One of the things I'm most drawn to with the darker side of fiction is the sense of betrayal. I'm not sure how that ties in but it's the idea of being made to change, to become something you're not and quite possibly wouldn't want to be. I don't know if this will make any sense or not - it's hard for me to put into words - but it's tied to work where I see people changing themselves by taking night classes but they are turning themselves into better employees rather than better humans/people.

Oh that is definitely an interesting idea.

If we stick to the Buffyverse, then any instance of someone being vamped is a metaphorical cause of either dub-con or non-con: the only person on btvs who wanted to willingly be vamped and knew what they were signing up for was Ford in Lie to Me. No one else that we see gave full "consent"; and the whole mythology of the Slayer is that of violation. that was true even before "Get it Done" (get it done actually made the situation worse, not better, with the symbolism of black men gang-raping a white woman. Oh christ on a crumpet, Joss. the harder you try the harder you fail.)

So I get why people are uncomfortable with the Slayer Spell and it's implications. It's hard to escape - but then how much of what happens in life is "dubious consent" at best? We give in because we think we should/think we have to/think we have no other options, just like the people in the continuing ed classes.