red_satin_doll: (Smile)
[personal profile] red_satin_doll


1) One of my dear friends gave me a paid account through 2016. (2016, y'all!) AND...

2) A second dear friend here in this fandom offered to extend my paid account and was ready to do so, AND...

3) Another beloved friend would if they could, AND....


I am really just stunned by the love and generosity of my friends here, I hardly know what to say except "THANK YOU." Thank you, thank you - and there WILL be polls, I swear! I will take advantage of that feature! (And I don't have to give up any of my userpics! *flings confetti*)

 When I first got into this fandom a couple of years ago I wished that I was "part of the crowd", or  that I'd been in fandom "back in the day" thinking I'd missed something. No. I'm right where I need to be when I need to be.  It's not about being part of a "clique", it's about clicking with people because we like and respect and love one another. I'm really not sure how I've been lucky enough to find so many wonderful friends here - who are as "real" to me as any so-called "real life friends"; you ARE my friends, full stop.) But I'm ever so grateful to have found my way here.

350_10169535-ca2c-43f8-a80d-0a322b0156df_zpsea0a21c1e041a6ed-2ec3-450b-b480-83470e9284bf_zps1b7f617d

I wish I could pay this forward to someone else and feel mortified that I'm unable to now. Especially for two of my lovely homegirls [livejournal.com profile] kikimay (who has a basic account and would like a paid account) and [livejournal.com profile] clockwork_hart1 (whose gift account will be expiring very soon.) Since I can't do myself, perhaps someone else can?

BTW [livejournal.com profile] clockwork_hart1 casually mentioned that she wanted to write a meta about the Gift/Chosen and why she prefers Chosen as the ending to Buffy's story - and then posted it today, "The Hardest Thing in this World is to Live in It.". She's passionate and articulate and right-on; and I just want to pump my fist in the air and shout "YES!" As she said to me one time "I don't want Buffy's legacy to be the hole she leaves in the ground." This meta also goes into why female martyrdom as a plot device is deeply problemmatic. Go read it.

I AM ALSO CRYING BECAUSE....

4) I finally read [livejournal.com profile] velvetwhip's fic "Soft and Pink and So Very Sad" and it's one of the loveliest things I've ever read. Mr Gordo, post-The Gift. Gabrielle rec'd it to me as one of her own favorites and I'm glad she did. She should be proud of it, it's a heartbreaker. Grief and confusion, the ways our identity is tied up in someone else, but also powerlessness - it's a theme that the show often touches upon but Gabrielle's story takes it to the limit. This is how absolute helplessness feels, in the person of a stuffed pink pig.
So ok, maybe not such happy tears with that one but more it feels good to cry, knowhatimean? (Euclid approves as well - he thinks she got Mr Gordon's voice exactly right. He's quite particular about such things.)

It makes an oddly appropriate thematic pairing with [livejournal.com profile] beer_good_foamy's S6 fic "Building Character" . Yes, it does. Read them both, then think about it a moment...I'll wait...See what I mean?

Date: 2014-07-11 08:39 am (UTC)
debris4spike: (Giles)
From: [personal profile] debris4spike
I liked early Giles ... but his attitude after Buffy's resurrection, despite knowing she had a house falling apart, no job, and Willow had just done another spell ... yet still he left.

He was her father and her watcher - that is when you stick by things .... not leave people to "grow up".

I know that smile was a positive end ... she had her life open, but I do wonder when all she had been though were crash back ... and then the sadness of season 6 would return, as she hadn't had the support at that time ???

Date: 2014-07-11 01:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] red-satin-doll.livejournal.com
Maybe you would like the comics for the fact that *spoiler* Angel snaps Giles' neck in S8. And then he comes back in the Angel and Faith and now the Buffy S10 title as a 12 year old. (Don't try to understand, you'll only be frustrated trust me.)

that is when you stick by things .... not leave people to "grow up".

Which makes me wonder about his upbringing - I think he only mentions his family once, very early in the series, and there's no sense of affection or warmth, only duty. And speaking of, whither thou Hank Summers? His child is "difficult" so he goes off and sucks his psychological thumb by abandoning her? Or what about Riley ("what about my needs?") Finn? I know some fans hate that pattern in the show but for me? Welcome to my world because that has been my experience.

One of the things that connects these to my mind is the fact that in each instance the men have the resources that allow them to walk away - income, home, a safety net. They have the ability to walk away even in the financial sense. Buffy doesn't. Men can walk away and it's accepted. A woman who "abandons" her duties or leaves her children, even for the best reasons and in the best care (knowing she can't etc) is seen as less-than at best or monstrous at worst.

but I do wonder when all she had been though were crash back ... and then the sadness of season 6 would return, as she hadn't had the support at that time ???

That is a really excellent point and the answer to that IMO is "yes of course" - at least until she's gotten a ton of therapy and time and space to work through her issues, to just breathe.(Why are there no Buffy in therapy post series fics? Unless it's Buffy grieving over Spike fics but what about the wider picture?)

I'm not sure if it would return to the same intensity, it would depend partly on her situation in life at the time. But the pattern is there. (I wonder about Hank - he deals with stress by abandoning his children and screaming at his wife; Joyce deals by a combination of silence, denial and alcohol (Dead Man's Party). Not really a picture of mental health, the Summers family.

It's part of my issue with As You Were and why the notion of Riley as the picture of mental health is such a laugh He's done absolutely zero to deal with his issues, went running back to the initiative and his old hero solider persona (and support system which was based on lies and deceptions to begin with), married Sam within a year of leaving Buffy, etc (velvetwhip covers this ground admirably in her fic "Civilian"). And yet we're supposed to see him as nicely sorted when he returns? I think not.

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