the episode, to me, was majorly about this character abusing Joyce and Buffy.
And about divorced families, and the awkwardness of dealing with a parent's new partner; but to me this episode is also very much about the abuse of power and responsibility in general but ESPECIALLY in terms of the responsibilities of parents/adults (including teachers, administrators, etc) to children, which has huge ripple effects throughout the series. I just rewatched the dream sequence between Buffy and Hank in Nightmares and the actor and character reminds me so, so much of Ted- in the dialogue, in his physique and coloring, in the extreme close-ups of the two of them. (The resemblance makes a lot of sense - that Joyce would be attracted to someone who in some way reminds her of Hank, who may have reminded her of her father, etc etc.)
But somehow the theme of "misuse of power" gets pinned almost entirely to Buffy, that she's "irresponsible" in not pulling back. (Ted using his knowledge in computers to create robot Ted is another such abuse of power, and Willow's lines at the end of the episode foreshadow S6.) And it's odd to me; people have acknowledged that she take responsibility for Ted's "death", but earlier in the episode, when Ted catches her cheating at mini-golf she immediately owns up to it, even if it's a much bigger deal to her than him. And therein lies the problem; if he'd joked with her a bit, or winked or shrugged his shoulders, the outcome might have been completely different; she might have been more willing to give him a chance. When he threatens her - forget it. She's on high alert.
And here's the irony - if she'd let down her guard, the consequences certainly would have been worse. Eventually she would have eaten those cookies, she would have been lulled (drugged) like everyone else by his charming exterior. She and Joyce might have ended up dead, and so forth. That's a very real possibility, and a very frightening one in part because it's so terribly true. Abusers are not wearing warning signs on their chests, or scarlet letters; they're ordinary people, they can be charming and lovable; they can put on a good front for their friends or at work and then unleash their frustrations at home, etc.
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And about divorced families, and the awkwardness of dealing with a parent's new partner; but to me this episode is also very much about the abuse of power and responsibility in general but ESPECIALLY in terms of the responsibilities of parents/adults (including teachers, administrators, etc) to children, which has huge ripple effects throughout the series. I just rewatched the dream sequence between Buffy and Hank in Nightmares and the actor and character reminds me so, so much of Ted- in the dialogue, in his physique and coloring, in the extreme close-ups of the two of them. (The resemblance makes a lot of sense - that Joyce would be attracted to someone who in some way reminds her of Hank, who may have reminded her of her father, etc etc.)
But somehow the theme of "misuse of power" gets pinned almost entirely to Buffy, that she's "irresponsible" in not pulling back. (Ted using his knowledge in computers to create robot Ted is another such abuse of power, and Willow's lines at the end of the episode foreshadow S6.) And it's odd to me; people have acknowledged that she take responsibility for Ted's "death", but earlier in the episode, when Ted catches her cheating at mini-golf she immediately owns up to it, even if it's a much bigger deal to her than him. And therein lies the problem; if he'd joked with her a bit, or winked or shrugged his shoulders, the outcome might have been completely different; she might have been more willing to give him a chance. When he threatens her - forget it. She's on high alert.
And here's the irony - if she'd let down her guard, the consequences certainly would have been worse. Eventually she would have eaten those cookies, she would have been lulled (drugged) like everyone else by his charming exterior. She and Joyce might have ended up dead, and so forth. That's a very real possibility, and a very frightening one in part because it's so terribly true. Abusers are not wearing warning signs on their chests, or scarlet letters; they're ordinary people, they can be charming and lovable; they can put on a good front for their friends or at work and then unleash their frustrations at home, etc.