Bugger, were you being stroppy and I missed it. You do know my heart lies entirely with Spike even though I know he was a selfish ratbag and I know what Buffy had to deal with but I love the white haired guy so much more. :D
You'd be surprised, perhaps, at the number of people who do not just get on with it and continue to save the 'world' in face of a personal horror/trauma. It's hard to be strong so a lot of people do not even try. And when one is the strong one, people just expect that person to carry on regardless and never have a down day and always live up to other people's ideas of how they should behave.
Buffy is a victim of being the strong one, the one that has to lead. She is not allowed mistakes. or to wallow or feel sorry for herself. She is supposed to get over it and help every one else with their problems. So I probably being mean when I call her selfish for breaking up with Spike 'because it's killing me' and not because she was using him, had been using him, had been leaving him to change on his own.
Re: Ok, now I think I get what you mean by surprises
You'd be surprised, perhaps, at the number of people who do not just get on with it and continue to save the 'world' in face of a personal horror/trauma. It's hard to be strong so a lot of people do not even try. And when one is the strong one, people just expect that person to carry on regardless and never have a down day and always live up to other people's ideas of how they should behave.
Buffy is a victim of being the strong one, the one that has to lead. She is not allowed mistakes. or to wallow or feel sorry for herself. She is supposed to get over it and help every one else with their problems. So I probably being mean when I call her selfish for breaking up with Spike 'because it's killing me' and not because she was using him, had been using him, had been leaving him to change on his own.