red_satin_doll (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
red_satin_doll) wrote2013-12-24 01:38 pm
red_satin_doll) wrote2013-12-24 01:38 pm
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Because I don't like to make assumptions except when I make assumptions:
A very happy and peaceful whatever-the-heck-you-celebrate to everyone on my foist.
(And if you don't celebrate anything, that's cool too.)
You know it, Faith. (If I were anymore generic I'd be reduced to "have a nice day".)
(And if you don't celebrate anything, that's cool too.)
You know it, Faith. (If I were anymore generic I'd be reduced to "have a nice day".)
no subject
I'm not sure if it's about being "PC" at all, just wanting to be sensitive. (And in my case I have a horrible "need to please" - because of my upbringing, being able to sense moods is a survival technique - but also, low self-esteem and all that; the other side of my see-saw is a certain bluntness and damned the torpedoes and full speed ahead attitude that's gotten me in trouble more than once! *lol*)
Well I think it's better than the other way around.
Yes, I don't think there's anything wrong with erring on the side of consideration and respect. We get there eventually. ( I've occasionally heard someone say that someone else is "too PC" used as a justification for being insensitive/racist/etc and not wanting anything to change.)
It would be like if there was a national holiday for heterosexual marriages and everyone talked about it for a month and complete strangers constantly asked you what your husband was going to get you
You mean that DOESN'T actually happen the minute you get that engagement ring on your finger? *lol* But your marriage analogy fits quite well on one level. As a legal and religious institution it's like a shop window I occasionally get to peek into but I can't walk inside and buy anything. And there isn't a national holiday for it per se, but in the spring all the newspapers and magazines have their obligatory "wedding issue" to prep people (re: the dollar signs) for June weddings; then you read about benefits straight couples have legally that you don't get to enjoy, yadda yadda.
OTOH I think there is a difference in that we can each presumably (once we're adults) chose what if any religion to practice, how to spend our holidays and so forth; whereas the institution of marriage (legally and religiously) is not something I am even allowed to chose, except in a few states and even then it's mostly symbolic (unless you actually are a state employee, or live somewhere like Massachusetts that instituted statewide health insurance that includes couples married in the state.)
So, yeah, complicated!
I'm in Minneapolis btw.
*shivers* Native or transplant?
I grew up in Michigan (suburbs of Detroit) and when I moved to NOrth Carolina I kept hearing OMG it's so cold there! As if I'd grown up on a frozen tundra! The thing about growing up in a "cold" place is there's always someplace you think of as colder - and Minneapolis is one of those places for me. (Along with Buffalo and Wisconsin.) I base this on friend's descriptions of Wisconsin and you're right on the state border aren't you? Do you get a lot of winds off the lakes?
no subject
My parents would have described themselves as Reform. I suppose I would describe myself as agnostic when it comes to God and religion, but being a Jew is sort of "who you are" and really goes beyond religion.
As an adult, I don't do anything special to recognize the Jewish holidays, and obviously I don't celebrate Christmas. So in December, as I said, I enjoy the festive atmosphere and various parties and dinners, but there is no specific day that means anything to me. I've been like this for so long, it feels perfectly natural to me. The only time it feels the least bit weird is when I am confronted with other people's discomfort.
I do feel we are on the verge of a dramatic shift in our cultural thinking in this country. I was a little girl during the civil rights movement, but a young woman during the women's movement. I remember the long struggle for small gains - things we take for granted now. I think the same will be true for LGBT equality.
I know you have your holiday plans, and you are probably getting to those plans right about now, so don't worry about answering this at all. But if you have the time, or maybe some other day, I would really love to know what it's like in North Carolina. I grew up in Mpls, but lived in Denver and Phoenix as well. Never liked Phoenix. Loved Denver. Love Mpls too, but the weather sucks almost every day and that is getting OLD.
Have a very Merry Christmas!
I did ask...(pt1)
When I was in college one of my mentors described herself as culturally Jewish but religiously atheist when asked; I remember another friend at the time not understanding how that was possible, but it made perfect sense to me and still does. Maybe because I've been all over the map in terms of religion although my history and background are a "fixed point".
I remember the long struggle for small gains
Ah, you have the "long view" and I appreciate that so much. George Santayana wrote "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it" (full disclosure: I had to look that up, I was getting it confused with something Henry Ford said *smacks forehead*) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Life_of_Reason But I think that could be altered to "those who ignore the past..." as well, and human beings are awfully good at doing just that, myself included. f.ex. I've recently watched some documentaries about labor and class struggles in America and Europe in the late 19th century, an area where my knowledge is woefully lacking, and realized how closely it resembled what's going on right now. None of this is new. I had no idea that the Triangle Shirtwaist Fire of 1915, for instance, followed months of labor struggles by female employees for better wages and conditions, fought with little to no support from male labor unions.
It's easy to get complacent and say "oh it's all good now". (And I'm being incredibly uneloquent right now, sorry for the word salad.) I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's important to remember where we've been, who came before us, to honor those who fought so we could have the rights and benefits we now take for granted. To appreciate that it's a struggle, and a PROCESS, as you say.
I would really love to know what it's like in North Carolina.
Oh! It took me quite a while to re-acclimate to living in the North. On a visit home from NC my family remarked that I walked and talked slower; my friends down there called me an honorary southerner. Now I guess people could call me an honorary New Englander, but there is a difference in pace. It's not the "deep south" (at the risk of being accused of stereotyping, I have my South-Carolina born and raised sweetheart's word on that). There actually is a slower, more relaxed pace, but this was when I lived in Greensboro, NC - the biggest cities there like Charlotte, or Raleigh-Durham; or towns where a lot of northerns have moved to, like Asheville, are another story.
It is - or was - very temperate weather for the most part (but that was 20 years ago, keep in mind); a lot of people were moving to NC either to retire or for the economic advantages because of the combination of weather, MUCH cheaper real estate and overall cost of living (although food and gas and other things have also evened out with the north I think, so it's mostly the real estate that's a factor), good hospital and medical systems in the larger towns set up to draw retirees. Asheville and greensboro, where I lived 3-1/2 years each, have metastasized since we lived there - we visited two years ago and hardly recognized parts of those towns. (And too bad about Asheville because it's in the mountains so it's beautiful, has great architecture, nifty shops and galleries, a co-op grocery 30+ years old and going strong but oh my is the traffic downtown a nightmare.)
You have the conservativism of the laws down there strangely at odds with a lot of progressive ideas being practiced in fact; my first encounters with alternative healing and nutrition, with Thai and vietnamese cuisine, with gay and lesbian activism and support groups, with Wicca and paganism, all occured down there - not in suppposedly-progressive Asheville, but in middle-of-nowhere Greensboro of all places. It gets more conservative as you get to more rural areas. When I moved down there I was nervous because I'd just come out as a lesbian but Greensboro turned out to be a good place to "land" - a decades-long established LGBT support network (Alternative Resources of the Triad), three colleges in town, etc.
Re: I did ask...(pt2 - sorry for the ramble)
The springtime is something else down there. When I moved to Greensboro I had never seen so many flowering trees and shrubs in my life. The lilac bushes I grew up with were missing, but there were things I'd never seen in person before: magnolia trees, huge azalea bushes, pansies in bloom through November, honeysuckle that blooms three times over the course of the year. I miss the wealth of springtime flowers.
I don't miss the flat skies - the "Carolina blue" associated with the University of North Carolina sports teams' uniforms is a pretty accurate approximation of the skies in the middle and western part of the state. The Atlantic coast region is probably a different matter. I missed the vivid sunrises and sunsets from growing up in Michigan and that I enjoy now in New England. Asheville, for it's beauty, is something of a sink-hole in the middle of the mountains for smog coming out of Tennesse and other areas.
The other thing about living there that is very different to here in New England is the fact that each city or town is hours away from the others but you're used to that! And back then we didn't have the internet, which would have made shopping easier. If it wasn't available in town, you did without. *lol* I don't know if any of that is what you were wanting to know? Have a very happy new year!
Re: I did ask...(pt2 - sorry for the ramble)
Happy New Year, my dear!! May 2014 be very, very good to you!
Re: I did ask...(pt2 - sorry for the ramble)
I think I would be uncomfortable in a state with such conservative politics, though.
When I moved to Greensboro NC to go to grad school I had JUST come out as a lesbian that year - I mean, fully, completely, all-the-way out, not peeping between the slats of the door. And I was a little freaked out because I had the same stereotypes of southerners as...well, as I suspect a lot of northerners have. After I'd been there a while my mom asked "aren't they prejudiced down there?" and I said, "they're prejudiced up north too". Which is true - I come from Detroit, which might possibly be THE MOST racially segregated city in the nation. I saw far more interracial couples in NC than I had in Michigan up to that point.
And I was lucky that ART was in Greensboro and a lesbian support group. I'd had no idea before I went there - not like today, we can do so much research online!
My sweetie and I have talked about moving back, and Greensboro would probably be ok. But there isn't gay marriage there like in CT (and the recent Windsor case may affect our decision), and although she has family in Chattanooga who would like to have her nearer, I'm not really all that thrilled about moving back to a more conservative area. It's probably better than some other states, but everything is relative.
Probably why we've dragged our feet on the issue and stayed here in CT for ten years.
And a very happy new year to you, and much joy to you in 2014 - it's just hours away isn't it? See you on the other side!