Partly because I couldn't stand her at first! For the first half of the season I was like, what happened to my brave hero who always tried to do the right thing?
That interesting *strokes chin* I think I only loved Buffy more, and harder, during the first half of the season. Part of it was I identified with having depression, even with suicidal feelings, so I got where she was coming from there - and she was dealing with PTSD 1000 times greater than mine. So I had no trouble understanding where she was coming from.
And yes, I have "parental abandonment issues" big time, as you've probably seen in my past posts. So I see myself in her, but also my mom, when I was growing up - the whole theme of the world on a single mother's back? I actually had more insight into what my mom must have gone through when she was trying to do it all on her own with four kids and no one to fall back on.
I admit I get a little irritated with the "all Buffy needs to do is pay more attention to Dawn" theme because that sort of contradicts the other - no one person can do EVERYTHING. I WISH my mom had gone out more, dated occasionally worked less 60-80 hours a week (her bosses didn't care or reward her anyway), taken time to develop friendships and had fun once in a while. because Angel was right in Ted, lonliness is a horrible thing. Being the "one...in all the world" is hard. (Look at me, giving Angel his props. I think I'm growing as a person!
I loved her in Dead Things because she was trying so hard to get back to who she was, the person who was righteous, and she felt so terrible about, well, everything to do with her relationship with Spike, from his monstrousness to her abuse, that I couldn't not love her.
Oh I love Dead Things LOVE IT SO MUCH. It was the first episode I watched when we got the cable hooked up in the apartment last Sept. It might be my favorite ep along with Who are You. The pain, everything - she is so lost. And the thing that gets "lost" in conversations about it is that she's trying so, so hard to do "the right thing", with nothing but her own moral compass. That's part of what I mean by the comment that she and Spike are "dragging themselves and each other to Hell" that season. It was totally a two-way street, they're both "depressed" and they were doing each other NO good whatsoever. She thinks she has to punish herself, he thinks he's being the chivalrous "black knight" of late Victorian fantasies and "saving" her, etc.
Road to Hell and all that jazz.
I am fascinated by that, I feel so much but do I ship it? Heck no. Of course not.
Sorry that isn't one of my own icons (this one is). I wasn't thinking when I posted with that one. organza made it. I haven't brought many of my own icons out to play yet, since I'm still shy about them.
I'll bet you told me that and I forgot. Mind=sieve. And believe me I bet people will love seeing them. NEver mind that I've got about 700 I haven't posted. (that was not a typo btw - 700.) And never mind that I've got snippets of fic I'm terrified to post because I think it's awful. So not exactly a great follower of my own advice!
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That interesting *strokes chin* I think I only loved Buffy more, and harder, during the first half of the season. Part of it was I identified with having depression, even with suicidal feelings, so I got where she was coming from there - and she was dealing with PTSD 1000 times greater than mine. So I had no trouble understanding where she was coming from.
And yes, I have "parental abandonment issues" big time, as you've probably seen in my past posts. So I see myself in her, but also my mom, when I was growing up - the whole theme of the world on a single mother's back? I actually had more insight into what my mom must have gone through when she was trying to do it all on her own with four kids and no one to fall back on.
I admit I get a little irritated with the "all Buffy needs to do is pay more attention to Dawn" theme because that sort of contradicts the other - no one person can do EVERYTHING. I WISH my mom had gone out more, dated occasionally worked less 60-80 hours a week (her bosses didn't care or reward her anyway), taken time to develop friendships and had fun once in a while. because Angel was right in Ted, lonliness is a horrible thing. Being the "one...in all the world" is hard. (Look at me, giving Angel his props. I think I'm growing as a person!
I loved her in Dead Things because she was trying so hard to get back to who she was, the person who was righteous, and she felt so terrible about, well, everything to do with her relationship with Spike, from his monstrousness to her abuse, that I couldn't not love her.
Oh I love Dead Things LOVE IT SO MUCH. It was the first episode I watched when we got the cable hooked up in the apartment last Sept. It might be my favorite ep along with Who are You. The pain, everything - she is so lost. And the thing that gets "lost" in conversations about it is that she's trying so, so hard to do "the right thing", with nothing but her own moral compass. That's part of what I mean by the comment that she and Spike are "dragging themselves and each other to Hell" that season. It was totally a two-way street, they're both "depressed" and they were doing each other NO good whatsoever. She thinks she has to punish herself, he thinks he's being the chivalrous "black knight" of late Victorian fantasies and "saving" her, etc.
Road to Hell and all that jazz.
I am fascinated by that, I feel so much but do I ship it? Heck no. Of course not.
Sorry that isn't one of my own icons (this one is). I wasn't thinking when I posted with that one. organza made it. I haven't brought many of my own icons out to play yet, since I'm still shy about them.
I'll bet you told me that and I forgot. Mind=sieve. And believe me I bet people will love seeing them. NEver mind that I've got about 700 I haven't posted. (that was not a typo btw - 700.) And never mind that I've got snippets of fic I'm terrified to post because I think it's awful. So not exactly a great follower of my own advice!