[Con't]And while he loves Buffy, he does not love her unconditionally - he tries to shape her in ways which benefit his agenda, the ideology he stands for; as opposed to Joyce Summers, who - while sometimes confused - loves her daughter wholly. There is some aspect of proprietary love - or 'love' as a special expression of ownership - vs a mother's love here.
As an agent of the WC he definitely tries to replace Joyce, which has probably been normal procedure in many cultures and throughout time (i.e. Kendra, or Nikki's Watcher adopting Robin.) Giles' ambivalence represents the fact that he paradigm no longer works in the modern world. At the very least needs to be rethought or adjusted. It's that closed system that allows minor tweaks but no major changes. But that's not to absolve Giles or Joyce of their failures either.
I think it's a bit more complicated than "proprietary love vs motherly love", which implies that women and mothers especially just intuitively know how to love and intuitively have "mastery". It's gender essentialism, which I don't believe in (see my comments to kikimay above). I'm sure you know the Victorians had a particularly strong and sentimental "cult of the Mother", and we see that acted out with William and Anne in FFL, in today still in fandom's collective memory of Joyce, as well as Buffy and Dawn's memories of her. Giles claims that Joyce taught Buffy "everything you need to know about life", a convenient rationalization! Buffy says to Dawn in "Him" that she's glad that Mom is not around to see Dawn dressed and behaving like a "slut", conveniently forgetting her own dress and behavior in S1-3, and before that in the Bargaining flashback. I think the appearance of "Saint Joyce" in CWDP is actually a parody of this idea; LMPTM criticizes both Spike and Robin's failures to see their mothers as anything but extensions of themselves.
Joyce also has expectations and desires of her daughter, just as Giles/the WC, even if it's somewhat less explicit. That's partly to do with the fact that the writers are less concerned with Buffy-Joyce as with Buffy-Giles, but also because she's more "careful" in expressing her own expectations. "I don't want to be disappointed" Joyce says in one episode (an "I" statement), as opposed to DreamHank in "Nightmares", "you're sullen and rude..." ("you" statements.) Joyce's confusion and anger once she learns the truth in Becoming is understandable; but she also fails to see the truth all along, the blood stains, etc, doesn't try very hard to understand what's going on with her daughter, which is good and bad; she's trying to be a "modern" parent, almost but not quite a "friend". Her boundaries and discipline is haphazard (she grounds Buffy for rather minor infractions, but allows her daughter to walk the obviously older "college boy" in "Angel" to the door to say goodnight.) She brings a lover into the house who turns out to be a dangerous, violent man; her need and desire are understandable but she nonetheless puts her child and herself in danger.
This somewhat haphazard pattern actually strikes me as pretty realistic of many parents, esp in dysfunctional families (I actually hate that term but it's a convenient shorthand); but I don't think Joyce is immune from the criticism the show makes of authority figures and especially parents. Power and abuse of power is a major theme of the show, and "abuse" includes neglect (Sheila Rosenberg), denial (Joyce) and abandonment (Giles). Failure to protect the innocents is just one expression of the theme. People say that Joss has a thing for "bad dads" but I prefer Cynthia Bowers' term in this context, "problematic parenting" because it encompasses both genders.
And honestly, I think the phrase "unconditional love" is problematic itself. It implies that there's a "right way to do" love, and whatever doesn't match the description is wrong, we're getting it wrong, at least in terms of interpersonal relationships (as to opposed to a more abstract "love for the world".) So I think we keep missing the love that we do have and feel, that's right in front of us, in the search for the "right kind of love". (Riley in S5, and Buffy and Spike in S6 being prime examples.)
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branchandroot
Because I have too many thoughts for one reply...
Date: 2013-03-21 04:51 pm (UTC)As an agent of the WC he definitely tries to replace Joyce, which has probably been normal procedure in many cultures and throughout time (i.e. Kendra, or Nikki's Watcher adopting Robin.) Giles' ambivalence represents the fact that he paradigm no longer works in the modern world. At the very least needs to be rethought or adjusted. It's that closed system that allows minor tweaks but no major changes. But that's not to absolve Giles or Joyce of their failures either.
I think it's a bit more complicated than "proprietary love vs motherly love", which implies that women and mothers especially just intuitively know how to love and intuitively have "mastery". It's gender essentialism, which I don't believe in (see my comments to kikimay above). I'm sure you know the Victorians had a particularly strong and sentimental "cult of the Mother", and we see that acted out with William and Anne in FFL, in today still in fandom's collective memory of Joyce, as well as Buffy and Dawn's memories of her. Giles claims that Joyce taught Buffy "everything you need to know about life", a convenient rationalization! Buffy says to Dawn in "Him" that she's glad that Mom is not around to see Dawn dressed and behaving like a "slut", conveniently forgetting her own dress and behavior in S1-3, and before that in the Bargaining flashback. I think the appearance of "Saint Joyce" in CWDP is actually a parody of this idea; LMPTM criticizes both Spike and Robin's failures to see their mothers as anything but extensions of themselves.
Joyce also has expectations and desires of her daughter, just as Giles/the WC, even if it's somewhat less explicit. That's partly to do with the fact that the writers are less concerned with Buffy-Joyce as with Buffy-Giles, but also because she's more "careful" in expressing her own expectations. "I don't want to be disappointed" Joyce says in one episode (an "I" statement), as opposed to DreamHank in "Nightmares", "you're sullen and rude..." ("you" statements.) Joyce's confusion and anger once she learns the truth in Becoming is understandable; but she also fails to see the truth all along, the blood stains, etc, doesn't try very hard to understand what's going on with her daughter, which is good and bad; she's trying to be a "modern" parent, almost but not quite a "friend". Her boundaries and discipline is haphazard (she grounds Buffy for rather minor infractions, but allows her daughter to walk the obviously older "college boy" in "Angel" to the door to say goodnight.) She brings a lover into the house who turns out to be a dangerous, violent man; her need and desire are understandable but she nonetheless puts her child and herself in danger.
This somewhat haphazard pattern actually strikes me as pretty realistic of many parents, esp in dysfunctional families (I actually hate that term but it's a convenient shorthand); but I don't think Joyce is immune from the criticism the show makes of authority figures and especially parents. Power and abuse of power is a major theme of the show, and "abuse" includes neglect (Sheila Rosenberg), denial (Joyce) and abandonment (Giles). Failure to protect the innocents is just one expression of the theme. People say that Joss has a thing for "bad dads" but I prefer Cynthia Bowers' term in this context, "problematic parenting" because it encompasses both genders.
And honestly, I think the phrase "unconditional love" is problematic itself. It implies that there's a "right way to do" love, and whatever doesn't match the description is wrong, we're getting it wrong, at least in terms of interpersonal relationships (as to opposed to a more abstract "love for the world".) So I think we keep missing the love that we do have and feel, that's right in front of us, in the search for the "right kind of love". (Riley in S5, and Buffy and Spike in S6 being prime examples.)