But it's got great stuff, too, as I think it's actually meant to mock the Bangelesque romance crap and show Buffy had grown up quite a bit.,

YES, this, exactly! I also know that a lot of people don't like Buffy's speech to Dawn about Spike, (I have no idea about your feelings on this, so here goes, I hope I don't offend) but I loved that Dawn raised the question, and linked it explicitly to Xander's behavior and Buffy handled it with some amount of grace (how do you talk about that with your little sister?) So again, touching on series-long themes. And Buffy gets Spike out of the basement and Xander may be reluctant but he lets him live with him. Out of loyalty to Buffy (and to make up for being an ass in S6) but the snark between him and Spike hides a genuine brotherly affection, IMO. (Just as there's a lot going on beneath the surface of Buffy and Spike's snarkiness earlier on.)

Even under the spell, Buffy was able to break through and save Dawn the great speech about how no guy is worth your life, which has ties to Chosen. I think it's a much better and deeper ep than BB&B

The callbacks to other eps are so numerous I can't begin to count, but BB&B is almost the least of it - and yes, a much better episode. The Buffy/Dawn interactions are great here as well; I love the sisterly relationship between them so much. But I'm one of those outliers who thinks Dawn is often pretty damn awesome.

Plus it lacks the whole blaming the girls who got drugged at a party and almost fed to said monster for going to the party to begin with angle.

Yet another episode I've willfully suppressed. ;)

And BGF's meta on Beer Bad is one of my favorites.