HAPPY BIRTH MONTH BUFFY!

[red_satin_doll]

A bit of (free) advice for the belated birthday girl:

Dear Buffy,

If THIS is your lesbian best friend's idea of a vibrator...then it's probably time to get yourself some more lesbian friends.

For that matter, it's probably time your lesbian friend got herself some more lesbian friends.




And they say I'm off my game...what the hell am I supposed to do with this on patrol, massage the demons to death?

****************

My friend wickedbish and the folks at the Sunnydale Herald reminded me that Sunday the 19th (more or less) was Buffy Summer's 33rd birthday.
(The really-real Buffy, of course. Accept no substitutes.)

I like to think that where ever in the world Buffy might be, she'd be enjoying herself right now, doing what she does best: dancing, fighting, fucking; treating herself to a spa day with Dawn in Rome; watching the sun rise to greet yet another day she'd never thought she live long enough to see.

Falling a little in love with the light every where she goes in the world. Visiting Paris because her mother had longed to as a young woman, before babies and her husband's career got in the way - and steadfastly avoiding the Eiffel Tower. (There's facing your fears, Buffy decides, and then there's masochism. Buffy isn't a masochist anymore.)

Wondering what tomorrow will bring and marveling that she can conceptualize "tomorrow". Leading an army into battle, or counseling a single girl in the privacy of her office. (She doesn't spend a lot of time in her office, but she likes knowing it's there. And that it has a great view of the Thames, a sturdy lock on the door; and a dent in the wall next to the file cabinet that a certain someone made when the two of them were...hence the lock on the door.)

Still saving, and changing, the world - with a little help from her friends.

She's saved my life this year - a lot: helped me process and deal with immediate traumas and distant ghosts; offered me a safe space to laugh, to grieve, and sometimes a haven from "real world" cares for a little bit. I've found support, encouragement, and connection, even if I've had to bite my tongue or wanted to tear my hair out at times. (Admit it : we've all been there.) She opened the door to this little corner of the universe called "buffyverse fandom" that is comforting, confounding and glorious, much like Buffy herself.

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

What a beautiful tribute to Buffy!


Gabrielle

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It was three times as long originally and I finally said - forget the excess verbiage make it short and sweet. I'm so glad it turned out ok.

[spikesjojo.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes - this is so beautiful, real and true!! I've dealt with a lot in these past years. I think I've been kinda crazy - at least at the beginning. That's when Katie turned me on to Buffy, and this show has seen me through so much. As much as that, you, all my LJ friends who understand this show and therefore understand an important part of me have kept me going when life just fell apart for me. And Buffy kept me going too - because she faced so much, and she kept coming back for more - not because she wanted to but because it needed to be done. Thank you, for the chance to realize this.

Oh, and as for the massager, I owned one of those and it does come with a warning not to use on fingers and hair. I have to say it took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize exactly what that warning meant.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Oh hon I swear I will respond to your GORGEOUS remarks right after I stop laughing my butt off and can breath again. (I'm not kidding. Hair? Oh OUCH! And I'm afraid to even think about the fingers.....)

As much as that, you, all my LJ friends who understand this show and therefore understand an important part of me have kept me going when life just fell apart for me.

Oh so much so! I think that's something I have to keep reminding myself - we are all so protective of our favorite characters because they represent us, or in one way or another mean so much to us; so when we (I) criticize (by which I mean "mean-spirited bashing" not "thoughtful, well-balanced & considerate critiques" - of course) there's someone else at the other end who feels very personally about it.

And that's just an odd thing to me because no other fictional story has ever held that power. At the end of the day what it brings us (and we bring to each other) trumps everything else, doesn't it?

Buffy kept me going too - because she faced so much, and she kept coming back for more - not because she wanted to but because it needed to be done.

YES, THANK YOU for this! I can never sum up what I feel about Buffy in a nutshell (single sentence) and you just did it for me. :)

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

:)

I really don't have anything clever to say today.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

No need, sweetie - your presence is enough! The fact that anyone reads my posts let alone stop by and say hi is a tremendous gift.

*HUGS YOU*

[kikimay]

THIS THIS THIS.
You are able to write some amazing tributes, you know? This one is lovely and everything we want for our girl. She also helped me a lot and she still does it. Currently I'm rewatching BtVS because it's my comfort food and watching Buffy struggle with smaller and bigger problems makes me feel in good company. Thanks Buffster and happy birthday!

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

*BLUSHES* Thank you for your kind words, kiki!

It means a lot that you and other folks like this because I had this post sitting unfinished for over a week - I was going to do links to other people's stuff, then I wanted to post an OAFA fanfic but can't find the draft amoung my worse-for-wear-from-the-fire notebooks *pouts*. What I wrote I actually borrowed somewhat off the top of my head from other "fic" I've written - it was frustrating.

So I'm glad it came across ok. I keep having to remind myself "As in all aspects of Slayerhood, simplest is usually best."

Currently I'm rewatching BtVS because it's my comfort food and watching Buffy struggle with smaller and bigger problems makes me feel in good company.

Where are you in your rewatch? Are you going forward chronologically or skipping around?

[gillo]

Lovely. I hope Buffy had a very good Reason to lock her door on her birthday. ;-)

I was very careful in my choice of quotation for the Herald last weekend. I'm glad you enjoyed the reminder.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I hope Buffy had a very good Reason to lock her door on her birthday.

But of course!

And whoever folks like to imagine her with (I wonder who that could be...hmmm) with is cool by me, ergo the ambiguity. My MO is basically, I want Buffy to be happy, I want for herself what she might want for herself. Ok. Except maybe Xander. And Giles. definitely not Riley, oh no. And really not so much Angel unless Spike's along for the ride too.

Ok, so that does narrow the field a bit....

I was very careful in my choice of quotation for the Herald last weekend.

Eh? I only remember the note that the 19th was her birthday, which wickedbish had reminded me of weeks ago. Mind like a sieve over here. Was there a "controversy"?

[kathyh]

That's lovely. Buffy has been so important to so many people.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the kind words, hon! And yes indeed, she has; and the fact that she still matters to so many people, that she's still drawing in new fans (like myself) is pretty amazing.

I like to think that Buffy would be astonished by this but also pleased and not just a little flattered.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

33? Wow.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

33? Wow.

That's what the su_herald notice said (I never would have figured that out on my own - me and math are not mixy things.)

Thank you for stopping by!

[snogged.livejournal.com]

This is a fantastic tribute!

I wish all these things for Buffy too.

Happy Birthday to the best damn Slayer in the 'verse.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday to the best damn Slayer in the 'verse.

Speak to my soul!

[rahirah]

:applause:

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Ok - YOU are applauding ME? I just - I have no words Barb, honestly, except Thank You! *faints*

[angelus2hot]

Beautifully written!

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Wow! Thank you ever so much!

[chasingdemons.livejournal.com]

What a beautiful vision of who she is today. I'm going to go with that version because it makes me feel good.

I've had times watching an episode and thinking if Buffy can get through this with such grace and courage, I can get through my challenges too. Honestly, it's helped my change my attitude on several occasions. So glad she could help you too. xxx

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I'm going to go with that version because it makes me feel good.

And also because my version is the correct one, of course. *lol*

if Buffy can get through this with such grace and courage

and those are two of my favorite words when I think about Buffy. (I may need to add them to an icon *ponders*)

Honestly, it's helped my change my attitude on several occasions.

The same here - and it seems really kind of strange (fictional character and all that) but there have been times when I've been depressed or upset and then thought "Buffy had to dig her way out of her own grave - PERSPECTIVE." And it really does help. That's what heros do for us, I think - or at least the "modern" understanding of a hero; not to be perfect and make us feel inferior but remind us of what we are capable of however flawed we are.

And thank you very much for the kind words!

[baudown.livejournal.com]

I think she helps me in some way every day.

I would love for this to be her life now -- she deserves it, and more.

Thanks for a wonderful birthday tribute.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I'm really amazed and delighted at how many other people love Buffy too - it makes me realize I'm not "alone" - in loving her OR in why she helps me and what we all share. which is pretty special.

Yes, I tend to have a very optimistc view of her life now - because, as you say, she deserves it. And I think she's capable of handling her life after Sunnydale with real maturity and grace.

[anactoria.livejournal.com]

What a lovely post! Made me smile. :)

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Ah thank you hon! *blushes*

All the Shakespeareos was one of my favorite things this year - superbly written - it actually helped me rediscover some of my fondness for Spike (and "Spuffy"). So. I'm really pleased you liked this.

Thursday, January 30

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

User rahirah referenced to your post from Thursday, January 30 (http://su-herald.livejournal.com/704034.html) saying: [...] HAPPY BIRTH MONTH BUFFY! [...]

[wickedbish.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty goddamn emotional lately anyway, but this seriously almost made me cry like a bitch.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I didn't mean to make anybody cry so - hurrah for me?

And I'm really glad you liked this, sweetie, that means a lot.

[shapinglight]

Lovely tribute to Buffy. She deserves that sort of happiness. She's helped so many of us.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

She deserves that sort of happiness. She's helped so many of us.

Oh indeed she does. thank you for the kind words, it means a lot to me - totally unexpected!

[comlodge.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I've been stuck with my fic. I've been bogged in RL stuff, bother it but it has to be lived, and lost my feeling for Buffy. You've helped me find her with your words and images of where she is now.
I've said it before but you do write lovely meta that makes one think.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

You've helped me find her with your words and images of where she is now.

That's what I do! *lol* (I'm honestly honored if anything I write inspires anyone, especially when it comes to my beloved Miss Summers. That's really a big deal for me and such a compliment you have no idea.)

I'm really touched by your comments, my dear - I've not been very inspired or "writerly" myself at all lately (but I've done over a hundred icons in the past couple of weeks, go figure.) So I confess that nearly all of what I wrote here I "borrowed" from my memory of some post-Chosen fic I wrote back in September/October when I was super-inspired. I guess if I were more organized or ambitious I could have a lot of proper fics posted. (Should I try to write proper fics? Or should I keep doing this odd sort of hybrid writing?)

But the irony is, a lot of the fic I write is very "meta" anyway - where I imagined or "felt" Buffy to be - and at least one story I worked on started as a meta so...no clear demarcations for me, apparently.

And here's a hug - just because.

[mcjulie.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!

And as for that vibrator -- now that I think about it, I guess on some level I always assumed that was a nod to the censors, and that the audience might be meant to imagine a different kind of vibrator.

Of course, this is also Willow we're talking about...

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Well after Smashed...

I actually assumed that the "joke" is being played fairly straight on two levels: obviously Buffy and Spike - and the audience - are reading a double meaning into it; and it fits the theme of "everyone is off their game". (WIllow's been on patrol - she led them over the summer, so she should know better.)

this is also Willow we're talking about...

And people say Buffy is oblivious. *lol*

[clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com]

Well, I got here eventually... This is.. You are totally right that I would love it because I completely do.

33? Wow, that's pretty amazing - our girl made it to 33 (holy crap, how old is Dawnie now?). And I love the idea of her running around Europe, falling in love with the world (and the light), happy and free - no more masochism indeed - with her family, with her friends, with lovers, and most importantly, with herself.

What you've described here? This isn't just what I want for Buffy, this is what I want for myself (especially the bit with the office looking out at the Thames. I love being near the river and my best friend lives right on the banks so it gives me more reasons to love her - and hate her, but I already have a long list about that - so next time we go out for lunch down by Embankment (her coffee, me tea,) I'll be thinking about Buffy, looking down on us and being happy).

She's saved my life this year - a lot: helped me process and deal with immediate traumas and distant ghosts; offered me a safe space to laugh, to grieve, and sometimes a haven from "real world" cares for a little bit. I've found support, encouragement, and connection, even if I've had to bite my tongue or wanted to tear my hair out at times. (Admit it : we've all been there.) She opened the door to this little corner of the universe called "buffyverse fandom" that is comforting, confounding and glorious, much like Buffy herself.

This whole paragraph here is perfect. And we chat about these things all the time; about how she saved us, through the show, through new-found friends *points at you*, through fanworks and I'm sure a thousand other ways. Buffy not only offered respite from my pains and worries (hospital writing ftw!), but she gave me someone to identify with. She gave me a smart, powerful woman who struggled with the same things I did (depression, love, loss, heartbreak, abandonment, growing up with a world on my shoulders so heavy I forgot I was so small), and she did it with grace. She suffered, of course she did; she hurt, she made bad decisions - she made human decisions. And despite what the writers try to pull, no one will ever tell me different. If Buffy can do it, so can I.

Everybody's comments, all their stories, they give me hope. I love all you guys so much. This fandom is my favourite of them all.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, I'm so glad you like it! And I'm so pleased that the description of Buffy's office rings true to you - I swiped that from a fanfic draft I did a few months back, imagining her life after Chosen (she also has a flat in London...with a lock on the door - and nobody else's name on the lease. I think she'd want a place that was entirely her own.)

But I had NO idea if any office buildings actually overlook the Thames! I just made an educated guess (London is a big modern city so there MUST be office buildings overlooking the Thames), and figured my friends in the UK would ding me if I got anything wrong. So the fact that's got your seal of approval pleases me so much.

And your description of lunch times with your friend and Buffy looking down on you on the two of you? OH GOODNESS THIS MAKES ME SMILE ALL THE WAY TO MY INSIDES.

BTW - I'm a tea drinker (not coffee) too! Do you prefer any particular varieties? I drink all sorts - except earl grey. Buffy however is a coffee drinker like your friend.)

(holy crap, how old is Dawnie now?).</>

Um....how old was she by the end of the series? In my head she's 17 (it doesn't help that her birthday isn't celebrated on the show. In fact the ONLY person whose b'day is shown besides Buffy is Tara. Huh.) I don't know if that's accurate or not but 25 - 27 seems a safe range?

she gave me someone to identify with. She gave me a smart, powerful woman who struggled with the same things I did (depression, love, loss, heartbreak, abandonment, growing up with a world on my shoulders so heavy I forgot I was so small), and she did it with grace. She suffered, of course she did; she hurt, she made bad decisions - she made human decisions. And despite what the writers try to pull, no one will ever tell me different. If Buffy can do it, so can I.

YES TO EVERY WORD OF THIS.

I think - I KNOW - I would have had a much more difficult time getting through the housefire, and through the pain that kept me housebound this past year, without Buffy and her friends to write about, to identify with; to offer examples of strength, intelligence, love and incredible endurance; without the support of friends (like you!) and so many people in this fandom to connect with.

Our fandom is a good fandom.

ETA - I have no idea why my last paragraphs are showing up in italics. Oh LJ you do bedevil me....