STOP THE PRESSES HOLD THE PHONE AND THE HORSES - I AM CRYING HAPPY TEARS BECAUSE...

[red_satin_doll]

1) One of my dear friends gave me a paid account through 2016. (2016, y'all!) AND...

2) A second dear friend here in this fandom offered to extend my paid account and was ready to do so, AND...

3) Another beloved friend would if they could, AND....

I am really just stunned by the love and generosity of my friends here, I hardly know what to say except "THANK YOU." Thank you, thank you - and there WILL be polls, I swear! I will take advantage of that feature! (And I don't have to give up any of my userpics! *flings confetti*)

 When I first got into this fandom a couple of years ago I wished that I was "part of the crowd", or  that I'd been in fandom "back in the day" thinking I'd missed something. No. I'm right where I need to be when I need to be.  It's not about being part of a "clique", it's about clicking with people because we like and respect and love one another. I'm really not sure how I've been lucky enough to find so many wonderful friends here - who are as "real" to me as any so-called "real life friends"; you ARE my friends, full stop.) But I'm ever so grateful to have found my way here.

I wish I could pay this forward to someone else and feel mortified that I'm unable to now. Especially for two of my lovely homegirls kikimay (who has a basic account and would like a paid account) and clockwork_hart1 (whose gift account will be expiring very soon.) Since I can't do myself, perhaps someone else can?

BTW clockwork_hart1 casually mentioned that she wanted to write a meta about the Gift/Chosen and why she prefers Chosen as the ending to Buffy's story - and then posted it today, "The Hardest Thing in this World is to Live in It.". She's passionate and articulate and right-on; and I just want to pump my fist in the air and shout "YES!" As she said to me one time "I don't want Buffy's legacy to be the hole she leaves in the ground." This meta also goes into why female martyrdom as a plot device is deeply problemmatic. Go read it.

I AM ALSO CRYING BECAUSE....

4) I finally read velvetwhip's fic "Soft and Pink and So Very Sad" and it's one of the loveliest things I've ever read. Mr Gordo, post-The Gift. Gabrielle rec'd it to me as one of her own favorites and I'm glad she did. She should be proud of it, it's a heartbreaker. Grief and confusion, the ways our identity is tied up in someone else, but also powerlessness - it's a theme that the show often touches upon but Gabrielle's story takes it to the limit. This is how absolute helplessness feels, in the person of a stuffed pink pig. So ok, maybe not such happy tears with that one but more it feels good to cry, knowhatimean? (Euclid approves as well - he thinks she got Mr Gordon's voice exactly right. He's quite particular about such things.)

It makes an oddly appropriate thematic pairing with beer_good_foamy's S6 fic "Building Character" . Yes, it does. Read them both, then think about it a moment...I'll wait...See what I mean?

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

Yay!!!! I am so thrilled you are all paid up for years to come!!!!! You are such a lovely person and it doesn't surprise me at all that your friends pitched in.

I've been in this fandom for about a decade and a half and I can tell you that while it's changed and it's smaller, I still think it's wonderful and that's in large part due to new and splendiferous people like you finding and joining it.

As for your rec of Soft and Pink and Very Sad... now *I* am the one who's crying. Thank you for saying such lovely things about my story! *sniffles* It means so much to me that it touched you. Hug Euclid for me... and add a hug for yourself. You're uber terrific and that's a fact. I am glad beyond the power of tongue to tell that you are my friend.



Gabrielle

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

You were friend #3, you know. If you could you'd gift everyone a paid account with ribbons and bows and chocolate and sex and all manner of good things, because that's how big your heart is.

I'm stunned, I'm really stunned and I won't say who my benefactor is but it's someone who is super-duper special.

I still think it's wonderful and that's in large part due to new and splendiferous people like you finding and joining it.

And wonderful people like you who are the wise elders of fandom to welcome us newbies in and give us a home. (A decade and a half? And still writing constantly, still inspired by Willow and Angel? that is truly remarkable to me.)

Rec'ing your story was a pleasure, it's beautiful. I had no idea what I was in for, Truly special, as are you, my dear. I keep saying I don't know how I got so lucky to earn your friendship. I need to not overthink it. I know that when I have such special friends it must mean I'm an ok person.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

"Soft and Pink..." is so very good. But then I was always a sucker for Mr Gordo fic - one of the very first fics that got me hooked on fanfic was Meltha's "Last Will And Testament", which still gets to me.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad that you had friends that rallied around you and supported you. I'm excited to have you continue your role in fandom and look forward to more gleeful posts like this one. :)

velvetwhip's story is gorgeous and angsty and wonderful. It's amazing how much feeling she can instill in a little stuffed pig.

:)

[teragramm.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad someone gifted you with additional paid time! You were so happy to get that original paid time and I was sad it was expiring because you were sad. I just have to say, you have some lovely friends. ~_^

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I'd frgotten about that one thank you for the reminder!

rbfvid rec'd three Mr Gordo stories yesterday including another of Meltha's Mr Gordo fics
http://rbfvid.livejournal.com/4204.html?thread=25708

Their list doesn't include a couple of Mr Gordo (and Mr Gordo/Miss Edith) fics that I had bookmarked in the Computer That Went Up in Flames (TM) last year and I can't find now, or the Spuffy one where "someone" puts Mr Gordo in Buffy's backpack during Chosen.

I feel a sudden need to make some Mr Gordo art.

[quirkytizzy.livejournal.com]

I love it when friends are able to do this for each other. And it's important for us to remember that we really do care for each other. *HUGS AND HAPPY THINGS* This was a beautiful post to read!

[debris4spike]

I am so happy, like others I had wished I could afford it, but having had to cut my hours it's hard (as a single) to pay bills. But am bouncing here that someone has done that.

You wanted to be part of fandom, to me you have given my fandom a new bounce ... so, thank you very much.

That is an amazing conclusion - that Buffy's legacy was that hole in the ground. Sadly so true in much of those final 2 seasons.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

you have given my fandom a new bounce ... so, thank you very much.

Oh my gosh thank YOU so much for the compliment and the kindness! *hugs you* And I'm sorry about your hours being cut, very sorry. That's horrible when you lose income (so someone else who is already well-sorted can keep more money in their pocket? I have feelings about this.) What is your job/career?

That is an amazing conclusion - that Buffy's legacy was that hole in the ground.

I apologize if I wasn't clear with my meaning. By "hole in the ground" Lucy meant Buffy's grave in the Gift, not Sunnydale; it's about why she prefers Chosen to The Gift as the end of Buffy's story on a personal level as well as a feminist one, and the history of martyrdom being the ultimate purpose of women in culture and narratives, and how Buffy is meant to subvert that, not support it. She acknowledges the problems of the later seasons esp S7 and then explains why she doesn't want them erased or disregarded from canon. http://clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com/24601.html

Wednesday, July 9

[livejournal.livejournal.com]

User rahirah referenced to your post from Wednesday, July 9 (http://su-herald.livejournal.com/733465.html) saying: [...] [Short Fiction] Fic and meta recs [...]

[clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com]

YOU STILL PIMP ME TOO MUCH (and thank you, bless you, i love you)

I need to read Gabrielle story right now. Right now. I love her and her wonderfulness. She is a shining star in the fandom.

Also, OMG congratulations on the account! People are wonderful, aren't they? But I'm fine with a basic account, honestly. I didn't know what to do with the paid one when I got it - though the pic space was pretty. Kiki though? I'd love her to get a wonderful gift like this. She's awesome and deserves it.

[debris4spike]

No, that was me not explaining correctly! I agree that her death in The Gift overshadows the rest of her life, and the series.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Still not sure what you mean by "overshadows" sweetie? As in, you're not a fan of the last two seasons? Your prefer the Gift to Chosen? You like Buffy up to the Gift but can't identify after that? (my brain is a-jumble.)

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

I don't pimp you enough - I've been meaning to pimp the Buffy/River stories for over a month or more?

She is a shining star in the fandom.

ABSO-TIVELY. She exemplifies what's best and greatest in this fandom.

People are wonderful, aren't they?

they can be - I certainly have wonderful friends here!

And I admit the only thing I really used much was the pic space (I have spaces for 40 now - 40!OMG!) I liked checking the user stats a bit now and then but it's not something I do much. I really shall have to make use of the polls - silly polls if need be.

She's awesome and deserves it.

She does, and she would like it. I'd do if I could. Here's hoping the universe heard me (planting a seed, letting it take root...)

[debris4spike]

Sorry - I am meant to be ironing and making a bed, so my brain is feeling guilty.

No, I love Chosen (except for Spike's death ... but even that had it's good reasons). What I meant is that so much of those following 2 seasons were full of the angst of Buffy being pulled out of Heaven, Willow struggling with magic addiction, and her dark powers. Her lack of money, her relationship with Spike ... all were from her resurrection.

She died a hero - dying for her sister and the world ... I can understand why she hated feeling that she had to come back for more ...and the Belljoxa's Eye (?sp) telling her that it was her re-birth that had opened the door for the first evil must have worn away at her both at the time, and then after Chosen (I haven't read the comics at all)

Does that make sense?

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

Oh yes it does (and you're using my AL icon you devil you know I'll agree to anything *lol*)

all were from her resurrection.

Gotcha. I'm not happy with the way the show seemed to deal with her depression near the end of S6 "Buffy just needs to get over herself, pull herself up by her bootstraps and look after Dawn and oh by the way Giles was right." Um, no - she needs stability and an emotional and financial support system, a therapist and possibily meds.(And hugs and tea and cake and hot soup and daily naps.) waking up in her own coffin is one of the most horrifying things I've ever witnessed on tv, and then being so terribly alone afterwards. Joyce may not have been in the show much but her absence is so painfully felt (and this is where I cue up my rant about Giles. You know the tune, right?)

It brings up the issues of all the burdens Buffy bears and the weight of it (which is a metaphor for the burdens women bear generally in the world) but then retreats back in to the modern notion of "rugged individualism" perhaps without being aware of it. Am I making any sense here?

Although S7 actually reveals the lie behind that IMO esp in Selfless, CWDP, BoTN, EP - but then seems to reinforce it again.

and then after Chosen

The idea of the smile at the end is supposed to be that she's freed of the burden of being the ONE Girl in All the World (not that she necessarily has to give up slaying but that she has a choice now.) The direction Joss took the comics is - the exact opposite of that. There were so many interesting ways they could have gone.

(I haven't read the comics at all)

Every time I've tried I've given up - and needed to bleach my brain and my eyeballs. The Chain is said to be the only good thing about "season 8".

I don't consider them canon (Joss said he'd pitch the storyline of the comics out the window if he had a chance to do a Buffy reboot.) - friends don't let friends read the comics, not when they're so much good fanfiction about.

[clockwork-hart1.livejournal.com]

I liked the stats too, actually. I found them super interesting. And I would adore to give her a paid account if I could so, "dear Santa..."

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

Oh, "Last Will and Testament" is absolutely fabulous! One of my favs along with Telling Porkies )
Also, I have a question for you, as you are well-established Gordo fan... There was Mr.Gordo fansite, which is still partially available via wayback machine. Do you by any chance know how to contact it's maintainer? I wanted to ask if she/he would like to upload fics to AO3 as part of open doors project, or the permission to do it myself.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

There's a Mr Gordo fansite? How did I not know about this before? *squees*

Mr Gordo is totally the most important fella in Buffy's life. So says I.

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

Glad to see that you don't have to commit that horrible userpicticide anymore) And huge thanks for the recs!

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

Because he is a hero, you see!

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

And I feel an urgent need to see that Mr.Gordo art)

[slaymesoftly.livejournal.com]

So, yay for having your future on LJ secured for the next few years. The Gift vs Chosen meta was quite good an interesting. So true that the Buffy who survived the Hellmouth seems much more ready for a future than the one who saw no way out but to die.

There needs to be more Mr. Gordo fic. Funny or sad, it's always fun to read. This one was amazing.

[red-satin-doll.livejournal.com]

What other fella in the verse knew Buffy as a child and as an adult? In both LA and SD. NO ONE I tells ya.

[rbfvid.livejournal.com]

Buffy's relationship with Mr.Gordo - longest, fluffiest and actually the only happy relationship she ever had in this show. If you are for healthy stuff, shipping Burdo is the only choice!