When you get a little older you won't need that permission. I mostly say what's on my mind - or not. People can take it or leave it.
A friend of mine told me that when she turned 30. I hit 40 and was still waiting. Still am I guess.
Then again I know some folks who never get there no matter what age, so I'm making progress.
One day it could be us in need.
I have a friend in TN who is a Christian (not really conservative politically, although in the US we assume the two go together) and she and her hubby ride their Harley motorcycles with friends from their church and have picnics and cook-outs at motorcycle conventions and rock concerts to reach out to people who may be in need, but whose only experience with religion was being lectured and shamed and screamed at. And she's offered me wise words of support when I've needed it. And I think how we talk to one another - to not at - makes a huge difference.
But sometimes I've met a stranger and I said the thing they needed to hear in that moment, or they said something I needed to hear. We're both a bit better for it, and we never meet again. You never know.
I had to really think, to reminisce with siblings or friends to bring up happy ones.
My sweetie is the exact same way. She claims to have no happy memories. She does, but they're rare and they pop out randomly - always to do with her pet horses, dogs (and a couple of girls she really liked and pulled their pigtails.)
I went the other way; I forgot about my father's death until I was in my teens, and then I read a passage in a school textbook about Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders. I kid you not. I "forgot" about a lot of stuff, until I realized I didn't really. I'd just been holding it in. And that isn't healthy.
Guilt is such a drain on us all. Unless you have no empathy - than you're kind of a monster.
Amen, and amen. I understand now what my mom meant about my 1st stepfather (my sister's father) when she called him evil (and amended that by saying she thought that very few people were truly evil but...) I didn't get it at the time but I know now that's what she meant - he had no empathy. Basicallly, a raging overgrown child who abandoned both his daughters with both his wives. The tragedy is for him, missing out on them, missing out on my sister's beautiful children.
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A friend of mine told me that when she turned 30. I hit 40 and was still waiting. Still am I guess.
Then again I know some folks who never get there no matter what age, so I'm making progress.
One day it could be us in need.
I have a friend in TN who is a Christian (not really conservative politically, although in the US we assume the two go together) and she and her hubby ride their Harley motorcycles with friends from their church and have picnics and cook-outs at motorcycle conventions and rock concerts to reach out to people who may be in need, but whose only experience with religion was being lectured and shamed and screamed at. And she's offered me wise words of support when I've needed it. And I think how we talk to one another - to not at - makes a huge difference.
But sometimes I've met a stranger and I said the thing they needed to hear in that moment, or they said something I needed to hear. We're both a bit better for it, and we never meet again. You never know.
I had to really think, to reminisce with siblings or friends to bring up happy ones.
My sweetie is the exact same way. She claims to have no happy memories. She does, but they're rare and they pop out randomly - always to do with her pet horses, dogs (and a couple of girls she really liked and pulled their pigtails.)
I went the other way; I forgot about my father's death until I was in my teens, and then I read a passage in a school textbook about Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders. I kid you not. I "forgot" about a lot of stuff, until I realized I didn't really. I'd just been holding it in. And that isn't healthy.
Guilt is such a drain on us all. Unless you have no empathy - than you're kind of a monster.
Amen, and amen. I understand now what my mom meant about my 1st stepfather (my sister's father) when she called him evil (and amended that by saying she thought that very few people were truly evil but...) I didn't get it at the time but I know now that's what she meant - he had no empathy. Basicallly, a raging overgrown child who abandoned both his daughters with both his wives. The tragedy is for him, missing out on them, missing out on my sister's beautiful children.