Very much so - lupus, epilepsy, now a back injury almost a year ago that makes even sitting painful. Also no access to transportation and NO MONEY. that last is a big thing. 20 years after the fact I'm still paying off school loans for the masters program I started but had to drop out of. (What the HELL was I thinking when I attended on an out-out-state status in NC which is far more expensive? Clearly, I wasn't. Oh Buffy, how I get her - you can be "smart" in all sorts of ways but intelligence in terms of finances? that's a skill you have to learn, and I never did. too much "this will turn out all right" unrealistic thinking.) and most of the grants etc that were available to me as an undergrad are not available to grad students. So getting myself further and deeper into debt, for a career that might not even pay off that loan and I may not even be able to get a job in anyway seems foolish. There is no such thing as walking out of college and being guaranteed that a job will be waiting for you, even in careers that were "recession-proof" (f.ex. the health care industry). I'm sure some people will say I'm being "pessimistic" but here's the thing - I tried optimism for years. I was fucking lousy with optimism. It'll all work out! and I believed that. Because - I'm white? Because I didn't or couldn't consider the alternative?
The notion that there is a fixed destination and if you're white and middle class or even working class you have to go to college because your life will be better thereby and the big house will be waiting for you at the end or else you're a failure is - well, an illusion, and a pretty one. And not a new one; have you read The History of Private Life? in the chapter on the 19th century, the authors talk about how, when compulsory education was opened in France to males beyond the upper class, suddenly there was a huge number of men who had been "prepared" for success but found reality didn't match what they'd been told they'd find.
I get that school is expensive but at the Masters level aren't you also teaching and therefor bringing in money?
If you're getting a degree in K-12 education that also has a program where you intern yourself at a school and teach in exchange for tuition, then sort of. I looked at social work and counseling programs for a time as well, and all of them have you interning at a facility, as well one should, to get job experience but generally you're not getting paid. And there are TA positions that help with tuition; I had one for a year but the amount of money is nominal esp for the amount of work you are expected to do.
And I don't mean to make excuses; I screwed up, I get that. My fault. But it's finally starting to sink in that I know a lot of people who are intelligent and have Master's degrees and haven't followed the track we're 'supposed to'. Some of it's me and some of it's just - having to accept that there are no guarantees.
Ok, so enough about me, let's talk about Buffy....*lol*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
Pt 1 of long-ass reply
Date: 2013-10-14 08:02 pm (UTC)Very much so - lupus, epilepsy, now a back injury almost a year ago that makes even sitting painful. Also no access to transportation and NO MONEY. that last is a big thing. 20 years after the fact I'm still paying off school loans for the masters program I started but had to drop out of. (What the HELL was I thinking when I attended on an out-out-state status in NC which is far more expensive? Clearly, I wasn't. Oh Buffy, how I get her - you can be "smart" in all sorts of ways but intelligence in terms of finances? that's a skill you have to learn, and I never did. too much "this will turn out all right" unrealistic thinking.) and most of the grants etc that were available to me as an undergrad are not available to grad students. So getting myself further and deeper into debt, for a career that might not even pay off that loan and I may not even be able to get a job in anyway seems foolish. There is no such thing as walking out of college and being guaranteed that a job will be waiting for you, even in careers that were "recession-proof" (f.ex. the health care industry). I'm sure some people will say I'm being "pessimistic" but here's the thing - I tried optimism for years. I was fucking lousy with optimism. It'll all work out! and I believed that. Because - I'm white? Because I didn't or couldn't consider the alternative?
The notion that there is a fixed destination and if you're white and middle class or even working class you have to go to college because your life will be better thereby and the big house will be waiting for you at the end or else you're a failure is - well, an illusion, and a pretty one. And not a new one; have you read The History of Private Life? in the chapter on the 19th century, the authors talk about how, when compulsory education was opened in France to males beyond the upper class, suddenly there was a huge number of men who had been "prepared" for success but found reality didn't match what they'd been told they'd find.
I get that school is expensive but at the Masters level aren't you also teaching and therefor bringing in money?
If you're getting a degree in K-12 education that also has a program where you intern yourself at a school and teach in exchange for tuition, then sort of. I looked at social work and counseling programs for a time as well, and all of them have you interning at a facility, as well one should, to get job experience but generally you're not getting paid. And there are TA positions that help with tuition; I had one for a year but the amount of money is nominal esp for the amount of work you are expected to do.
And I don't mean to make excuses; I screwed up, I get that. My fault. But it's finally starting to sink in that I know a lot of people who are intelligent and have Master's degrees and haven't followed the track we're 'supposed to'. Some of it's me and some of it's just - having to accept that there are no guarantees.
Ok, so enough about me, let's talk about Buffy....*lol*