red_satin_doll | More thoughts about "Anne": Buffy's depression arc (2/?)

Note to self: Try rewatch an episode before writing meta about it. Because I rewatched "Anne" this morning, and it's even better than I remembered. In fact, I can say that it and "Bargaining" are my favorite season openers.

(Note to everyone else: I cannot get the lj cut tag to work, in either rich text or html, even after much effort. So I apologize for this all showing up on the Friends page. I assume you still love me anyway, gentle reader.)

I mentioned yesterday that "Anne" is an encapsulation of S6's theme of Buffy's depression in a single episode. Watching it again this morning, for the first time since I finished the series, I realized that it's an encapsulation of pretty much the entire seven seasons, (And it captures pretty much everything that makes it my favorite TV show ever: humor and drama in perfect balance, wonderful character work, and a kick-ass fight scene.)

First off, there's a lot going on in this episode, such as economic class issues, personified later in the season by Faith; and Xander and Cordy's difficult relationship, characterized by avoidance, dislike, insults and sex that masks genuine affection (shades of Buffy and Spike, anyone?) I'll talk about those in other meta posts, but for this one I want to focus on Buffy's depression arc as reflected in "Anne" and portrayed over the entire series. We tend to think of S6 (and late S5) as the "depression arc" but the show has been very careful to build that aspect of Buffy's character from the beginning of S2.

The opening scene with the Scoobies (Xander, Willow, Oz) trying to fight vampires in Buffy's absence, and botching it up (although I think they need to cut themselves some slack - half the vamps dusted is better than none, right?) will be repeated in "Bargaining": "We need Buffy". And their reaction to her return in the next episode, Dead Man's Party, will be called back in After Life: Taking her presence for granted once she returns, failing to ask her what's going on in her head, what she's been through, or what she might really need.

The reversal here of course is that in "Anne" she descends to a "Hell" from which she fights her way out; in the Gift she "ascends" to Heaven, only to be torn from it in "Bargaining" without her consent:

"Anne":
(Buffy) "This isn't hell."
(Ken) "What is Hell? The total absence of hope."

After Life:
"Where ever I was, I think I was happy....I was finished. Complete....I think I was in Heaven. And now I'm not. I was torn out of there, pulled out by my friends....Everything here is hard, and bright, and violen. Everything I feel, everything I touch - this is hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that, knowing what I've lost. They [the Scoobies] can never know. Never."

Buffy's monologue in AL, poignant as it may be (all praise to SMG's delivery), is summed in the single shot in "Anne" at the top of this post: despair, depression, PTSD, the sense of having lost everything: family, friends, lover, childhood innocence; exiling herself to an urban setting (L.A.) that is "hard...and violent." Even the reference to her friends' actions in Bargaining, and "They can never know [where I've been, what I've gone through]" is relevant to Becoming/Anne: Buffy never mentions Xander's lie ("Willow said 'Kick his ass' ") and her perception that her friends abandoned her until S7's "Selfless".

The dark, fiery setting of the underground factory is a place she returns to both physically and emotionally throughout the series.
She descends to that hell, the utter absence of hope in S5: TWOTW and The Gift; most of S6 up to Normal Again; EP and Touched in S7, finally vanquishing it physically and emotionally in Chosen.

BUFFY_S5_D6-Title2_wmv_0603

In each instance Buffy must fight to break through her depressive state by renewing connections to her Slayer instincts and to her friends and family on her own terms. The personal (Buffy) becomes the political (the Slayer). In both "The Gift" and "Chosen" her solutions to saving the world are also motivated by a desire to protect loved ones (Dawn in The Gift) or banishing her own fears (of dying alone, in "Chosen".) It's not coincidental that in most instances, with the exception of "Touched", this is facilitated primarily by other women, especially friends and family: Lily and Joyce in "Anne", Willow in TWOTW, Dawn in "Grave", Joyce again in "Normal Again". One of BtVS's strength is that it continually affirms and values relationships between women in a way that was (and is) still relatively uncommon in US movies and tv shows. (See

gabrielleabelle's meta "Women, Connecting".)

"Touched" twists the pattern around a bit: Spike, arguably the most "androgynous" of the male characters (he and Buffy have shifted male/female role expectations fluidly, if not easily, throughout their relationship) reestablishes the emotional connection that allows her to break through and reclaim her identity and purpose. That can be interpreted positively: the male and female halves of Buffy (as well as Spike), the anima and animus, joined together in strength rather than weakness; or negatively: women will ultimately betray one another, and a woman's most important connections are with men. I'm not wanting to engage in a "Spuffy-centric" conversation here, btw; I'm just trying to parse out the writers' intended and unintended messages in the gender twist to the pattern.

Buffy then reconnects with Willow and Faith ("Good thing we're such hot chicks" / "Takes the edge off") to create the Slayer spell and connect through and with them with all the Potentials all over the world. That the spell has a some very unpleasant implications - violation of personal agency, the creation of a master race, etc - is something that has been thoroughly discussed and I'm going to put aside in-depth consideration of it for the moment - again, I'm trying to look at it only in the context of Buffy's depression arc. In this regard, however, I think

local_max made an excellent point the other day that in the context of Chosen Buffy is less trangressive than Willow, and I'd argue that Buffy's affirmation of the WC's mission, spreading it outward, continuing the "war" rather than questioning, subverting or rejecting it entirely, supports his observation. In "Anne" the positive negative implications of the Slayer spell are foreshadowed in Buffy's command to a scared and reluctant Lily (a sort of proto-Potential, if you will) that she lead the other workers out of the factory: "You can handle this - because I say so". She acts as "General Buffy", commanding the troops, delegating tasks, and empowering another girl, or more precisely permission (via a verbal kick in the ass) to claim her own power; but she has also makes an assumption about the other girl's ability or willingness to do the task out of immediate practical need without prior proof that Lily can step up to the plate, and is proven only by happenstance. (What if Lily hadn't pushed Ken off the scaffold?)

That her depressive episodes reoccur over the run of the series (and I am purposefully excluding the comics as I do not consider them head-canon, at least) indicate that simply "getting over herself" is not sufficient to solve her underlying issues. The show's attitude towards professional therapeutic help ("Beauty and the Beasts", and "Normal Again") is a bit of a mixed bag, and I want to on more in-depth on the subject in another meta. Suffice it to say, Buffy never receives real help, except of the bootstrap variety; no therapy - or rest - for the Slayer.

(I've got a lot more to say about "Anne": about Joyce's anger toward Giles and the WC, about Xander and Cordy's relationship, class issues, etc. To be continued....)

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So much yes. I watched the scene I chose above - Buffy on the bed in that tiny LA apartment, with an open soup can in her hands, unable to summon the will or energy to feed herself - self-care is one of the first things to go in depression - and it hit me very hard because I know that feeling intimately. It's all the more amazing in that according to Joss, Sarah had never experienced depression and had a hard time understanding the utter lack of focus that accompanies it; and yet hers is one of the best portrayals of the illness I've ever seen. (And ironically, it's a subject she returned to in Veronika Decides to Die, and The Grunge 2.)

I read a fan comment on the ATV Club that SMG "Doesn't do glum well." Huh? Honestly, she had me fooled, and I know from "glum." I was also watching Beauty and the Beasts (s.04), the first time we see her seeking a therapist's or counselor's help because Angel has returned; that one scene, in which she is panicked, distraught and terrified deserves it's own meta analysis.

and she has this great tension to give up. Giving up for Buffy means death
If anything I'd argue that she tries not to give up and keeps fighting until it's too hard to bear anymore; being the Slayer - and having Slayer strength - doesn't translate into emotional strength, but it's a load she has to bear on her own. And it's that tendency to keep going beyond her own breaking point that causes so much trouble, esp in S7.

A lot is made of the "Slayer's death wish" but I don't entirely buy it. Being out of a difficult and painful situation, wanting relief, wanting to simply rest, is not the same as wanting to die. She may be "suicidal" in The Gift (although the only other option is to sacrifice her own sister, and that is NOT in Buffy's nature; and anyway I think there's more too it), and in OMWF, but for the most part I think the "death wish" is overstated. Struggling with depression myself I can tell you that "life" is the strongest force there is; our body and mind struggle to stay alive and choose it over death. If this were not the case, then suicides would be legion.

And of course she has no recourse to therapy, which would have been a boon to her.

I often think about her last goodbye with Angel, in S3. She just stands there, she doesn't fight.

Interesting, I hadn't thought about it in that light.

I have the most biggest crush for Sarah and, like you, I'm impressed by her ability to portray depressed women. She's just so realistic, she's incredibly perfect.
About the death wish thingy I agree with you, but I want to express myself better: if living as Slayer means an endless fight, the secret wish would be to cease to fight, to find peace. Giving up on battling everytime and find some space to rest. Except that this, for a Slayer, means death because a Slayer must be always prepared (Kendra!).
I think that Buffy can embrace fighting and resting only in Season Seven, when she understand how it's done living, basically.
I have also experience with this kind of unpleasant stuff and I can tell that, for me, the hardest thing is trying to be a balanced person, knowing when I need to fight with all my energy and knowing when I need to rest and have faith in the people beside me. It's really the hardest thing and maybe I'm projecting my issues on Buffy, but I feel that she also find it very hard.

I have a crush on Sarah too (hey, I'm a lesbian - allowed, right? And she is just freaking ADORABLE, and fierce) and I enjoy her forthright qualities, her willingness to speak her mind and not be "nice" in the way girls are supposed to be (hence the "bitch" label); on the other hand I watched her on a recent late night show and saw that she has a fiercely competitive streak. I wouldn't want to be in her sights but I'm glad she exists, if that makes sense? Sharon Stone said "A vagina and a point of view are a dangerous combination" and I think that fits Sarah nicely.

if living as Slayer means an endless fight, the secret wish would be to cease to fight, to find peace. Giving up on battling everytime and find some space to rest. Except that this, for a Slayer, means death because a Slayer must be always prepared (Kendra!).

I understand what you mean now. (Kendra is an excellent point. And the only "rest" Faith got was in a coma - caused by Buffy. ouch.)

I think that Buffy can embrace fighting and resting only in Season Seven, when she understand how it's done living, basically.

I dare say that it's own journey entirely, and one she's just beginning. I think Giles had it wrong when he said in Tabula Rasa "Your mother taught you everything you need to know about life" (what parent ever can?) but that's just Giles being Giles, hiding emotional connections beneath logic and reason because he can't manage the deeper connections. He can be her Watcher but not her father when she needs him to be in S6.

That's why the Slayer Spell is supposed to free her (and Faith) of course.

It's really the hardest thing and maybe I'm projecting my issues on Buffy, but I feel that she also find it very hard.

Very much so. The hardest thing in this world IS to live in it, even without the Slayer burdens.

gal-crushes FTW.

I wish the comics had done a more decent job especially because of that.

Scrub that junk from your mind and read

angearia's epic WIP version of S8, "Thought You Should Know" instead; or

rebcake's post-Chosen, pre-NFA, "Whose Torment Is this Anyway?" (I could name several other fics but I'll start there for now.)

http://angearia.livejournal.com/53356.html
http://rebcake.livejournal.com/45817.html

Thank you very much for the suggestions!

I forgot to add brutti_ma_buoni's "Rulesverse" which is quite elaborate (in a good way) and covers the post-series establishment of the Slayers Council but focuses on Giles/Faith as the main 'ship. But it also has fun with organizational constructs, and the story where Giles overhears IIlyria acting as a "guidance counselor" to one of the new Slayers is very funny.

A few others have occurred to me this weekend - but I need to clean up my bookmarks on my computer, put fanfic into it's own folder and then I should be able to find things more easily. I may end up doing a few rec posts - one for fic, one for meta?

Do as you prefer, I tend to read your posts anyway. :D

<3

Confession - I started dipping into Chapter 3 of The Queen last night (ooh, Willow!) and was enjoying Willow very much so I need to go back to the beginning!

I need feedback for my English. Slaymesoftly is helping me a lot, without her I couldn't do anything.
I hope you enjoy the story. Willow is so cool, she's a goddess!

More thoughts about "Anne": Buffy's depression arc (2/?)

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