Re: Mater. You briefly mentioned Spike in the kitchen, but there was also the scene of him laughing with Joyce and Dawn, perfectly comfortable in the kitchen, in the woman's space. And that's the difference between Spike and Angel and Riley (do we ever see them in the kitchen? Or is it a likely glaring but purposeful blank in my mind?): They're the alpha male type. They can't follow a woman as her second-in-command, and Spike can. With Spike, Buffy remains the hero, as she should be. Because Spike understands women better than they (Angel and Riley) do. What was the point of the Wife of Bath's tale in The Canterbury Tales? That women want to be queen. Riley and Angel are he-man "I want to be king, dammit!" types, and Spike's a "I'm fine being the prince consort" kind of guy.

That's about as coherent as I can be right now.

Also: what if there was space for Tara and Spike to be bffs? That's one of my favorite things in fic. Buffy/Dawn/Spike/Tara is my happy family OT4.