http://red-satin-doll.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] red-satin-doll.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] red_satin_doll 2012-12-24 10:28 pm (UTC)

It feels like the more I think about it, the more I find I have a Willow-side and a Buffy-side.

I was thinking today that Buffy S1 is not as "happy fluffy sunny" as a lot of mainstream fandom would like to think. Watch WTTH - the "I'm fine" mask slips in her first interaction with Giles (when she backs away from the Vampyr book) or her second one, where she bursts out angrily over the ways being a Slayer has already changed her life. (Also, see "Becoming" - young Buffy listening to Hank and Joyce argue. God knows, I've been there with her.) She's already playing a role - the deconstruction of her psyche in the later seasons is already set up in S1. Which is part of why I love this show.

I always think that I should be more emotional connected to Willow because we both are quiet, shy people but I feel emotional understanding for Buffy

I know what you mean, and I think that's true for a lot of people (for me, it certainly is); there's a gap between "who I think I am" and "who I think I should be." But really, there are no "shoulds", or oughtn't be? It is what it is - easier said than believed.

Buffy is much more in tune with my neurotic, a little bit masculine and stoic side.

That's a pretty good description of her!

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