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red_satin_doll) wrote2013-03-15 08:35 pm
red_satin_doll) wrote2013-03-15 08:35 pm
Buffy the Vampire Slayer 2 x 11: "Ted"
Originally posted at the Jossverse Big Damn Love Fest: http://big-damn-fest.dreamwidth.org/3818.html
RUNNER-UP: Best Meta (Not Fade Away) category of the Wicked Awards Round 10
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angelus2hot
***
Warning and Disclaimer: I have thoughts - and a lot of feelings - about "Ted". This is quite serious, and more than a little personal; some very triggery subjects will be discussed. I’m not kidding. If this isn't your thing, by all means feel free to hit the back button right now, and no hard feelings. If you chose to continue otherwise, considered yourself welcome as well as forewarned. But please leave your weapons at the threshhold before you come in. Then wipe your feet on the mat, and help yourself to cookies. (Or hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.) Also, I apologize for the formatting but LJ is being very disobedient tonight.
And then there's the simple truth that when you engage in violence, accidents happen. We aren't robots. We can't turn off and turn on with the flip of a switch--and if we could, then we'd be okay with murdering people to gain our own ends. That fact that Buffy's violence is motivated by love is essential; it is both dark and light--she dances on the razor edge and she only has her instincts to guide her. -
angeariahttp://2maggie2.livejournal.com/33960.html
***
In 1958 Lana Turner’s 14 year-old daughter Cheryl Crane stabs her mother’s boyfriend to death, allegedly in an effort to protect her mother. (The man, Johnny Stompanato, had gang connections and a history of violence behind him.) The court rules it justifiable homicide.
***
Thirty years later another teenage girl, oldest of four siblings, reads about Cheryl Crane, admires Crane’s courage, and wonders if she would be able to do the same, if the need arose. Her (second) stepfather is a large and powerful man; her mom is barely 5’3”. Would a baseball bat be sufficient? A kitchen knife? She decides on a rusty WW1-era bayonet and hides it by her bed. Her mom finds it and removes it without a word.
***
In the end, it’s unnecessary anyway; her mom divorces her husband and her daughter can breathe again, a little, and home becomes a safe place to be for the first time in years. It’s not that the girl wanted to hurt her stepfather. She knows that would be a horrific act; she also knows that there are people out there, other girls, for whom such things are unimaginable. But she’s been surrounded by violence her entire life, and so it’s not off the table. What is unimaginable in all her dark reveries, risking death for the sake of her family, is the notion of defending herself from her stepfather. Not once does that occur to her.
***
In 2012 the same girl, now a woman, finally watches Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time. She enjoys the cleverness and subversion of the “high school is hell” metaphors, the witty dialogue, the genre tropes and subversions. She is entertained and amused, even moved at times, but she doesn’t really identify with the pretty, perky ex-cheerleader at the center of the story. It doesn’t really touch her own experiences, and isn’t remotely scary, even when Buffy goes down to meet her death at the hands of the Master for the first time. (There are a total of seven seasons, after all; ergo, nothing to worry about.)
***
And then the woman watches “Ted” and for a few moments, she is terrified - for Buffy, and for the girl who hid a bayonet by her bed all those years ago. Memories she’s (thought she’s made) made peace with and packed away tumble out unbidden, like an overstuffed dresser drawer. She knows that her experience is not identical to Buffy’s, after all, and there’s a relief in that; the girl she once was couldn’t fight back, couldn’t protect her herself much less her family, and never even dared to protest or sass back; Buffy can, and does. She has resources that girl of long ago, and most abused children, can never dream of - confidence, physical strength, strength of character and will, resourcefulness, as well as devoted friends who come to her aid.
***
But Buffy Summers is just a girl, after all, a 16 year old girl operating on instinct. She’s been given a “license to kill” (demons) and almost zero guidance in how to use it. The Watchers’ Council cares nothing for her welfare, or for the countless girls who have preceded her; what matters is that the Slayer does her job properly and follows the arcane rules imposed upon her, traditions handed down through the centuries.
***
And then the woman watches “Ted” and for a few moments, she is terrified - for Buffy, and for the girl who hid a bayonet by her bed all those years ago. Memories she’s (thought she’s made) made peace with and packed away tumble out unbidden, like an overstuffed dresser drawer. She knows that her experience is not identical to Buffy’s, after all, and there’s a relief in that; the girl she once was couldn’t fight back, couldn’t protect her herself much less her family, and never even dared to protest or sass back; Buffy can, and does. She has resources that girl of long ago, and most abused children, can never dream of - confidence, physical strength, strength of character and will, resourcefulness, as well as devoted friends who come to her aid.
***
But Buffy Summers is just a girl, after all, a 16 year old girl operating on instinct. She’s been given a “license to kill” (demons) and almost zero guidance in how to use it. The Watchers’ Council cares nothing for her welfare, or for the countless girls who have preceded her; what matters is that the Slayer does her job properly and follows the arcane rules imposed upon her, traditions handed down through the centuries.
Ted Buchanan, as it turns out, would make an ideal Watcher by the Council’s standards, barring his use of physical violence, and even that’s not a sure thing. After all, the original Shadowmen chained a girl and forced the power of the demon upon her; the Watchers' Council may be more “civilized” on the surface, but they uphold a terrible tradition. The Slayer is used, discarded and replaced when she rebels or no longer suits the councils needs. Surely more personal abuse and violations of Slayers by individual Watchers is not beyond the pale.
***
Likewise Ted demands obedience from a string of women, discarding and destroying them when they disobey him or are no longer useful. How many Slayers throughout time have come before Buffy (later Kendra and Faith)? How many other people has Ted hurt or killed, women who wouldn’t follow the program, in addition to the four wives in his closet? The Watcher’s Council and Ted both operate within closed systems; they may allow minor changes and adjustments so long as the original paradigm is preserved.
***
Likewise Ted demands obedience from a string of women, discarding and destroying them when they disobey him or are no longer useful. How many Slayers throughout time have come before Buffy (later Kendra and Faith)? How many other people has Ted hurt or killed, women who wouldn’t follow the program, in addition to the four wives in his closet? The Watcher’s Council and Ted both operate within closed systems; they may allow minor changes and adjustments so long as the original paradigm is preserved.
***
Of course Buffy defeats Ted, motivated not just by her Slayer instincts but the instincts of a daughter and friend to protect the people she loves. She’s the Hero, after all. And yet she suffers for her actions; social ostracization, guilt, and shame. Heros may not end up in court charged with justifiable homicide but there are still consequences to bear. (There are always consequences.)
***
Or at least there are if the Hero is a teenage girl. Violence from men is so common as to be unremarkable; violent acts committed by women are still considered shocking. It’s no accident that at the end of the episode Buffy and Joyce agree to a rewatch of Thelma and Louise, a movie that disturbed and polarize audiences because two female protagonists commit violent acts against male characters onscreen; the same violence by male protagonists is a commonplace in movies, and a guarantee of box office sales.
***
So Buffy succeeds but at a cost. Her mother is safe but heartbroken and terribly lonely, unable to even look her daughter in the eye. Whatever her personal animosity towards Ted, much of it justifiable in light of his behavior, the last thing on earth Buffy ever wanted to do was to hurt her mother. The bond between them, one that suffered fissures long before “Ted Buchanan” came into their lives, is further damaged. And yet they love one another, deeply, no one questions that, and there’s the rub. The anger and love are warped and woven into one another so tightly that what poisons their bond also strengthens it.
***
And so it is with her best friends, with her mentor, with everyone who comes within her circle. Violence begets violence. It stains and spoils everything it touches; it cannot be put back into a tidy little box, locked up and tossed away. We can atone for it but we cannot undo it.
***
But this a fictional story and in fiction, unlike real life, there must be some catharsis for the viewer, a chance to release the anxieties the story has provoked, to relax and breathe again. And so it is for the characters themselves, or at least it seems at the moment. The episode ends happily, one might say conventionally, enough. More dramatically than the story of girl with the bayonet, perhaps (real life has no resolutions, remember); but Buffy and her mother come to an uneasy, unspoken peace on the back porch, their home (women’s space) reclaimed, and they can breathe again, for a time. Rupert Giles and Jenny Calender share a passionate kiss for the first time, Xander and Cordelia giggle while Buffy averts her eyes. It’s an ending worthy of Shakespearean comedy: All’s well that ends well.
***
Or at least there are if the Hero is a teenage girl. Violence from men is so common as to be unremarkable; violent acts committed by women are still considered shocking. It’s no accident that at the end of the episode Buffy and Joyce agree to a rewatch of Thelma and Louise, a movie that disturbed and polarize audiences because two female protagonists commit violent acts against male characters onscreen; the same violence by male protagonists is a commonplace in movies, and a guarantee of box office sales.
***
So Buffy succeeds but at a cost. Her mother is safe but heartbroken and terribly lonely, unable to even look her daughter in the eye. Whatever her personal animosity towards Ted, much of it justifiable in light of his behavior, the last thing on earth Buffy ever wanted to do was to hurt her mother. The bond between them, one that suffered fissures long before “Ted Buchanan” came into their lives, is further damaged. And yet they love one another, deeply, no one questions that, and there’s the rub. The anger and love are warped and woven into one another so tightly that what poisons their bond also strengthens it.
***
And so it is with her best friends, with her mentor, with everyone who comes within her circle. Violence begets violence. It stains and spoils everything it touches; it cannot be put back into a tidy little box, locked up and tossed away. We can atone for it but we cannot undo it.
***
But this a fictional story and in fiction, unlike real life, there must be some catharsis for the viewer, a chance to release the anxieties the story has provoked, to relax and breathe again. And so it is for the characters themselves, or at least it seems at the moment. The episode ends happily, one might say conventionally, enough. More dramatically than the story of girl with the bayonet, perhaps (real life has no resolutions, remember); but Buffy and her mother come to an uneasy, unspoken peace on the back porch, their home (women’s space) reclaimed, and they can breathe again, for a time. Rupert Giles and Jenny Calender share a passionate kiss for the first time, Xander and Cordelia giggle while Buffy averts her eyes. It’s an ending worthy of Shakespearean comedy: All’s well that ends well.
Except, of course, that we’ve seen the entire series, and we know too much. The moments that made us smile and cheer when we first watched are painful now. (Not as painful as the memory of that bayonet and all it represented, but certainly poignant.) The characters onscreen have the luxury of perpetual innocence; they can’t know yet that Buffy will hesitate to kill her lover and it will cost Jenny her life, and Giles his only chance at love; that Buffy will eventually run a sword through her lover’s heart. The truth of Buffy’s calling will be forced upon Joyce at the worst possible hour and their relationship will be very nearly destroyed.
***
Much has been made of Buffy’s “daddy issues”, at the cost of the complex mother/daughter relationship, and so scholars and fandom inadvertently repeat the sins of Ted Buchanan, and of the Watchers Council. We forget, dismiss or overlook the fact that it always comes back to this: the love between a girl trying to grow up in an uncertain and frightening world, and a lonely mother so deeply in denial she cannot see what’s in plain sight before her eyes.
***
And Ted’s fingerprints (do robots have fingerprints?) can be found in the final hours of Buffy’s story when Giles and “General Buffy” and their friends represent the last vestigal traces of the WC, haunted by ghosts and locked into a closed and destructive paradigm. Violence begets violence.
***
In 2012, Buffy became my Hero - by which I mean my fictional hero, my avatar, as opposed to real life heros such as my mother. (Make no mistake - in her capacity to love and endure, I consider my mother heroic.) My brothers grew up with Spiderman and Batman and Hans Solo; with countless tales of soldiers and kings throughout the ages. I had to wait until I was in my 40’s to find her.
***
Was it worth it the wait? Yes, it most certainly was. Yet I can’t help feel a little wistful that Buffy Summers wasn’t around in the 1970's or 1980’s; I certainly would have loved her then as I do now, if perhaps for different reasons. I can hope that in the years since that at least one other girl or boy, etched with anger and violence, haunted by dreams of murder that are so common as to be unremarkable, has felt just a little less frightened and alone because of her.
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I loved the meta and I loved Angearia's quote at the beginning - so perfect - and I'm sending you a big bear hug. Because of reasons.
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I felt also shocked when I read many comments in the ex Buffymaniac, now Serialmente, in which everyone is upset about Buffy's violent reaction and no one is upset about Ted's abusive behaviour.
The same attitude on American sites - we talked about this on your LJ a little before - is what inspired me to write this entry. (I was originally going to write about "Him" for the Big Damn Love Fest.) And that attitude was prevalent even on a site with an openly "feminist" orientation. "Feminist" does not mean we all believe the same thing, of course; but the attitude that "Buffy went over the line" was not only nearly-universal, but it became the focus to the exclusion of everything else in the episode.
This episode fits very neatly with the themes of the season, but it's still a show about a girl in high school, it's touching on a lot of the themes and tropes common in RL as well as movie and high school movie genres. I watched it the first time wishing that Buffy could just relax and give the guy a chance, let Joyce have someone in her life - until the scene at the mini golf course. The moment he threatens to slap her is when everything shifts for me, and I think the episode communicates that. The musical cues are suddenly ominous instead of comedic, the extreme close-up of Ted's and Buffy's faces conveys the sense of threat and danger, of coming too close into her physical space - crossing boundaries, just as he does verbally with the threat and physically later in her bedroom.
And if the theme is that of "power and responsibility (and misuse of it)" how can we focus on Buffy's "misuse" of her Slayer powers, and not talk about the fact that, like I said, the WC's abuse of power in making her a Slayer, in appointing Giles her Watcher; about Joyce's abuse of power in bringing a dangerous man into the home (and I say that as someone with great sympathy for Joyce); and most especially Ted's responsibility to NOT harm, terrorize, control and threaten other people? I'd say Buffy is still the most responsible person in the entire episode.
And her "killing" Ted here is NOT analogous to Faith stabbing the Mayor's assistant in S3, IMO. I don't think the show is saying the two acts have the same meaning so much as fandom conflates the two - it's a contrast, not a parallel. Buffy was fighting to protect herself and her mother's lives.
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And about divorced families, and the awkwardness of dealing with a parent's new partner; but to me this episode is also very much about the abuse of power and responsibility in general but ESPECIALLY in terms of the responsibilities of parents/adults (including teachers, administrators, etc) to children, which has huge ripple effects throughout the series. I just rewatched the dream sequence between Buffy and Hank in Nightmares and the actor and character reminds me so, so much of Ted- in the dialogue, in his physique and coloring, in the extreme close-ups of the two of them. (The resemblance makes a lot of sense - that Joyce would be attracted to someone who in some way reminds her of Hank, who may have reminded her of her father, etc etc.)
But somehow the theme of "misuse of power" gets pinned almost entirely to Buffy, that she's "irresponsible" in not pulling back. (Ted using his knowledge in computers to create robot Ted is another such abuse of power, and Willow's lines at the end of the episode foreshadow S6.) And it's odd to me; people have acknowledged that she take responsibility for Ted's "death", but earlier in the episode, when Ted catches her cheating at mini-golf she immediately owns up to it, even if it's a much bigger deal to her than him. And therein lies the problem; if he'd joked with her a bit, or winked or shrugged his shoulders, the outcome might have been completely different; she might have been more willing to give him a chance. When he threatens her - forget it. She's on high alert.
And here's the irony - if she'd let down her guard, the consequences certainly would have been worse. Eventually she would have eaten those cookies, she would have been lulled (drugged) like everyone else by his charming exterior. She and Joyce might have ended up dead, and so forth. That's a very real possibility, and a very frightening one in part because it's so terribly true. Abusers are not wearing warning signs on their chests, or scarlet letters; they're ordinary people, they can be charming and lovable; they can put on a good front for their friends or at work and then unleash their frustrations at home, etc.
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And it always scares me that sequence
Exactly.
And I think a lot of people - on the show itself and in fandom - chalk up Buffy's intuition to Slayer sense, or at least that's implied - but I don't think that's the whole story. Kids are remarkably attuned to what's going on around them; and in households where there is abuse, you have to be. It's about survival. Buffy's parents are divorced, she's grown up listening to them fighting, she's had to develop a very sensitive antenna. I think her Slayer skills simply interlock with or enhance what she already possesses. She's a good Slayer because of who she is, not the other way around IMO.
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I agree. And I really believe that physical force without resorcefulness or ability to study the situation is nothing for a good warrior. The difference could be that, for example, a normal person can also detect all the creepy aspects of Ted but if you aren't strong enough physical you can't fight him in case of attack. Buffy has the combo of these two aspects: she detects Ted's strangeness and she also can kick his abusive ass.
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I wish that all the girls in this world could react as Buffy did because sometimes it's really about surviving
The notion that someone doesn't have the right to defend themselves against an attacker/
abuser is abhorrent to me. I disagree slightly in that I wish that it wasn't an issue for anyone, period. It's best not to get into a relationship with someone abusive but you can't always know going in if someone will do that. We tend to be at our best at the beginning of a relationship, just as Ted is to Joyce at first; we only see his charming side, and it's very seductive.
It's best not to engage or get into that situation but human beings are violent, period. Check the history books and the newspaper - it's not going away any time soon. And that puts the burden on the victims rather than the perpetrators to change. No one goes into a relationship consciously thinking "I want to be abused and risk injury and death on a daily basis." And I suspect that very few people go in thinking "I want to hurt and terrorize the people I love." Abusers tend not to see what they do as abusive; from my experience both abuser and abused are wounded children in adult bodies who haven't fully (or even attempted to at all) processed their own hurts, their wounds; and taking it out on someone else, or enduring it, was what was modeled to them by their own families of origin.
And lostboy pointed out in his meta "Rules of Engagement", in RL most abuse victims are physically weaker than their attackers - fighting back isn't even an option. In most instances it's best not too engage - but that is often not an option either (if you leave the house, where do you go? For most people there are no shelters nearby, or they don't know the location of one.)
especially when a man hits you
I'd say that the gender of the abuser doesn't matter; abuse is abuse, full stop. (I have two brothers and sister.) At the same time, I agree with this statement:
So yes, the audience overlooked Ted and overlooked abusive men in BtVS mostly because I believe that we overlook them in RL. We are so used to them that we forget.
Statistically, women are more likely to be raped, injured and killed by someone they know - usually a male family member or partner - than by a stranger. That's certainly true in the US and dollars to donuts says that's true in your country as well. Men have fought most of the wars in human history. tv shows and movies are filled with countless protagonists who are no less violent than the villains and whom we're supposed to cheer on.
Ergo, we are immune to it because it's been normalized. Women are supposed to be the "peaceful" ones, the "nurturing" ones, so when women commit acts of violence, onscreen or RL and regardless of the context or motive, it's considered shocking and abnormal, monstrous even. (Women aren't even supposed to be angry.)
Ironically, I've noticed this line of thinking exists among both feminists and anti-feminists. (Women should be "assertive not aggressive", if women ran the world it would be a more peaceful place, Buffy crossed a line, blah blah.) And that's bullshit, IMO. I think it demonstrates a lack of understanding of the dynamics of violence and human psychology. It implies that men cannot be changed (boys will be boys) and it's up to us women to do it, to show the way.
That's why I think it's really brave that in S6, Willow abuses Tara - and I've gotten a lot of flak for that view from people who love and who hate Willow. I think it's brave that they went there because women do abuse other women, as well as men. Some lesbians are in abusive relationships, but that's not acknowledged because it doesn't fit the stereotypes of women or lesbians. And lesbians have perpetuated that stereotype, for what I think are obvious reasons.
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And when I wrote "when a man hits you" I wasn't talking about genders but really about something much stronger than you who hits you. And, of course, not all the men are strong. There are men thinner and weaker than a woman and, in that case, the woman has a fighting chance. But let's consider a man like Ted and a girl like Buffy in the real world: without supernatural powers Buffy is a skinny and petite girl. What's her fighting chance against a man like Ted in a case of physical attack? Realistically he would win against her and that's it.
Of course there are many ways to abuse somebody. Sometimes isn't about brute force at all - see the Willow and Tara's situation - and those are the times in which men and women are really on the same ground because a woman can be psychologically abusive as much as a man. But again different circumstances and different type of victims.
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But let's consider a man like Ted and a girl like Buffy in the real world: without supernatural powers Buffy is a skinny and petite girl. What's her fighting chance against a man like Ted in a case of physical attack? Realistically he would win against her and that's it.
I think I mentioned in my meta that my mom is 5' 3"; and both her husbands were large, strong men, with substantial girth, much more so even than John Ritter in this episode although he's still pretty substantial compared to SMG. And watching the fight scenes in this episode I think back to my mom trying to defend herself. And bless her, she was a "scrapper" and I'm not making light - she wasn't strong and didn't have self-defense skills but she wasn't one to back down either. I never saw her whimper or cower (thank god).
And that frustrated her husbands in exactly the same way that Buffy and eventually Joyce frustrate Ted. The more I look at it, the more I realize how much this episode gets it exactly right.
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But, you know, it's right to point out my mistakes or if I say something that you don't understand you can ask me to rephrase the sentence. Really! Sometimes I can't find the words to express my thoughts or I don't know how to write the words or I don't know certain expressions. I think I'm better in writing in English much more than speaking but I still make mistakes. Writing a lot helps me. So, don't worry at all.
Personally I think about myself in the Buffy-situation with another man. I'm physically weak and I guess that a man like Ted could easily break my bones. I guess that in these circumstances there is also some kind of survival instict going on so maybe I will still try to defend myself, but I'm really a girly girl when it comes to physical fight and I suspect that I'm not the only one ... so yes, I was glad that Buffy had superpowers but in a realistic situation it would be dramatic to escape. Really, all the Teds in this world are dangerous because not all the girl are Buffy.
Also, I think it's important to underline the way he suggests to send Buffy in a psychiatric clinic. I think it's important because there still are men with this power to send women in psychiatric hospitals and deprive them of their freedom. It's also something really bad that can happens apart from the beatings and it can happen if the girl isn't an adult. So yes, in this case it's about Joyce's responsabilty to protect Buffy in all the possible ways.
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Really, all the Teds in this world are dangerous because not all the girl are Buffy.
YES. THIS. So much this.
Also, I think it's important to underline the way he suggests to send Buffy in a psychiatric clinic.
Yes, and I'm surprised how much that gets overlooked. As a child Buffy has almost zero legal rights, and if Joyce marries Ted he has absolute power over her. Buffy doesn't start hitting the guy on a whim just because she feels like it; he's ramped up the threats step by step.
it's about Joyce's responsabilty to protect Buffy in all the possible ways.
Yes, and this is where it gets really tricky and painful - for me, at least. I have so much sympathy for what my mother went through (no one was hurt by her husbands worse than she was, and I don't necessarily mean physically), and I love her dearly but as a child, it's really hard to have your parent bring an abusive partner in the house, and then say that they love you more than anything in the world. It's confusing because the actions and words aren't congruent, and as a kid you can't know that your parent is terribly messed-up and in pain; you only know you depend on your parents, and yet you can't trust them.