright, childlike, sly and witty - poke the bubble of self-pity or gloom that a lesser artist might evoke. I can laugh again at my own situation, at the absurdity of it all, without feeling the pressure to lie to myself. Not "All fixed now", but "this too shall pass."

*****

I can't end this post without a nod to

angearia 's "My Depression, My Hero" - the first meta about depression I read in this fandom that made the small still voice inside my heart whisper "That's me"; and it's companion piece on depression and creativity (with nifty Parks and Rec gifs!) Emmie's work has been a huge influence on my own writing here, not necessarily in terms of style but moreso subject matter and the simple motivation necessary to speak courageously from the heart.

Also I will never pass up a chance to pimp her stuff, or

eilowyn's, because I'm always encountering new or even veteran buffyverse fans who have not heard of them yet. (Come to that, there are people in fandom I've talked to who have never ever heard of

the_royal_anna. How the hell is that even possible? You could sooner explain to me just how many angels do indeed dance on the head of that damned pin.) This is clearly an error that must be corrected, one fan at a time if necessarily.

When I posted some of my favorite meta for 2012 on the buffyverse top5 last month, I wrote that I hoped for more of the same high-caliber meta in 2013. Wish, granted:

"Why the Buffyverse?" by

lostboy_lj Inspired by

shapinglight 's "fanfic musings" (inspired in turn by

brutti_ma_buoni .... and so it goes. You get the idea.) He takes on the question why is anyone still writing Buffy fanfic at all?

"The Monomythology of Buffy" also by by

lostboy_lj This is already on my best meta of 2013 list. Absolutely essential reading: Buffy's journey through the lens of Joseph Campbell's "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" - a Cliff Notes version but a hell of a lot smarter, and with pretty visual aids. One of lostboy's talents is laying out complex ideas boiled down to their essential components, with a great deal of wit. I've been linking to this on convo threads all over the place as if it was Apocalypse Season.

Speaking of must-read meta: a conversation between

lostboy_lj and

local_max on the Monomythology post inspired max's musings about Ben's literal and figurative role in S5 as a "illusory comfort" and representative of the medical establishment, how he tries to placate Buffy regarding her mother's illness, and how he "self-medicates" to keep the reality of Glory at bay: it’s consistent with a pattern of Ben: he uses deception to placate Buffy (and others) into believing that a real problem, whether it be Glory, the string of crazy people in her wake, or Joyce’s upcoming death (though Ben is not actually aware of the last one), is not a real problem. Don’t sweat it, no need to prepare (though, it’s not as if preparation is possible): your problem is in good hands. As per usual with max, penetrating intelligence, personal honesty, compassion and intellect come together in a fascinating consideration of a "key" (pun intended) but oft-overlooked character.

And of a more general nature (not specific to this fandom),

angearia has a thing or two to say about "authorial intent" and the complexity of determining who the "author" is, especially in a work such as BtVS in which there are so many hands, so many voices involved in it's creation (writers, producers, actors); a question further complicated (and multiplied to the nth degree) by the presence/participation of the readers/viewers as co-creators of a give work. She argues passionately that "the reader" is also an author - and no greater example of this can be found than btvs fandom as we engage with the series over time, emotionally and intellectually. Long live the Revolution, indeed.

FYI: I am procrastinating on my "Ted" meta for the Big Damn Lovefest, and everything else on my to-do list, like a mad thing. Pain from a recent injury is about to do me in.

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My Entries for Round 5 of btvsats20in20: A Muted Rainbow of Buffyverse Women starring Buffy Summers
GRANT HER CONSOLATION: Tara artwork (alts/extras Round 3)
Poster for Velvetwhip's Mr Gordo fic, "Soft and Pink and Very Sad"
SLOW LIKE A TORTOISE: Whilst I try to come back into the fandom swing of things...
My Entries for Round 3 of btvsats20in20: TARA MACLAY, A WOMAN FOR ALL SEASONS
If you did something useful and constructive today....
I promised you alts and extras, alts and extras you shall have....BUT FIRST a word from our sponsors
My entries for Round 1 of btvsats20in20, plus extras: (The not really-real) Buffy Summers
Vote now at btvs_hush challenge #273 - and oh, nostalgia, I can live without ya
An icon treasure-trove (because I hate the phrase "icon dump") : Slayerstillness challenge 23
Made to Order: WInners of the Otherworldlyric challenge 171 and my entries
Do you know how some things look great at 300 pixels but at 100, not so much?
Happy Birthday spike_1790 & desoto_hia873
I'm Pimping as Fast as I Can: Perspectives on Depression from Eilowyn, Allie Brosh, and Angearia
"Blood Ties"
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Style: Ivory Alcea for Mobility by branchandroot
Resources: Mitsuba Aoi

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Entries tagged with setting: s5

My Entries for Round 5 of btvsats20in20: A Muted Rainbow of Buffyverse Women starring Buffy Summers

GRANT HER CONSOLATION: Tara artwork (alts/extras Round 3)

Poster for Velvetwhip's Mr Gordo fic, "Soft and Pink and Very Sad"

SLOW LIKE A TORTOISE: Whilst I try to come back into the fandom swing of things...

My Entries for Round 3 of btvsats20in20: TARA MACLAY, A WOMAN FOR ALL SEASONS

If you did something useful and constructive today....

I promised you alts and extras, alts and extras you shall have....BUT FIRST a word from our sponsors

My entries for Round 1 of btvsats20in20, plus extras: (The not really-real) Buffy Summers

Vote now at btvs_hush challenge #273 - and oh, nostalgia, I can live without ya

An icon treasure-trove (because I hate the phrase "icon dump") : Slayerstillness challenge 23

Made to Order: WInners of the Otherworldlyric challenge 171 and my entries

Do you know how some things look great at 300 pixels but at 100, not so much?

Happy Birthday spike_1790 & desoto_hia873

I'm Pimping as Fast as I Can: Perspectives on Depression from Eilowyn, Allie Brosh, and Angearia

"Blood Ties"

Meta Much More - or, Recent Fandom Reading

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