I did read elisi's blog and commented on it last Sept, and still agree with all of my comments then.- I think except for molly_may most commenters and elisi were more - sympathetic for Riley. Elisi made some terrific points in her meta but the repetition of "Buffy was bad for Riley" - whoa, wait, what? Maggie Walsh is the one who betrayed Riley, who manipulated his blindly trusting "respect authority and don't ask questions" nature and put that chip in his heart. (Imagine if btvs had been set during the 1970's Nixon era, with Buffy & Willow as campus activists.) And he in turns betrays Buffy by attacking her most vunerable spot - her heart - as he did in Doomed.
Again, this COULD have been interesting, but the writers decided to make it ALL ABOUT BUFFY and ALL HER FAULT and just NO. As you say IT'S GROSS, and there is just no other word for it.
And I really appreciate that the genuine article doesn't always need to be romantic in nature.
WORD. In my experience the "genuine article" very rarely is "romantic". Romance is generally sold to us as a feeling that just happens - and if its not there it's not really love - and in our culture you're supposed to just move on. Or fix it. Or stay but wonder why the hell your relationship isn't perfect, and mold yourselves to that. But that "feeling that just happens", effortlessly, in the beginning? That's need and loneliness and lust and just plain old hormonal chemistry. That ain't love, hon. When we put "love" in a box and label it, and demand that it look a certain way, as Riley does to Buffy (and Buffy does with Spike later, because she's also doing it to herself as well) then we miss the love that comes our way, we can't see it when it crosses our paths. But we also forget or don't realize that honest, real love includes some hard damn work and effort. "Committment" doesn't stop at reciting vows. (Ask one of my best friends, two lesbians, whose partner cheated on her after they had a "committment ceremony". I stopped hinting to my partner that I wanted such a ceremony because it reminded me how the ritual itself is an empty one without genuine committment behind it.)
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branchandroot
Re: 1/2
Date: 2013-06-18 02:17 pm (UTC)http://www.amptoons.com/blog/2003/03/13/buffy-why-riley-is-not-a-nice-jock/
"In a way, season-five Riley was where Buffy writers began seriously examining misogyny among ordinary men..."
Also
I did read elisi's blog and commented on it last Sept, and still agree with all of my comments then.- I think except for
Again, this COULD have been interesting, but the writers decided to make it ALL ABOUT BUFFY and ALL HER FAULT and just NO. As you say IT'S GROSS, and there is just no other word for it.
And I really appreciate that the genuine article doesn't always need to be romantic in nature.
WORD. In my experience the "genuine article" very rarely is "romantic". Romance is generally sold to us as a feeling that just happens - and if its not there it's not really love - and in our culture you're supposed to just move on. Or fix it. Or stay but wonder why the hell your relationship isn't perfect, and mold yourselves to that. But that "feeling that just happens", effortlessly, in the beginning? That's need and loneliness and lust and just plain old hormonal chemistry. That ain't love, hon. When we put "love" in a box and label it, and demand that it look a certain way, as Riley does to Buffy (and Buffy does with Spike later, because she's also doing it to herself as well) then we miss the love that comes our way, we can't see it when it crosses our paths. But we also forget or don't realize that honest, real love includes some hard damn work and effort. "Committment" doesn't stop at reciting vows. (Ask one of my best friends, two lesbians, whose partner cheated on her after they had a "committment ceremony". I stopped hinting to my partner that I wanted such a ceremony because it reminded me how the ritual itself is an empty one without genuine committment behind it.)
Grow up, get real or go home IOW.