I'm a couple seasons behind (due to not having netflix in BKK) but I had serious over-identification ~feelings w/r/t Bones. ugh.
I made it to somewhere into early S8 on Netflix and had to stop in disgust so I'm torn between wanting to tell you STOP and "keep watching, experience my pain and rage and then talk about it because IT NEEDS TO BE SAID!" clockwork_hart1 just said this on her blog: And I never saw Bones from the start...The ones that I have seen, well, they're trying for Anya-level no-people-skills-aren't-regular-people-cute and hitting calculated moron. What the glittery fuck, guys? Aren't women on TV allowed to just be intelligent? Yuck.http://clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com/20681.html?thread=316617#t316617
Her Anya-and-Xander comparison is frighteningly accurate. Yuck hardly covers it.
the conversations I've had with you have centered on how frustrated you are with the gendered-centrism of the conversation.
Which was really only a few posts in a single conversation of the many I've had; I don't think it represents everything I have to say on the subject. In any case, what I said then and what you're saying here are exactly the same things. We're just each somewhat more sensitive to certain characters; and I perhaps misread the "temperature" of the room. If you specifically said in your post that you wanted celebration and I completely missed that, then that's on me. Spike/Dawn are one of your loves, so I could have been more discrete. Your passion, your anger is my own, even if we differ on what triggers us.
conversation has a hard time starting.
how do you even start a conversation with people who don't see the problem, and/or don't think it's a problem to begin with? With people who don't want to talk and listen to one another? And we wonder why there's no peace in the Middle East.
But as we are having a discussion about the toxic environment negative shippers bring to the table it would feel neglectful if I didn't mention that this sometimes happens?
Absolutely! I just felt that I was being labeled in a way that misrepresents me, based on a handful of conversations or a couple of comments I made; just as your comments here don't represent the totality of who you are and your opinions.
I wish there was a way that you didn't have to play tiptoe like this.
I certainly understand shipper fatigue, it frustrated me for a while; so my strategy has been primarily been to "ac-cen-tu-ate the positive" as the song goes. Sometimes I still do rant, but I'm not spending all my time swimming upstream in a current that's only going to drown me. I'm digging out my own beautiful river.
if I ever made you feel as though you need to tiptoe around me, I'm sorry.
I know it wasn't ever intentional. But I DO appreciate you saying that, very much, it means a lot to me. *hugs*
because I want you there with me. Does that make sense?
Completely.
I'm so sorry that there are places of fandom that leave anyone feeling like the conversation isn't one that they can participate in because of negativity.
And I'm happy that conversations like this are happening as well. I'm happy that chasingdemons made a manip of the ladies of the verse inspired by my enthusiasm and energy as a newish fan. I'm oh so happy that you focus on Dawn the way you do and people are realizing how aweseome she is. I'm thrilled that the internet exists and all these conversations aren't happening in isolation, just a few people at a time, because the internet wasn't around and now we can talk to one another no matter where we are and that's AWESOME.
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branchandroot
Re: (pt 2)
Date: 2014-03-24 04:24 pm (UTC)I made it to somewhere into early S8 on Netflix and had to stop in disgust so I'm torn between wanting to tell you STOP and "keep watching, experience my pain and rage and then talk about it because IT NEEDS TO BE SAID!"
Her Anya-and-Xander comparison is frighteningly accurate. Yuck hardly covers it.
the conversations I've had with you have centered on how frustrated you are with the gendered-centrism of the conversation.
Which was really only a few posts in a single conversation of the many I've had; I don't think it represents everything I have to say on the subject. In any case, what I said then and what you're saying here are exactly the same things. We're just each somewhat more sensitive to certain characters; and I perhaps misread the "temperature" of the room. If you specifically said in your post that you wanted celebration and I completely missed that, then that's on me. Spike/Dawn are one of your loves, so I could have been more discrete. Your passion, your anger is my own, even if we differ on what triggers us.
conversation has a hard time starting.
how do you even start a conversation with people who don't see the problem, and/or don't think it's a problem to begin with? With people who don't want to talk and listen to one another? And we wonder why there's no peace in the Middle East.
But as we are having a discussion about the toxic environment negative shippers bring to the table it would feel neglectful if I didn't mention that this sometimes happens?
Absolutely! I just felt that I was being labeled in a way that misrepresents me, based on a handful of conversations or a couple of comments I made; just as your comments here don't represent the totality of who you are and your opinions.
I wish there was a way that you didn't have to play tiptoe like this.
I certainly understand shipper fatigue, it frustrated me for a while; so my strategy has been primarily been to "ac-cen-tu-ate the positive" as the song goes. Sometimes I still do rant, but I'm not spending all my time swimming upstream in a current that's only going to drown me. I'm digging out my own beautiful river.
if I ever made you feel as though you need to tiptoe around me, I'm sorry.
I know it wasn't ever intentional. But I DO appreciate you saying that, very much, it means a lot to me. *hugs*
because I want you there with me. Does that make sense?
Completely.
I'm so sorry that there are places of fandom that leave anyone feeling like the conversation isn't one that they can participate in because of negativity.
And I'm happy that conversations like this are happening as well. I'm happy that chasingdemons made a manip of the ladies of the verse inspired by my enthusiasm and energy as a newish fan. I'm oh so happy that you focus on Dawn the way you do and people are realizing how aweseome she is. I'm thrilled that the internet exists and all these conversations aren't happening in isolation, just a few people at a time, because the internet wasn't around and now we can talk to one another no matter where we are and that's AWESOME.