I sometimes do hugs but am usually awkward about it.

I quite like I Robot You Jane and in addition to Giles/Jenny there is a *lot* there that resonates with Willow's arc. I guess one of these days I will have to post about that.

And yes, awwww re: Giles/Jenny.

I expressed some (rather newly-forming thoughts) to pocochina above re: the contrast to The Pack and fandom not being bothered with the death of a human in part because Buffy does it in order to save a male character (Xander); flipping that, is it possible that Pat's death is uncontroversial (in contrast to Ted) because of her gender? I'm speaking of fandom discussions here, mainly. I don't think it's intentional sexism but rather, unconscious conditioning? Which is exactly the sort of "programming" that Robot Ted represents?

That's not a bad point. I think that the biggest determining factor in-universe, IMHO, is a matter of the extent to which the supernatural was in play. When Buffy killed Pat, she was fully possessed by the zombie mask and there wasn't evidence it could come off; when Buffy threw the zookeeper into the cage, he had a bunch of hyena spirits already inside his body.

A somewhat similar rule follows the other instances of humans dying that play out as somewhat okay/normal -- the coach dying in "Go Fish" because he is attacked by the fishmonsters he created, the Knights of Byzantium who are trying to kill Dawn because of the Key, are clearly marked as being in fantasy plots with fantasy goals, even they are themselves human. Caleb seems to be human-ish but has the spirit of the First amping up his kill-power.

We know, at the episode's end, that Ted was a robot -- but we didn't know that when Buffy fought him. Additionally, Buffy didn't consciously know that when she hit him. Now -- it is up for debate how much Buffy knew subconsciously that Ted was not human or was a supernaturally enhanced human. I tend to think that she didn't really know, though Ted was really strong and that pinged something on her radar.

I do think that it matters that Buffy was protecting Xander in The Pack -- but I think fandom feels similarly about Buffy killing the Knights of Byzantium to protect Dawn, so I am not sure I think there are gender issues in play on that particular point, though it's not impossible.

I recall being happy at first to see that Joyce had a friend; I welcomed any hints that she had a life beyond being a plot device or more specifically "Mom", and was a little dismayed that Pat was very quickly cued as that divisive wedge? I had actually felt the same about Ted initially ("Buffy give the guy a chance") until his threats. And this is directly linked to my own experience of growing up very very aware of my mom's isolation and loneliness, which I think she still tries to fill with her work and her grandkids. I wanted her to have a life of her own, so Joyce became sort of the avatar upon which I projected my hopes. But I don't think I'm just projecting? And, Buffy and Joyce have so much in common (as do Buffy and Giles), and those commonalities create bonds but also unbridgeable distances.

One of the unintentionally saddest scenes in the show is when, in Fear Itself, Joyce talks about how when she came to Sunnydale she didn't have any friends, but now she has a wide circle of friends. It is sad because it is so unconvincing, based on what we see throughout the rest of the series. I think that the line was meant to be played straight, but it just reads to me as Joyce outright lying to Buffy in order to encourage Buffy to think that things are going to get better for her, which is heartbreaking. Well -- that is when I don't feel like laughing because the line seems so disjoint with everything else.

SPOT-ON. And when you're still a dependent in your parents' (guardians) home, there really is NO separation. Not just in the psychological "my mother/myself" sort of way, but in actual physical fact.

Yes. Exactly, very much so.