The Earth Her Body - Fic by La Noyee, (and random thoughts about the women of the 'verse) (1/?)

[red_satin_doll]

ETA: Additional screencaps added below cut - which has also been added. (Post in haste, repent at leisure.)

Take a Moment: by   lanoyee. Gen, Buffy, Tara, Dawn. A "deleted scene" , post-"Grave"; Buffy bids a friend good-bye. Spare, elegant and melancholy, it's a scene I wish had been in the show.  One of the things I love best about BtVS is how unsentimental it is generally, but sometimes, what I want and what I need are one and the same; no one else can determine that for me. This story gives me both, and it honors one of the most overlooked friendships in the Buffyerse: Buffy and Tara.

lanoyee  recently began transferring some of her female-centric & Buffy-centric meta from her tumblr to her LJ because I begged at my request. In our conversations about one of our favorite shared subjects, the interrelationships of the women on BtVS, the same words kept coming up over and over: overlooked, underestimated, underappreciated, etc. When it comes to Buffy especially, her relationships with other women generate a lot less ink, as far as I can tell, than her relationships with the men in her life; it's easy to forget how central Joyce, Dawn, Willow, Faith etc are to Buffy's story, to her heart. Spike and Angel may be in her heart; Joyce and Dawn are her heart, they are her blood. And yet at the same time the show demonstrates that importance of "not in blood but in bond" relationships, to quote Kikimay's recent comment.


"Take a Moment" was written shortly after a conversation lanoyee & I had about Buffy & Tara in particular, i.e. Why doesn't anyone talk about their relationship? About Tara's role in Buffy's story? Because it's not something I need to fanwank out of thin air, or squint to see: It's right there onscreen; they have a connection to one another that Buffy never shares with Anya, or at least until "Selfless" brings the "Xander's Lie" arc full circle. pocochina thankfully mentions their connection in her 2011 meta character study of Tara, summing it up in quick, vivid strokes in just two paragraphs.

I'd call Buffy & Tara my OTF (one true friendship) except that's bullshit: aside from Buffy being my favorite character in the 'verse (and possibly in fiction, period) when it comes to this show, I may prefer certain things but I don't "OT_" anything. But FUFAW (Favorite Underappreciated Friendship Among Women) is pretty unwieldy, and sound like either a disease or something two cats would do in an alley.

Tara may not get a lot of time on the show, and she and Buffy rarely interact directly but she plays a key or essential role in some of the best episodes of the series, and when she does, she not only sings, she soars: "Hush", which both mirrors and flips Buffy and Willow's first encounters in "WTTH"; "Who are You", in which she is the only character to realize that Faith isn't really Buffy, and she's never even met Buffy before; "Restless", as a dream guide to Buffy her connection to Dawn, as a sister, becomes explicit; "Family" begins with Buffy verbally committing to protect Dawn from Glory after learning that Dawn isn't "real", and ends with Buffy and Dawn protecting Tara from the Maclays and naming her as one of their own: "Who do you think you are?" / "We're family."  (I recently rewatched that episode waiting for a conversation between Buffy and Tara at the end at Tara's birthday party, and was shocked to realize it wasn't in the episode at all, but rather from snowpuppies's  fic "Here Comes the Sun" )
Speaking the words: "family" "sisters" "Summers blood" makes the commitment as physical and as real as mixing her own blood with Dawn's in BT.

Not in blood alone, but in bond.

The relationships between the women of the Buffyverse aren't an afterthought, something set to the side, they are absolutely central to it; and unlike most tv and movies shows I grew up with, the women of the Buffyverse don't relate only to the men, who in contrast enjoy rich friendships with one another. (Remember the popularity of the "buddy movie" esp in the 1980's?) That, for me, is one of the strengths of the Buffyverse. The women matter, and they matter to one another, as literal and metaphorical mothers, sisters, daughters, rivals, friends, and allies. They love, and choose to love, even when it's painful and difficult to do so.

And this may be behind my frustration or impatience with Angel, Riley and Giles. Yes, they have to leave, yes I get it, blah blah bitty blah. They can't stand the "fire" of love, so they get out of the kitchen, out of "women's space" literally and figuratively. I could devote an entire meta just to "Joyce's kitchen" as symbol of the Mother Principal, of Mater. The room where Buffy fights to protect Joyce in "Angel" and "Ted", where they have their worst fight in "Becoming Pt 2", where Joyce reaffirms her admiration and pride in Buffy in "Helpless", is also the room we associate with Tara's pancakes, and Spike fights for Buffy in "Touched". (The Mother Principle is not about literal gender.) It means something. They "chose" Mater and reaffirm the importance of love - raw, real, and messy love in all it's aspects, not the illusion of "romance". They bear witness to one another: you're important. You matter. I love you. I believe in you. Yes you fucked up, but you can do better next time. I understand you - or maybe I don't, but I can offer you comfort.

It's why we don't see Angel and Riley in the final battle in "Chosen" nor should we. It's why Giles absolutely has to "bend his knee" to the Warrior of the People, the Queen - and thank the stars that she is a benevolent one - if he expects to stand next to Buffy at the end.  Or rather, behind her, in the final scene.

And it's one reason - of many - why Tara's absence in "Chosen" hurts so deeply; she earned the right to be there. Not as Willow's lover, not as a "perfect, faultless human being" (which she isn't, despite the tendency to canonize her as saint), and not even as Buffy's friend but as a powerful woman in her own right.

If I don't go into the politics overmuch here it's because I have a LOT more to say on the subject and am saving it for the moment; but also because it's dominated the discussion re: Tara for over ten years. Rage or silence and little in between the two. If I focus on her death, then I fail to celebrate her life, and it's worth celebrating. Her very existence as the first three-dimensional lesbian character in a realistic lesbian relationship is worth celebrating. And deserves a much better legacy than shameful silence and lack of any such characters that still exists  - or rather, doesn't exist - in US television ten years later.


As long as we share her story she'll never lack for mourners and lovers, but if we fail to do so then she "dies", utterly and completely.

Comments

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

Re: Mater. You briefly mentioned Spike in the kitchen, but there was also the scene of him laughing with Joyce and Dawn, perfectly comfortable in the kitchen, in the woman's space. And that's the difference between Spike and Angel and Riley (do we ever see them in the kitchen? Or is it a likely glaring but purposeful blank in my mind?): They're the alpha male type. They can't follow a woman as her second-in-command, and Spike can. With Spike, Buffy remains the hero, as she should be. Because Spike understands women better than they (Angel and Riley) do. What was the point of the Wife of Bath's tale in The Canterbury Tales? That women want to be queen. Riley and Angel are he-man "I want to be king, dammit!" types, and Spike's a "I'm fine being the prince consort" kind of guy.

That's about as coherent as I can be right now.

Also: what if there was space for Tara and Spike to be bffs? That's one of my favorite things in fic. Buffy/Dawn/Spike/Tara is my happy family OT4.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

but there was also the scene of him laughing with Joyce and Dawn, perfectly comfortable in the kitchen, in the woman's space

I was talking to comlodge who is a HUGE Spike fan, about my ideas about Spike and Mater, and she agreed that he looses his way in that regard in S6. Buffy and Spike both do, obviously - and they both need to find that again, regain that balance within themselves. Mater and Logos. (I know Pater is the equivalent term of Mater, but Logos gets the point across better IMO.)

And that's the difference between Spike and Angel and Riley (do we ever see them in the kitchen? Or is it a likely glaring but purposeful blank in my mind?): They're the alpha male type.

YES to all of this; I've said elsewhere that the two of them are far more alike than either one of them would like to believe. Superficially they seem very different, but there's a core of paternalistic, rigid & dogmatic thinking; and they both hold very tightly to "male priviledge". I think they are genuinely attracted to Buffy's strength on one level but neither is as "progressive" in that regard as they'd like to think they are. (Of course the show sends some very mixed messages in that regard esp Riley at the end.)

Re: the kitchen - the one time I remember Angel there is in "Angel"(S1?) holding Joyce after Darla has wounded her (and he's immediately tossed out the window by Buffy, who thinks he hurt Joyce. She was wrong, but I love it anyway.) And Riley is seen in the kitchen with Buffy, laughing with her at the beginning of The Real Me (the introduction of Dawn). They seem very comfortable with each other and very happy. (Sarah is so cute there - seeing Buffy happy as late as S5 reminds me how much I miss that in S6 & 7. *hugs Buffy*)

I don't recall him in the kitchen otherwise; but I do remember he was the only one of Buffy's lovers/boyfriends Joyce approves on the show. Which is no wonder - Riley kind of reminds me of Hank in a way. (there's a subtle connection from Hank to Ted to Riley to RJ.)

They can't follow a woman as her second-in-command, and Spike can.

They can as long as they feel entirely confident about themselves. Angel subtly manipulates, Riley is less so. And Spike can but again, loses his way for a while. Giving in to the steady drumbeat (since S5) of you love me we belong together etc etc is one of Buffy's worst mistakes because she starts to go down his path rather than leader him along her's, and it turns into a terrible power struggle between them.

Whereas S7 is the reversal of that - negotiating and sharing power in a new way. And it's no wonder that Giles and Angel are still policing Buffy's private life in S7 (as Riley does in AYW); they're still stuck in the rigid old paradigm. Buffy and Spike have moved on.

Riley and Angel are he-man "I want to be king, dammit!" types, and Spike's a "I'm fine being the prince consort" kind of guy.

Which of course is why I ship Buffy&Spike in S7 so hard it's not even funny. And that's the EXACT same word I've often used: I think of Spike as Buffy's consort that season. (Or each other's consorts, so as to not offend anyone. *lol*)

what if there was space for Tara and Spike to be bffs? That's one of my favorite things in fic. Buffy/Dawn/Spike/Tara is my happy family OT4.

I like the idea of the four of them as a family in theory - in practice, Buffy tends to get left out of the equation. Or rather, there's plenty of fics in which each of them relate not to one another but only to Spike, and there's something about that I find problematic - that the women exist not in relation to one another but to confirm the male character as the center of the universe. There's Spike & Tara or Spike/Tara (I have ISSUES with that pairing), lots of Spike & Dawn; but very little Buffy & Tara & Dawn. :(

Now if someone wrote the sort of fic you described? Sure, I'd go for that. I actually do like the idea of Tara and Spike balancing one another with Buffy in between them as the "centerpoint" but I don't think I've seen it done. If you know of any such please point me towards it. (I don't suppose you'd write such a fic and make me a very happy fangirl? *offers extra cookies*)

[eilowyn.livejournal.com]

I see what you mean re: Spike being the center of Happy Family OT4 fics. Even my favorite fic 'verse (you may need an account to access it) there's more Spike/Buffy, Spike+Tara and Spike+Dawn. There's implied, periphery B+T and D+T, but I've come to realize over reading this 'verse a thousand times or so, as a whole it really is Spike's story, from Spike's point of view, even though parts are written from Buffy's perspective. I think it's the same way season 1 of The Vampire Diaries (don't remember if you watch or not - it's fun, but not as good as Buffy), where we're introduced to the series through Stefan's perspective, even though it's Elena's story.

But yes. Happy Family OT3 in theory, if not in practice.

Also, I don't really like Spike/Tara either. I think it negates how progressively the series portrayed Tara's sexuality - making her fall for a man after declaring herself a lesbian. I know sexuality is fluid, and on a spectrum, but because of the marginalization of LGBT characters, I want to keep Tara gay because LOOK! IT'S ACTUALLY A POSITIVE, NON-CLICHE GAY CHARACTER! I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion that will get me in trouble or not, but I just want to keep Tara gay so that we have that 100% lesbian figure in the 'verse (Willow is a lesbian as well, because that's how she identifies herself, but I think her sexuality is more flexible than Tara's? Does that make sense?).

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Even my favorite fic 'verse (you may need an account to access it) there's more Spike/Buffy, Spike+Tara and Spike+Dawn. There's implied, periphery B+T and D+T, but I've come to realize over reading this 'verse a thousand times or so, as a whole it really is Spike's story, from Spike's point of view, even though parts are written from Buffy's perspective.

Yeah, I don't have an account - and since that's usually needed for "NC-17" fics, I haven't bothered. Your description pretty much makes me NOT want to read it, although I don't doubt it's well written. There is SO MUCH fanfic focused on Spike as the protagonist, Spike as the hero, etc.

I used to read Moulin Rouge fanfic ten years ago (and even wrote some) on ff.net, and I got bored pretty quickly with the narrow focus on Christian to the exclusion of Satine or other female characters. But he was the protagonist of the movie after all, and most of the writers seemed to be "Ewan fangirls" anyway. I didn't expect that to also be the case in a fandom where the protagonist is female and the verse is filled with strong, dynamic female characters and interesting relationships. I assumed, for instance, that there'd be a ton of fics fleshing out the Joyce-Buffy-Dawn dynamic, or fics about Jenny, etc.

Oh and I haven't read TVD; your comment about Stefan's POV reminds me of a made-for-tv movie I saw maybe 20 years ago or so, about birth control activist Margaret Sanger, played by Dana Delany. I remember a scene where she was in prison explaining to her husband that she was doing this for their daughter (and other women of course by extension, all daughters) but the narrator of the story was her SON, who was perhaps 8 or 10 when the action was occuring. WTF? WHY did they think that was a good idea, honestly? Why do they keep taking our stories away from us and WHY do we keep letting them and participating in that "theft"?

I think it negates how progressively the series portrayed Tara's sexuality - making her fall for a man after declaring herself a lesbian. I know sexuality is fluid, and on a spectrum, but because of the marginalization of LGBT characters, I want to keep Tara gay because LOOK! IT'S ACTUALLY A POSITIVE, NON-CLICHE GAY CHARACTER!

SPEAK TO MY SOUL. This is it, in a nutshell. I've talked to people who say that they enjoy that pairing as long as the characterization is good - but the problem is that Tara's sexual identity is PART of her character. It's not separate from it. Coming from the family she came from, claiming her identity and her truth is an extremely brave thing to do. That courage is part of who she is. And there is nothing on the show to indicate she's anything but lesbian. She's THE ONE fully-fleshed lesbian character in a realistic lesbian relationship in American tv that I know of. ONE and ONLY. There are thousands upon thousands of characters in all of literature, tv and movies to play with; bending Tara to conform to heteronormative standards is deeply problematic - and frankly, gross.

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion that will get me in trouble or not, I just want to keep Tara gay so that we have that 100% lesbian figure in the 'verse

Just because it's unpopular doesn't mean it isn't true. And if they won't give her back we will TAKE HER BACK. The revolution starts HERE.

(Willow is a lesbian as well, because that's how she identifies herself, but I think her sexuality is more flexible than Tara's? Does that make sense?).

Oh absolutely, yes it does.

[ruuger]

Which of course is why I ship Buffy&Spike in S7 so hard it's not even funny. And that's the EXACT same word I've often used: I think of Spike as Buffy's consort that season.

Preach it, sister! :D Have I ever told you my theory that

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<I>Which of course is why I ship Buffy&Spike in S7 so hard it's not even funny. And that's the EXACT same word I've often used: I think of Spike as Buffy's consort that season.</I>

Preach it, sister! :D Have I ever told you my theory that <a href="http://ruuger.livejournal.com/226515.html"Spike is really a Bond girl</A>? ;)

<I>each of them relate not to one another but only to Spike, and there's something about that I find problematic - that the women exist not in relation to one another but to confirm the male character as the center of the universe.</I>
Yes, this. This is a problem I have with many fandoms, and the reason why I don't care about a lot of popular fandoms like The Avengers and Doctor Who. What I want from a fandom is a) more than one interesting female characters (that is, a character whose strength cannot be summarised with "can beat up a lot of men", and who doesn't get the disclaimer "but feminine"), and b) at least one non-familial, positive relationship between two women. Strangely, though, I still manage to watch quite a lot of TV and movies ;)

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Have I ever told you my theory that Spike is really a Bond girl?

For realz? *giggles maniacally* Although he's got a lot more agency than a typical Bond girl - but then I haven't seen any Bond films since the, um, early '80's? Late '70's? No Bond girl ever took over the story - they were all pretty much throwaways. except Diana Rigg who was AWESOME and of course they killed her at the end of the movie.

This is a problem I have with many fandoms, and the reason why I don't care about a lot of popular fandoms like The Avengers and Doctor Who.

When I was a very very little girl I loved the Batman series because of the theme song - and Catwoman. My eyes were focused on the women from day one. I did enjoy Doctor Who with my friends in college, but there were a lot of the same issues. We were surprised that in the last two seasons with Sylvester McCoy the story arcs actually focused on the companion, Ace, and not the Doctor himself. There was a much more feminist feel to them - which of course is when it got put on hiatus. *pouts*

I was in Moulin Rouge fandom for a while - I have no idea why I was obsessed with Satine but I was. I think I wanted to make her the center of the story? Some fans did focus on fleshing out the women (dancers) but the film and the fans are focused on Christian's relationships. Which is true of nearly ever story in our culture - male is the default "protagonist" so even when the protagonist is female we have a problem seeing her beyond what she means to a man, not the other way around. We've been TRAINED to see things this way; it's a sort of cultural hypnosis that's thousands of years in the making.

What I want from a fandom is a) more than one interesting female characters (that is, a character whose strength cannot be summarised with "can beat up a lot of men", and who doesn't get the disclaimer "but feminine"), and b) at least one non-familial, positive relationship between two women. Strangely, though, I still manage to watch quite a lot of TV and movies ;)

And is that so much to ask? I wouldn't think so, but apparently it is. BTW - have you seen the "Women Together" meta-pic from gabrielleabelle that rebcake linked to upthread?

I'm watching Crossing Jordan right now and I love Jordan, she's tightly wound, focused, bitchy, sometimes coming apart but very loyal. A difficult woman. And I love her (full disclosure- I've had a crush on Jill Hennessey since Law and Order in the '90's.) There's another female regular who is a softer character, the voice of wisdom, earth-goddess type. And a few rotating female characters. But they interact very little - most of their interactions are with the male characters. We're sometimes told that they are friends but rarely shown that. Shockingly, the series Bones actually does a better job with female relationships (except the one time Angela decided to temporarily hook up with an old lesbian ex. Sweeps week lesbos!) There are three main female characters, three main male characters; Angela is Brennan's best friend, Brennan and her boss Cam have an interesting, prickly relationship but respect each other very much.

Nurse Jackie and United States of Tara also do ok with having female interactions but I especially love Leslie and Ann in Parks and Rec. I'd totally ship them together if I didn't like Ben so much.

[ruuger]

No Bond girl ever took over the story - they were all pretty much throwaways. except Diana Rigg who was AWESOME and of course they killed her at the end of the movie.

In a way Skyfall, the latest Bond movie, did focus on a Bond girl, if you count female!M as a 'Bond girl'. A lot of people in fandom praised the movie because of this, but I actually hated it for Spoilery Reasons. I've been a Bond fan since I was twelve, and for me it has been always been about the women - I loved Diana Rigg's character, and also Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore (but hated the fact that she was was 'de-lesbified' in both the book and the movie) - but I have actually been more of a book fan. The books are actually much better when it comes to female characters than the movies are (though obviously not without their problems because Fleming is a sexist dinosaur), and one of the books, The Spy Who Loved Me, is even told from the POV of the Bond girl. And of course, when I was twelve, I used to imagine that I was a secret agent on a mission with Bond, and in my fantasies, he would always get into trouble and I would have to rescue him :D

I really liked Brennan as a character, but I can't watch Bones anymore because of the Brennan/Booth romance. I just hate that kind of Meant to Be het romances, where all the characters are rooting for the two to get together. I also don't like how the show treats Brennan's atheism.

(I've been meaning to check out Parks and Rec, but it's not on Finnish TV yet so I haven't had the chance)

I was actually thinking just the other day that the only TV-show that I watch that has a m/m relationship as its main focus is The Mentalist, and even there the m/m relationship is the focus only in theory, and the main onscreen relationship is m/f. Most of the shows I watch have either female protagonists (United States of Tara, Nurse Jackie, Medium, Buffy, Miranda, Cougar Town, No1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Fringe...), or ensembles with multiple women (Eureka, Babylon 5, ER, The Misfits...). I don't usually complain about too many men on TV because I'm too busy watching my shows about women :D

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I admit I never read any of Flemings books; I think my brothers may have but they were huge bond fans (mostly the movies) which may have of itself turned me off *lol* The last Bond movie I attempted to watch was with Timothy Dalton; it starts with one of bond's old friends on his honeymoon and he and his bride are attacked, he's thrown off the boat and attacked by sharks and his bride is raped and killed. That's the opening of the movie. *urgh*

I really liked Brennan as a character, but I can't watch Bones anymore because of the Brennan/Booth romance. I just hate that kind of Meant to Be het romances, where all the characters are rooting for the two to get together. I also don't like how the show treats Brennan's atheism.

SO much so. I liked Brennan and Booth as friends, with almost a brother-sister vibe; they spend years on will-they-won't-they then OVERNIGHT, literally two episodes she's pregnant by him and they're living together? HUH? And the writing just went to hell literally overnight mid S3.

I also hate the way her atheism is treated as a joke, as something oddball, limiting or "fringe" when there are a lot of atheists in the world (myself included), and I hate how the show has been working to "humiliate" her since S3, make her the butt of the joke. UGH

I do hope you get to check out Parks & Rec. I haven't watched the first season but picked it up in the second when people began raving about it. I think you'll enjoy it.

You're reminding me that there's a character in Crossing Jordan, Nigel and they've made his sexual orientation an open question - in the first season another character was freaked out by the idea of going on a trip to a ski lodge with him and asked what he was outright and NIgel answered "It doesn't matter". Well they've hinted at it ever since then but they've remained coy and I think that's a cop-out. it DOES matter when people are discriminated against based on gender orientation, and when we know the sexual orientation (straight) of every other character on the show. It's just stupid.

Most of the shows I watch have either female protagonists (United States of Tara, Nurse Jackie, Medium, Buffy, Miranda, Cougar Town, No1 Ladies' Detective Agency, Fringe...), or ensembles with multiple women (Eureka, Babylon 5, ER, The Misfits...). I don't usually complain about too many men on TV because I'm too busy watching my shows about women :D

Yes, this. I've seen Tara, the first two seasons of nurse jackie (they stopped carrying it on instantview in netflix, damn it) Buffy and I don't think I've seen the others. I've heard Babylon 5 is good, do you recommend it? Sci-fi isn't normally my thing, but...

[ruuger]

I've heard Babylon 5 is good, do you recommend it?

Oh yes. It's not perfect, and some of the elements have not aged well, but it's pretty damn good when it comes to female characters. I wrote a posta few years ago about why I love the women on the show, but basically what makes the show so good is that the female characters were generally treated exactly like the male characters. Also, J. Michael Straczynski, the guy who created the show (and wrote almost all the episodes) may not have Joss' reputation as a feminist, but he's still very vocal about equality, and unlike Joss, he's not afraid of calling out his fans when they're being sexist douchebags.

Also, Babylon 5 has a canon lesbian relationship between two of the main characters. Due to problems behind the scenes, it wasn't handled as well as it could have been, but it's still one of the first canon f/f relationships on TV.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I wrote a posta few years ago about why I love the women on the show, but basically what makes the show so good is that the female characters were generally treated exactly like the male characters.

Thank you for the links! That list of roles women take in b5 is pretty damn impressive. STILL. (I actually watched that Star Trek reboot in the theater a couple of years ago - and Uhura's main role is Spock's lover? And she's still the only major female character. THIS IS NOT PROGRESS, people!)

Also, J. Michael Straczynski, the guy who created the show (and wrote almost all the episodes) may not have Joss' reputation as a feminist, but he's still very vocal about equality, and unlike Joss, he's not afraid of calling out his fans when they're being sexist douchebags.

Good on him! Great quotes - and very much an I have no patience for this bs tone. we need more men like him in the world. (And frankly more women, when it comes to that.) To be fair, Joss has on occasion done so, like his "no bashing Marti" statement; or calling out fans for their homophobia when Willow started dating Tara; or his more recent answer to the question, why do you write strong women characters? "Because people still ask me questions like this." Great line but - then you look at his work and his hang-ups and priviledge are all over the place. He tries, but he increasingly reminds me of Xander to be honest: the geek who sees himself as a "nice guy" and doesn't have to question his own issues; and gets pissed if you call him out on his shit.

but it's still one of the first canon f/f relationships on TV.

Wait, what? How did I not know this? (Oh, right, because I've not been interested in sci-fi series generally. But then I knew about Tara and Willow - ONLY because it made mainstream news when she died. grrrr.....)