We *really* can't remember our heroes being that young. :D
I think Eliza Dushku was an exception, she actually WAS 17 in S3; but she looks so much older than that, I had no idea until I read it online after I watched Season 3. (Of course she wears all that make-up.)
And from what I have read online, the writers originally conceptualized Dawn as ten years old until Sarah insisted that Michelle be cast. Somehow the writing never caught up until Michelle herself insisted she be written more age-appropriately, which is part of why she's more mature in S7. (if what I read online is to be believed.)
Long story short, in my headcanon, the monks have no clue what a modern teenage girl is actually like (duh, right?), and Dawn has no actual physical memories of being a "real" girl in the world, of being a teenager; she has to create everything for herself.
And Buffy has no kinetic physical memories of being an older sibling; she's never actually played that role in her life; whereas Joyce can slip easily into the "mother" role to Dawn because she has actually been a mother; she has life experience in the role to build on (or that the monks spell can build upon.)
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I think Eliza Dushku was an exception, she actually WAS 17 in S3; but she looks so much older than that, I had no idea until I read it online after I watched Season 3. (Of course she wears all that make-up.)
And from what I have read online, the writers originally conceptualized Dawn as ten years old until Sarah insisted that Michelle be cast. Somehow the writing never caught up until Michelle herself insisted she be written more age-appropriately, which is part of why she's more mature in S7. (if what I read online is to be believed.)
And I have a fanwank - I mean, a theory - about Dawn and Buffy and the monks spell to cover the writers' asses! *points to conversation with wickedbish abovethread*
http://red-satin-doll.livejournal.com/31317.html?thread=790869#t790869
Long story short, in my headcanon, the monks have no clue what a modern teenage girl is actually like (duh, right?), and Dawn has no actual physical memories of being a "real" girl in the world, of being a teenager; she has to create everything for herself.
And Buffy has no kinetic physical memories of being an older sibling; she's never actually played that role in her life; whereas Joyce can slip easily into the "mother" role to Dawn because she has actually been a mother; she has life experience in the role to build on (or that the monks spell can build upon.)
Works for me anyway.