Reading this, I had a sudden awful vision of BtVS without its female friendships. There are many things that set the show apart, but without that, I don't know that anything else can redeem it. And the nature of those relationships, too: not a glib, Buffybot "You're my best friend", but the complicated reality of what it means to connect with and care for someone.

They love, and choose to love, even when it's painful and difficult to do so.

Yes, this. So much.

I'm so glad you've highlighted the Buffy/Tara friendship. It sits quietly at the foundation of so much else, and it's only when other layers topple down around it that it becomes particularly visible. I love Tara in Who Are You - without ever having met Buffy, she knows her better than her friends do. And she knows her better than she knows herself sometimes - when she tells Buffy in Dead Things that's it OK to love Spike, or OK to be with him even if she doesn't, she's found the little crack of light at a point of darkness. Buffy is so determined to just be wrong at that point, but when Tara allows her logic and (even) feeling, it's a challenge as well as a comfort.

Also, I have a great love of story told through place, so I am now happily contemplating all the important kitchen-based events that take place over the course of the show.