My Corner of Buffyverse Fandom and Welcome To It

[red_satin_doll]

Click on all images below to view full-size (They don't look at all right downsized. 'tis most distressing.) All artwork by me unless otherwise noted.






Gift from my amazing friend and a jewel of this fandom spikesredqueen for my birthday (Feb 2015, not snaggable)




       

"Winged Buffy" banner, a gift from the fantastically talented and generous comlodge, (June 2013, not snaggable)

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*My LJ is Hugs Central (mostly.)  Appropriate and consensual ones, of course. Safety and fun are at a premium here, so play nice with one another. Leave the weapons at the door, wipe your feet on the mat, and help yourself to some tea and homemade cookies.

...by any other name. (June 2014)

* Buffy is my Big Damn Hero and my #1 HBIC - because she's flawed and human and real. Because she loves deeply; she falls down but still fights, she grieves and endures, again and again. Because she breaks the rules and finds another way; because of her intelligence, intuition and wit. Because in watching her I identify with my own issues and strengths, and have a renewed appreciation for my mom as well.

* Because in talking about her with other fans, in telling my story through her, in voicing my truth, I discover that I'm not alone in my challenges, faults, and grief; that I don't have to be imprisoned by secrets and shame; and in sharing this, I can bring comfort to others. And because at the end of the day, Buffy gives me hope; and sometimes that's enough to make getting out of bed in the morning worthwhile. And because she is just so freakin' adorable, y'all.

 

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Keep Her Safe (alt 1) (March 2015)

* I love intelligent discussion of , and appreciation for , the ladies of the verse and their complex interrelationships  at the core of the 'verse: mothers, sisters, mentors, students, friends, lovers, enemies, allies. The Buffyverse without it's women would be a cold, barren place:  ("that bright optimism that becomes a great, raw wound-red in The Body" - the_royal_anna ). They bear witness to one another, the hurt one another when they don't mean to, they love even when it's difficult and painful to do so.

* And yes, this also includes Kennedy. No vitriol. No joke.  (Tara would not approve of the hate. A lot of the complaints I've seen about her are suspicously close to those lobbed at Buffy, btw.) Entitled? Yes. Arrogant? Uh-huh - and also loyal, courageous, stubborn and gentle. She's a "queer woman of color..that is allowed to be the hero."

* The Buffy & Tara friendship/connection is one of the most underappreciated aspects of the 'verse IMO. This WILL be rectified. I don't ship Buffy/Tara, but if that's what it takes to get fandom talking about them? A fangirl's gotta do what a fangirl's gotta do. (ETA 2014: I have seen the light of the true religion: Buffy/Tara shipping. I ship those girls so freakin' hard. Now say amen, somebody.)

My OTF/P (August 2014)

*In fact, let's just say "No bashing female characters, period." There's plenty of other places to do that, if that's your thing. The show's failures in terms of the depictions of women, of female sexuality, the lack of mature female characters, the massive fail in terms of race and class? Always up for intelligent, civil discussion and examination.

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* OTOH, I do reserve the right to bitch about call out their shit criticize objectively analyze and take issue with certain whiny, self-absorbed males on the series and their collective patronizing jackassery. Don't get me wrong, I can understand them, sympathize with them, and so forth. Xander trying to be a "better man" than his father? Even when he gets it wrong? I heartily approve. (I'll still call him out on his shit, though.) It's simple math: Grow up, get real or go home. Also I welcome any and every opportunity to make fun of Angel.  Particularly when penguins are involved.  As well they should be.

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I Walk Alone, another beautiful gift from comlodge based on her FFL picspam series for Round 18 of seasonal_spuffy.


 

* I 'ship Buffy&Spike S7 . Love in action is the hardest, most painful and most worthwhile work we can ever do - and IMO it trumps "true love" romantic fantasies every time. (That said, I fully support the right to ship Buffy with anyone you damn well please.) But he is not my central focus here. Nor are any of the men of the 'verse, except in terms of how they serve Buffy's story.  It turns out the protagonist of the "Buffyverse" is some gal named Buffy.  Weird, huh?

Comments

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much hon for stopping by! Have you read my Buffy & Tara meta yet from the other day? I'm really very pleased with the response it's gotten. fray_adjacent even created some new female centric icons like the "Family" one I'm using right now. there are fans interested in the ladies, it's just so easy to fall into the same old riffs (ie Buffy & Spike, etc) Even I'm guilty of it.

I just scrolled down to the comments and I see YOU commenting on that fic. OF COURSE.

The funny thing is I'd forgotten that until just now - it was almost a year ago that I commented. (And I was the only person to comment - which proves my POINT! This cannot stand.) But I had forgotten about it, isn't that awful? I should do a Buffy & Tara rec list. It's hard ruuger asked for some recs on the subject a few months back and I didn't have much to offer. On AO3 when i put in Buffy/Tara I got 25 fics the other day. Put them in as individual characters and you get all the thousands of fics that happen to have both of them listed but don't necessary have them interacting with each other. I love the balance of the two of them.

And I'm puzzled - "Tara and Spike" or "Tara/Spike" shows up a lot more in fandom. Which sort of confirms for me the fact that a lot of people don't like Buffy, but also I think that people see Tara as being more traditionally feminine, "nicer" and therefore a more appropriate partner for Spike? But "niceness" has a cost. If any one of the ladies in the verse - as in real life - swallow their anger, surpress it, they're "closed off", they're not feminine enough, If they express their anger they're told they don't have a right to be angry, that they're not feminine enough.

I actually have a first (very rough) draft of a B/T fic, which I promised laynoyee first glance at, as she inspired it in our conversations. If you haven't visited her LJ or tumblr, please do; she's wonderful to talk and brainstorm with re: Buffy, Dawn, Tara etc.

I didn't plan to link to your meta so often here but it just sort of happened? (I had really meant to do a little birthday gift for you weeks ago and - didn't. My bad. The image of Buffy & Tara from OAFA I used the other day was originally supposed to be for you. *gulp*) Your meta on Buffy and depression has been on my mind a LOT lately, and I've reread it several times because it really resonates with me very strongly, but also I find myself coming up against the same sorts of things that inspired you to write it in the first place. I always wonder, do I have the same sort of courage Emmie had? Am I ready to fight for Buffy, and in doing so fight for all of us who love and identify with her? I hope so, but I doubt myself a lot.

Coincidentally, I finally read your essay on Berthe Morisot; I love (feminist) art history but I hadn't taken the time before, I think because I was seeing that painting as rather ordinary "image of a woman at her toilette" that the male artists of the day so loved to do. I hadn't ever taken the time to deconstruct it as you have. I'll have to post my thoughts over there when I've got a better hold of them in my head.

(Wow, this post has now led to me looking into old meta posts and comments on my friends journals from, like, 2010.)

I'm always commenting on old posts and old fanfics. I think of the internet as the biggest library in the world.

[angearia.livejournal.com]

I haven't read it yet, alas! I've been a bit mentally exhausted, but it's on my list, it just my take me awhile. :)

The funny thing is I'd forgotten that until just now - it was almost a year ago that I commented. (And I was the only person to comment - which proves my POINT! This cannot stand.)

Thankfully, Jamie got loads of comments from the Bechdel Comment Ficathon where it was originally posted. And that's actually her first fic she'd ever written (and I remember tempting her into giving this a go? So part of me wants to TAKE CREDIT lol but no she's brilliant), so she might not have been on folks' radars yet. But still, it's glorious and more people should read it.

And I'm puzzled - "Tara and Spike" or "Tara/Spike" shows up a lot more in fandom

You know what, tho? I imagine that's because Tara and Spike were the partners on the receiving end of abuse (at least, if one fails to recognize how equally bad Buffy and Spike were to each other). So I imagine it's very much 'these two deserve better and they deserve better together'. I think it probably is more about the traditionally feminine too inasmuch as Tara's more open emotionally and very emotionally supportive (I think she views this as her function, what she has to offer). Sigh.

I didn't plan to link to your meta so often here but it just sort of happened?

Aw that requires no apology. It's very flattering! And thank you for thinking of me on my birthday. No worries about prezzies. <3

I think when it comes to writing, that honesty and openness can be a hard place to reach, but that it's a courage found through surrender and acceptance. Looking back, part of the reason I was able to write that when I did was because I felt I'd turned a corner in my life. Climbing back to my feet. And writing that was a part of standing again. And perhaps the most shocking turn was that as I waited for the first comments to my essay, worrying that people would be uncomfortable or look at me in a negative light, instead I found an immense solidarity and meeting of minds and hearts. My being open brought others to be open. When I go back to read those comments, it still gets to me -- there's a powerful and moving intimacy captured there.

I hope you do find your time and place to write. I'm in your corner looking forward to reading it, of course.

Coincidentally, I finally read your essay on Berthe Morisot; I love (feminist) art history but I hadn't taken the time before, I think because I was seeing that painting as rather ordinary "image of a woman at her toilette" that the male artists of the day so loved to do. I hadn't ever taken the time to deconstruct it as you have. I'll have to post my thoughts over there when I've got a better hold of them in my head.

OH. See, I cannot get enough of this subject! Please throw your thoughts and feels my way, if you're so inspired. I'm an eager audience. :D

INTERNET LIBRARY. BEST. It's a bit like discovering boxes and boxes of old letters between friends, isn't it?

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I imagine that's because Tara and Spike were the partners on the receiving end of abuse (at least, if one fails to recognize how equally bad Buffy and Spike were to each other).

Oh and THAT just puzzles me to no end. W/T does not = B/S, although the relationships are paralle, they are not the exact same power dynamic. I said a while back on one of my earlier metas that I thought the B/S relationship was mutually abusive (but they are both consenting participants in a very unhealthy dynamic); while Willow/Tara are coded as being somewhat more similar to the common cultural conception of abusive relationships: the stronger abuser/weaker victim scenario. (Which is true in many instances but is not the whole truth.)

I got in a lot of trouble and had to backtrack a bit, but I still believe it's true. What's done to Tara is done behind her back, and we're told that Willow is more powerful (stronger) in her magicks. I think at the time the other person thought I was dissing Willow, which I wasn't. I understand and on some level sympathize with all of them; I've been on both sides of the equation (quadrangle?)

I also thought that depicting a lesbian relationship in which abuse occurs was very brave at the time and have gotten in trouble for saying that as well. but it's the dirty little secret - I was shocked 20 years ago when a friend told me she was raped by another woman because I had no idea women (much less lesbians) were capable of such things. I still believed the idealized version.

Sorry, that was a tangent, wasn't it?

BTW, I've been having some interesting conversations with spuffy_luvr and eilowyn about Spike/Tara shipping. It's a subject I've been afraid to broach but am finally drawing up the courage to tackle, because it's connected to larger issues re: sexual orientation and the ways we categorize relationships and sexuality in fandom and culturally.
http://red-satin-doll.livejournal.com/17902.html?thread=378094#t378094
http://red-satin-doll.livejournal.com/18670.html?view=411374#t411374

Looking back, part of the reason I was able to write that when I did was because I felt I'd turned a corner in my life. Climbing back to my feet. And writing that was a part of standing again. And perhaps the most shocking turn was that as I waited for the first comments to my essay, worrying that people would be uncomfortable or look at me in a negative light, instead I found an immense solidarity and meeting of minds and hearts. My being open brought others to be open.

YES. This is very much what I've experienced, it's just having the courage to take that first step (or in my case, taking first steps, getting bit in the ass - or at least bruised - withdrawing, until the isolation is unbearable and I take another step out. If that makes sense?) Today I was talking to fray_adjacent12 and rec'ing your essay alongside Allie's Brosh's "Depression Pt 2" on Hyperbole and a Half. Have you read it? Superb and funny description of depression and she nails it to a T.

I've wondered, rereading your essay (and it's companion piece on depression and creativity), how things have gone since then in terms of your depression; has it been a case of a corner permanently turned, or revisited now and then? In my own case, I have a hard time remembering "this too shall pass" when I'm either up or down, although I can very easily remind others of the same.

I'm in your corner looking forward to reading it, of course.

*hugs* that means a lot to me, thank you.

It's a bit like discovering boxes and boxes of old letters between friends, isn't it?

Yes, exactly! I've always had a love for old books, letters, documents, bits and pieces that bear the marks of lives lived before my time that I can only guess at.