All the older women in BtVS are not an example and, if they are, they are a bad example (Maggie) but I guess it's more about generations than genders. Older generations are represented by Joyce, but also by Giles and all the Council members (And maybe by vampires too. Spike and Angel are pretty old and they show it at times) while the younger generation is the one that matters (Willow, Buffy, Dawn, Xander etc) I think it's more about generations. Or at least, that's my first impression.

Joyce doesn't look good in Gingerbread, but I LOVE that episode. Especially because it's so true. The error of all these women was to judge and take a stand against something they really didn't understand. Joyce is tricked by the creepy children but the others are becoming the medieval inquisition without no basis and without real desire to understand and how many times that happens in RL? Against immigrants, gay, atheist or whatever. There's always someone who has to "protect" society from the evil bad different people. And while Joyce is tricked, Sheila is just superficial and pompous, the Mayor *knows* all the time and he uses this thing to take personal advantage.

The thing about Joyce - and generally women - having to be private, just strikes me in the comics, because of the all Twangel - "I'm taking back everything I did in seven seasons" - plot. And it doesn't feel good.