The Earth Her Body - Fic by La Noyee, (and random thoughts about the women of the 'verse) (1/?)

[red_satin_doll]

ETA: Additional screencaps added below cut - which has also been added. (Post in haste, repent at leisure.)

Take a Moment: by   lanoyee. Gen, Buffy, Tara, Dawn. A "deleted scene" , post-"Grave"; Buffy bids a friend good-bye. Spare, elegant and melancholy, it's a scene I wish had been in the show.  One of the things I love best about BtVS is how unsentimental it is generally, but sometimes, what I want and what I need are one and the same; no one else can determine that for me. This story gives me both, and it honors one of the most overlooked friendships in the Buffyerse: Buffy and Tara.

lanoyee  recently began transferring some of her female-centric & Buffy-centric meta from her tumblr to her LJ because I begged at my request. In our conversations about one of our favorite shared subjects, the interrelationships of the women on BtVS, the same words kept coming up over and over: overlooked, underestimated, underappreciated, etc. When it comes to Buffy especially, her relationships with other women generate a lot less ink, as far as I can tell, than her relationships with the men in her life; it's easy to forget how central Joyce, Dawn, Willow, Faith etc are to Buffy's story, to her heart. Spike and Angel may be in her heart; Joyce and Dawn are her heart, they are her blood. And yet at the same time the show demonstrates that importance of "not in blood but in bond" relationships, to quote Kikimay's recent comment.


"Take a Moment" was written shortly after a conversation lanoyee & I had about Buffy & Tara in particular, i.e. Why doesn't anyone talk about their relationship? About Tara's role in Buffy's story? Because it's not something I need to fanwank out of thin air, or squint to see: It's right there onscreen; they have a connection to one another that Buffy never shares with Anya, or at least until "Selfless" brings the "Xander's Lie" arc full circle. pocochina thankfully mentions their connection in her 2011 meta character study of Tara, summing it up in quick, vivid strokes in just two paragraphs.

I'd call Buffy & Tara my OTF (one true friendship) except that's bullshit: aside from Buffy being my favorite character in the 'verse (and possibly in fiction, period) when it comes to this show, I may prefer certain things but I don't "OT_" anything. But FUFAW (Favorite Underappreciated Friendship Among Women) is pretty unwieldy, and sound like either a disease or something two cats would do in an alley.

Tara may not get a lot of time on the show, and she and Buffy rarely interact directly but she plays a key or essential role in some of the best episodes of the series, and when she does, she not only sings, she soars: "Hush", which both mirrors and flips Buffy and Willow's first encounters in "WTTH"; "Who are You", in which she is the only character to realize that Faith isn't really Buffy, and she's never even met Buffy before; "Restless", as a dream guide to Buffy her connection to Dawn, as a sister, becomes explicit; "Family" begins with Buffy verbally committing to protect Dawn from Glory after learning that Dawn isn't "real", and ends with Buffy and Dawn protecting Tara from the Maclays and naming her as one of their own: "Who do you think you are?" / "We're family."  (I recently rewatched that episode waiting for a conversation between Buffy and Tara at the end at Tara's birthday party, and was shocked to realize it wasn't in the episode at all, but rather from snowpuppies's  fic "Here Comes the Sun" )
Speaking the words: "family" "sisters" "Summers blood" makes the commitment as physical and as real as mixing her own blood with Dawn's in BT.

Not in blood alone, but in bond.

The relationships between the women of the Buffyverse aren't an afterthought, something set to the side, they are absolutely central to it; and unlike most tv and movies shows I grew up with, the women of the Buffyverse don't relate only to the men, who in contrast enjoy rich friendships with one another. (Remember the popularity of the "buddy movie" esp in the 1980's?) That, for me, is one of the strengths of the Buffyverse. The women matter, and they matter to one another, as literal and metaphorical mothers, sisters, daughters, rivals, friends, and allies. They love, and choose to love, even when it's painful and difficult to do so.

And this may be behind my frustration or impatience with Angel, Riley and Giles. Yes, they have to leave, yes I get it, blah blah bitty blah. They can't stand the "fire" of love, so they get out of the kitchen, out of "women's space" literally and figuratively. I could devote an entire meta just to "Joyce's kitchen" as symbol of the Mother Principal, of Mater. The room where Buffy fights to protect Joyce in "Angel" and "Ted", where they have their worst fight in "Becoming Pt 2", where Joyce reaffirms her admiration and pride in Buffy in "Helpless", is also the room we associate with Tara's pancakes, and Spike fights for Buffy in "Touched". (The Mother Principle is not about literal gender.) It means something. They "chose" Mater and reaffirm the importance of love - raw, real, and messy love in all it's aspects, not the illusion of "romance". They bear witness to one another: you're important. You matter. I love you. I believe in you. Yes you fucked up, but you can do better next time. I understand you - or maybe I don't, but I can offer you comfort.

It's why we don't see Angel and Riley in the final battle in "Chosen" nor should we. It's why Giles absolutely has to "bend his knee" to the Warrior of the People, the Queen - and thank the stars that she is a benevolent one - if he expects to stand next to Buffy at the end.  Or rather, behind her, in the final scene.

And it's one reason - of many - why Tara's absence in "Chosen" hurts so deeply; she earned the right to be there. Not as Willow's lover, not as a "perfect, faultless human being" (which she isn't, despite the tendency to canonize her as saint), and not even as Buffy's friend but as a powerful woman in her own right.

If I don't go into the politics overmuch here it's because I have a LOT more to say on the subject and am saving it for the moment; but also because it's dominated the discussion re: Tara for over ten years. Rage or silence and little in between the two. If I focus on her death, then I fail to celebrate her life, and it's worth celebrating. Her very existence as the first three-dimensional lesbian character in a realistic lesbian relationship is worth celebrating. And deserves a much better legacy than shameful silence and lack of any such characters that still exists  - or rather, doesn't exist - in US television ten years later.


As long as we share her story she'll never lack for mourners and lovers, but if we fail to do so then she "dies", utterly and completely.

Comments

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY TO READ THIS! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

she was a great (and under-valued) lady ... she could have been both powerful in her own right

I've read that originally she was introduced to take over Willow's role as "the damsel who needs to be saved" on the show, but if that's true it didn't turn out that way. She was actually powerful in her own right ; early on in S4 - Hush and WAY f.ex she's the far more knowledgeable one; she's Willow's mentor and guide into something more powerful (with magic as both metaphor for lesbian sexuality and as itself). They're more powerful together. The show had to rob her of her power (Glory's mindsuck) in order to make her a "damsel", and in any case they'd also introduced Dawn in the "damsel" role.

I think that got a bit lost in S5 & S6; they focused on Willow's growing power, and of course Tara was left incapacitated by Glory and then later killed. I think that's unfortunate. I get the idea that the student outgrows the teacher, but that shouldn't mean the teacher loses the ability they already have.

When Anya says in OAFA that Willow is the more powerful of the two, what does that even mean, really? Part of the problem is, as with many things in the Buffyverse, the lack of consistency and world-building. Is magic a scientific phenomenon or a spiritual one? Does someone have a natural tendency/inclination towards it, or is it a matter of application and practice? Both? So again, what does it mean to say Willow is "more powerful"? More willing to practice every day? To reach deeper into more difficult spells? More ambitious, more destructive?

She was certainly powerful even without magic, as we know!

I haven't really sussed this all out before. Hmmm....But I could talk about Tara all day!

and helped Willow to develop into a happier person.

I don't know that anyone could have, and in any case that wasn't her responsibility. Only Willow can do that. That's one of THE single biggest mistakes we make in relationships: "If I love this person enough I can save them/change them/make them happy" (and vice versa.) I've lived that in my own relationship, seen it in my mom and nearly everyone I know.

Something the show emphasizes over and over is what a mistake it is when any one character invests too much of themselves in another person: Buffy and Angel, Riley to Buffy, Anya to Xander; (and perhaps in a way Giles to Buffy, as much to the girl as to Slayer). Tara's statement in WAY "I am you know...your's" seems romantic on the surface but it's chilling in hindsight.

She made mistakes, as we see in her spell-gone-wrong

Oh yes, and the show underplays that because they don't take a lot of time with her character, so it's easy to forget that. (Someone in fandom had to remind me of her spell-gone-wrong in Family a year ago. I was still riding the "Saint tara" train back then. Thankfully I've hopped off since.)

I admit I had read that she was a "beloved" character when I watched the show last year and kept waiting to fall in love with her. As a lesbian I loved the depiction of her and Tara (which I think is still unmatched in US television?) even when it got dark - because lesbians do hurt and abuse their partners; and they do go back to abusive partners. This all real - lesbians aren't cute, fluffy and harmless, nor are we monsters. I appreciated that.

But I didn't fall in love with Tara for herself until S6 and then I fell HARD. I still love her getting mad at Willow in All the Way: "I would if I didn't love you so damn much!" or "God what is wrong with you?" in TR. I understand why fans were devastated ten years ago because I was devastated last year. Such a waste of a fantastic character.

There needs to be more Tara fanfic - and not just W/T, pretty please! Did you read the story clockwork_hart1 wrote at my prompt a few days ago, "Talk to Me (That's What Friends Are For)"? http://clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com/11852.html

[debris4spike]

Why did we need a "damsel in distress"!! The show was about metaphores ... but also stretching the boundaries. Buffy saved "damsels" (and the world) every day ... why did we need that in the overall story.

I have read a few fics where Tara was a "potential" or one of the family of guardians ... I can see where those writers come from in seeing her hidden depths, and the reason her family neither accepted her nor her mother.

I wonder if the "more powerful" comment if that Willow had been able to have the support of good friends when growing up. Having seen Tara's family, we can understand she was bullied, and I wonder if she had any real love other than her mum ... I was bullied at school, but had family love (which in itself can cause other tensions!!!) ... but in thinking along these lines I see the shyness, and sheer terror of making her strengths known to anyone, let alone a new group of people.

Lebian/straight/gay ... show me any relationship that doesn't have ups and downs! That is the great thing about their relationship on the show ... they did try to work through things,

helped Willow to develop into a happier person. ... oh I agree with you, but just felt that Willow got lost in her magic, and the thrill of that power. I had hoped that seeing Tara's deep strength would let Willow discover the inner strength and together they could have built a more multi-layered relationship.


No, I have to check that out.
##

Like you I was a later watcher of BtVS ... and started in season 7 (by accident as I had friends girls staying) ... thus my love of Spike & James.

I must get back to my re-watch!

My goodness this is long pt 1

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Why did we need a "damsel in distress"!! The show was about metaphores ... but also stretching the boundaries. Buffy saved "damsels" (and the world) every day ... why did we need that in the overall story.

That's the $64,000 question. But then who needed the space fuck in S8, or the robo-bodyswap-abortion fakeout in S9? It gets back to "Joss is not as much of a feminist as he thinks he is." I've seen accusations that Buffy is "too masculine" but if you ever watch Heathers, compare that ending to any season ender of BtVS, esp Becoming, Graduation Day, The Gift, and Chosen - the emphasis is on Buffy saving a loved one (even to the point of death), or being abandoned by a loved one. That the entire series, incl the comics is about breaking Buffy down over and over, her self-confidence continually decreasing. My shippy heart loves the final scenes in Chosen; my feminist brain is bothered that the supposed theme of "sharing power/collaboration" stands in contrast to the image of the "exceptional individual hero" (in this case, male) and that Buffy's story is basically "She needs to learn how to love again."

That's all you got for me, Joss? That's so traditional to the point of being regressive it's not funny. And I still do love the show and Buffy, don't get me wrong. But that is horribly irksome.

BTW - I do recommend kwritten's fantastic meta series on Dawn and esp S7, that touches on some of these very themes: http://kwritten.livejournal.com/98056.html

I have read a few fics where Tara was a "potential" or one of the family of guardians ... I can see where those writers come from in seeing her hidden depths, and the reason her family neither accepted her nor her mother.

I haven't read one where she was a guardian but that would SO fit her. "Save the World" by Foxinator is an S7 AU tara is called as a Slayer story http://archiveofourown.org/works/982172
and "Die a Little Day" by brutti_ma_buoni is a post-series AU, post apocalypse scenario in which Tara is also a warrior/fighter (if not a Slayer) alongside Buffy, Faith and the gang, amoung the few humans left. http://archiveofourown.org/works/854827

I wonder if the "more powerful" comment if that Willow had been able to have the support of good friends when growing up.

I actually think we're suppose to read that straight? Willow actually didn't have the greatest support system growing up - her parents are distant and Sheila Rosenberg can only deal with her as an abstraction (Gingerbread), even if they don't "overtly" abuse her, it's more of a case of benign neglect. Xander is her best friend but he fails to see that she's attracted to him. If he's one of the girls to Buffy in S1, she's one of the guys to him. There was Jesse who we know almost nothing about. Xander seems happy with her just the way she is, which is good, but Buffy's entrance in her life, and attention, begins to elevate Willow's status and confidence. She's jealous of Buffy and Faith in S3, and of Buffy and Tara in S4; she's someone who's been an outsider for years, suddenly became an insider (the SG), and doesn't like to be pushed back out, doesn't like to feel she isn't the center of Buffy or Tara's world.

Re: My goodness this is long pt 2

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I was bullied at school, but had family love (which in itself can cause other tensions!!!) ... but in thinking along these lines I see the shyness, and sheer terror of making her strengths known to anyone, let alone a new group of people.

Oh god so was I - bullied terribly. My mom taught me to turn the other cheek - what I didn't realize was that it just gives them another cheek to slap (metaphorically). It didn't help my confidence a bit. But again on that account both Willow and Tara were bullied. Tara more intensely no doubt (and had a worse family life); in S1 we and Buffy meet Willow when Cordy teases her, and this is a constant pattern. When Buffy sits down next to Willow, Willow assumes she wants her to get up and move away from her. The show was too campy or comedic at that point to go really deep or dark into the psychology of being bullied.

In a way, Tara was Willow's "Replacement" in the story in terms of the shy, unassuming, bulllied girl who slowly builds confidence in herself.

Lesbian/straight/gay ... show me any relationship that doesn't have ups and downs! That is the great thing about their relationship on the show ... they did try to work through things,

100% YES to all of this! I love the show in part because it infuriates me occasionally, and the characters infuriate me occasionally (some more than others, of course). But it's not fluffy Hallmark-card "let's fix everything in 40 minutes with a hug la-la-lah" sort of thing, or I couldn't take it seriously. People hurt the people they love most. That's real. They struggle, they try, they get it wrong a lot; that's how life works.

seeing Tara's deep strength would let Willow discover the inner strength and together they could have built a more multi-layered relationship.

Gotcha. That would have been nice, wouldn't it have? If Tara had lived, I can just as happily imagine them finally moving on but still remaining friends and offering each other strength in other ways. I can see tara being part of the spell in Chosen. Once they really paid attention to her, Tara had so much "Potential".

Good for you for re-watching - my best friend just sent me a message that she's finally watched the first two eps - and she already loves Buffy! I think you can't understand any of these characters without watching the entire series, which is very different from most series I've seen. I started with WTTH and can't imagine doing it any other way.

Similiar faults were made with Anya, IMHO!

How do you mean that? If you mean in terms of neglecting her character as they did Tara, then I agree 100%. Emma Caulfield was so terrific in the role - her dramatic moments in The Wish, The Body, Hell's Bell's and S7 (esp Selfless, one of the best eps of the late seasons) are stunning. I'm surprised they didn't call on her dramatic skills more and that they waited until S7 to really explore; they were mostly content to use her for comic relief. Pity