Thank you for stopping by and commenting! (Totally shallow observation - your icon looks very pretty against the pale grey of my page.).

I also think the character Ted can be thought of as one more in a long list of "bad dad" figures

Quite so, although I prefer Cynthia Bowers' term "problematic parenting" (referring specifically in her case to Giles and Joyce) because it covers both genders. Maggie & Riley being another case in point. Again, it gets back to the themes of power and responsibility, and the misuse of such.

I love Joss for that, and I would really like to know where it comes from.

samson just send me a reply addressing just that point, although I disagree somewhat with her conclusions, that is, it works better for me than it does for her, but I admit it can be a fine line, and part of what she's addressing is really about fandom response to Joyce.
http://eleusis-walks.livejournal.com/45066.html?thread=2038538#t2038538